Single people how are you coping?

[pawsies]

What are you doing at home?
Do you have a support system?

Feel free to rant on here if it helps 😊

I don't cope well being alone and being stuck in the house drives me crazy. I'm sure I'm not alone on that.

Yes, I am. I suffer social anxiety so I'm very comfortable in my own company and being at home.

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails

I'm an ambivert, not an introvert. I like to socialise. I'm still taking part in zoom meetings with friends, having chats, doing quizzes, playing daft games with them etc. Plus keeping myself busy stops me from getting bored/lonely. Baking/reading/language learning/taking part in citizen science projects etc.

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails

I have another question if that is OK. The posters who are doing OK - would you regard yourselves as introverts? (Not in the judgy sense, just in that divide between those who gain energy from social interaction and those that don’t).

I couldn’t handle living with anyone else but I do need to get out & see friends. So ultimately introvert I think - that’s how I recharge.

@Hatstrategicallydipped I hope you get the help you need.

Not very well, to be honest.

I'm at the tail end of Covid which has knocked me on my arse for over a week, whilst having 3DC to look after. I have great friends who have dropped food and supplies. My house is utter chaos right now. My Uni assignments have been deferred until August, meaning no summer for me.

My friends are amazing, but have happy marriages and so have no real clue how crippling it is to be single this last year. Usually I don't give a crap, I'm more than happy on my own, but this last year has done me over.

My MH is shite, my Psychiatrist and my GP would rather me defer University for a year or two and take some time out but I'm terrified of changing to UC and attempting to claim disability benefits. But I've gone from 40 hours of childcare to just school hours, which isn't enough to study at the correct pace and keep my grades high. I don't learn well from home either, and we have no lab time. So perhaps they have a point.

Maybe I'm just extra miserable because I'm poorly, maybe my MH is getting worse, I really don't know fucking know any more.

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails I am an introvert to an extent. I need time on my own to recharge but that needs to be balanced with time with people. I could work in an office all week quite happily but would need to spend the weekend on my own or I’d get peopled out. Spending all day every day alone doesn’t work for me.

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails

I have another question if that is OK. The posters who are doing OK - would you regard yourselves as introverts? (Not in the judgy sense, just in that divide between those who gain energy from social interaction and those that don’t).

I have always labelled myself as an introvert - not keen on parties, need to recharge on my own after social situations etc.

However lockdown has taught me I'm probably not as much of an introvert as I though I was!

I think what it is is that I enjoy a change of scene - going to an art gallery, cinema, theatre, shopping by myself, trying different parks in London and people watching, I love all those things and obviously cant do them at the moment.

I do have several close friends but they all live in different parts of the country as do my family so that is very difficult.

Plus I bloody miss exercise like swimming, yoga and pilates classes - 2020 was supposed to be my year to get fit! They help my mental health so much post break up, and zoom just isn't the same.

Good. Finished at work on the 30th of December and am shielding till at least 21st of feb. Speak to my mum on the phone but she’s a carer with covid positive clients so am staying away. Got plenty to do in my house as it’s still being renovated. Don’t hear a word from friends, which doesn’t surprise me. Heard nothing from them the previous times I had to shield either. Rather enjoying being alone and doing my own thing. Work at Tesco so can’t work from home either. Am just pleasing myself these days. Also haven’t heard from my manager since the 30th either. Meh.

Feel free to rant on here if it helps

OK, I'll rant away.

I am coping OK in myself - I have a nice house, I can easily WFH. I am following guidance very carefully - I had some cold symptoms before Christmas, and cancelled everything (including going to the gym, seeing my support bubble, all the stuff that makes it bearable) self-isolated, and got a test.

But I am getting fucking sick & tired of selfish thoughtless people who don't realise that all the small everyday actions "Can I do this?" "I'm driving to go for a walk," "I don't care if I get ill", "I'm not wearing a mask because it fogs up my glasses," and so on and on, that I read on here, and see when I do my excitement of the week (going to the supermarket).

These people are thoughtless and selfish. And it's their actions which keep us all in this dreary position.

Professor Chris Whitty is totally right: we ALL need to act as though we are actively infectious.

I haven't touched or been touched now for almost a year - since before the March lockdown, as it was becoming increasingly obvious in February 2020 that social distancing was necessary.

Actually, most of the time I'm act as a kind understanding person. I step into the road to allow families without masks to pass on the high street (why oh why are they all out?). I step back from everybody in the supermarket. Everything takes longer. I don't have a car, and gosh I'd love to go to a "local beauty spot" but I stay off the buses.

But in my mind, sometimes I am thinking differently - I have very little tolerance for non-mask wearers, families in shops, and people who say "I need to mix with other people for my mental health." I steer clear of these people. I would never attack them outwardly, I try to understand that others are doing what they can, but I also know that all the little things that people don't do which they should, and all the things that people do do, but they shouldn't, are keeping us all caged up.

