Single people how are you coping?

[pawsies]

What are you doing at home?
Do you have a support system?

Feel free to rant on here if it helps 😊

I don't cope well being alone and being stuck in the house drives me crazy. I'm sure I'm not alone on that.

It all feels so surreal. I had a normal life and then it stopped and I'm stuck here in my four walls only able to talk to other people through screens.

It feels like a dream. Or prison.

I'm doing better this lockdown then i did the first one, i think its because its cold and miserable outside..
I left an abusive relationship in 2018, so i remind myself constantly, that no matter how lonely i feel now, it will never be as lonely as when i was him!
Would love a big hug though, one day...

Weekends are worse for me, feels more structure in the week. Even with radio and Tv and audio books still feel hard to fill time.

Always harder to eat well at the best of times, especially if you only have a foodshop once a week. Despite trying buy semi heathy food it goes off or just waste half before you can use it. All to easy just get delivery take aways.

Coping fine. Have always loved living alone, love the lack of social obligations, have my bubble for weekly catch ups and the dog for company.

I'm not lonely. Being single doesn't necessarily mean that you are lonely.

I still spend lots of time with friends. We just have our chats online now instead of in a coffee shop. Not being able to work is a pain though. I love my job and don't like sitting around the house.

My support system is my elderly parents. I’ll be 37 soon and I think the pandemic kissed goodbye to my last ditch attempt to meet someone to start a family with in time. That’s the toughest thing and of course, Sod’s law, the majority of my friends have had babies or got pregnant during the lockdown so I’m bombarded with gorgeous pictures and their excitement most days. It’s hard and I feel bad for being upset at other people’s happiness. I think it’s affected my social skills for sure as I’m also having to shield so don’t even get to the supermarket. I feel a bit like an outcast. As the year has gone on I feel a bit more accepting of my state...less horrified I guess. But it’s still painful. Plus my hobbies don’t exist anymore and they helped to get me out of the house and feeling less lonely pre pandemic. There’s not been much to take my mind off of things. I’m stuck with myself and my own dark thoughts and selfhatred.

It's one foot in front of another really. I have a lockdown buddy every weekend (same one since the start also single) which has been a godsend.
Can wfh which is good.

But I do struggle with the utter stupidity of families who seem to think they won't get it and then are surprised when they do. An absolutely huge proportion (over 90%) of covid cases are caught within a household.

When we are supposed to see no one there's families everywhere - going shopping etc together. I don't want to go shopping with someone else's kids not masked either with their friends or in shops. I try not to think about it but I'm in London. And out nhs is fucked. And I'm over 50.

Struggling with WFH and homeschooling 2 DC. It's boring and relentless and I miss being able to see my friends or just going out for a meal/cinema/catch up. I think all my friends have forgotten about me!

I'm lonely when the DC go to their dads but count down the days when they're here as it's sooo hard. Work have refused to let me cut hours and denied my furlough request.

All I do is scroll through my phone, watch crap on Netflix and then can't sleep properly at night. I can't get out for a walk once the kids are in bed as they can't be left alone and I'm too busy doing everything else before then.

Well, Ive just eaten a full selection box! Im 53 and so glad Imma nurse at the moment because those three shifts a week are the only time I see people. I go for a walk every day but im sick of going to the same place. I feed the stray cats every night and its quite creepy with nobody around. Im in London.

I'm pretty unhappy, and I never normally feel unhappy at all. The repeated lockdowns have disrupted my entire life. I'm having to work from home now but previously I worked outside the home because other work employees felt they were more at risk than me so I took on some of their work. I hate working from home and I've started keeping strange hours, working til 3 or 4am and not getting up til midday.

I was dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years whom I thought was the one 1 month into the first lockdown because in his words, he couldn't see me and he felt lonely and bored. He then blocked me because he felt guilty so I've been relying on meeting friends and when my running group resumed in the summer, it was a huge improvement. That of course has been taken away from me again. I then found out through a mutual friend that my ex had dumped the woman he cheated on me for, she had found out he had made her pregnant and she had an abortion. The whole thing is horrific.

I've given up any hope of any form of a love life for the foreseeable future. I tried online dating and I became further upset by the awful way that men behave in lockdown - basically they send a few brief chats then ask to meet up for sex or nude photos. Its impossible to meet anyone decent or to meet them safely ie sussing them out first through a mutual hobby. Its made me aware of a whole new world out there that I don't want to be part of.

I also know 2 people who committed suicide, both runners who suffered from depression who couldn't cope when their running groups were cancelled as that was their lifeline. Every day is the same, theres nothing to look forward to, no support, no enjoyment, just surviving.

@SoupDragon

Why is this in AIBU? What is your question about reasonableness?

Have you thought about changing your user name to something more representative of your self appointed role of telling posters off for not using the boards