That and the utterly useless totally shite group that passes for "government" at the moment.

Everybody needs to get with the programme, the selfish bastards. There - that's my rant.

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails

I have another question if that is OK. The posters who are doing OK - would you regard yourselves as introverts? (Not in the judgy sense, just in that divide between those who gain energy from social interaction and those that don’t).

I would say I am an introverted extrovert if there is such a thing.

Energy wise I like to be by myself to recharge the batteries but I also can feel reenergised after a good catch up with friends - only friends though I hate being surrounded by people I don’t know at a party or networking thing at work. I get through it but don’t enjoy it

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails

I have another question if that is OK. The posters who are doing OK - would you regard yourselves as introverts? (Not in the judgy sense, just in that divide between those who gain energy from social interaction and those that don’t).

I'm an extrovert, but I'm also very comfortable with my own company and good at keeping myself entertained. I'm surprised how well I've been able to cope, but it would be a very different picture without all the technology. For my job I'm often connecting with people in online meetings for 6 or 7 hours a day and I'm able to keep in touch with lots of friends though WhatsApp etc. It probably also helps that I've been single for a decade and I'm not much of a hugger, so I'm already used to a lack of physical touch. My housing is secure, my job and finances secure and I'm able to buy little treats to cheer me up (nice food, art supplies, a bicycle etc). These things all help.

I'm definitely introverted.

However, the interaction with adults that I got via Uni was most definitely propping my precarious MH up, and since that stopped I've felt very, very flat.

I'm luckier than most in that my finances haven't been affected as I'm a student, however I am still broke as fuck and counting every penny, so whilst my finances haven't changed, they weren't great to begin with.

I moved from council housing to private renting in order to attend Uni so my housing situation is precarious again.

I'm an introvert, and usually very happy with my own company, but I'm finding the lockdowns harder than I thought I would. Am now in a social bubble, but can only expect to see them every few weeks as they're a bit of a distance away. I wfh, but am freelance so the quantity of work is very up and down. Very much missing travel, both for work and for pleasure, other (any) cities, and art and theatre. And also my friends who don't live near me, which is most of them. So, its definitely one of those experiences which has made me realise I'm much more reliant on other people and external activities than I thought I was.

Just trying to take it week by week. I got very depressed in the first lockdown, when I didn't see anyone for 10 weeks.

I managed to get out a fair bit over summer, and had Xmas with family so my isolation this time around has only started about 10 days ago. My support bubble is 200 miles away. I'm very grateful to be able to wfh and have the structure of zoom meetings and work in general. Work support has been my emotional lifeline, as support from friends was minimal.

I am an introvert so can spend a lot longer happily alone than a lot of people...I'd like to see someone face to face at least once a week but it's not possible.

The new variant is a kicker. I'd got use to the idea of isolation until March or so and now it's just not clear. Hence the week by week approach, if I look too far ahead I get overwhelmed.

to everyone who is finding it tough. I hate my own company, my coping strategies were always to go off camping and see a new part of the UK, or just go and sit in a pub to be around people even if not actually with someone. It’s the loss of those crutches that has done me in. I’d love some sort of matchmaking service that would put us unhappy singleys together for a walk in the park.

I am doing fine. I am only slightly introverted.
I WFH, do a lot of craft, am always in comm with friends and family. I try to eat good meals, and have a bubble with 2 friends who, like me, are still full of antibodies.
So it is not great, but nothing to really complain about.

I miss hugs.

Generally I am fine - have quite a few local friends so have been able to do lots of walks, park meet ups etc. Have a friend and her husband nearby as support bubble but I have actually only seen them inside twice - we normally meet outside but it is reassuring to know it is there if I needed it.

But sleep patterns not great - I was a fantastic sleeper before and now I struggle more to fall asleep. And my concentration span is atrocious - I think I use most reserves of it while working so reading books and watching films seem so much harder then they used to. I find myself just watching mindless TV or scrolling on my phone.

I've lost two stone so that's a bonus - i have never drunk alcohol at home alone and so an enforced period of effective sobriety has had good side effects. But I miss being in a pub with my friends and being a bit drunk and everyone being a bit loud and maybe a band playing. Seems such an exotic prospect at the moment

I do also wonder about whether I will now have missed the boat re meeting someone, having a family (am 35). Given I don't have much enthusiasm for internet dating, I might not have met anyone even if the Pandemic hadn't happened but I would have had a been more chance at least to meet someone in real life.

But at the same time, I look around and think there have been some great advantages to being single during this - no stress of having multiple people working from home, no bickering or resentment over household jobs. Doing isolation in a bad relationship would have been far far worse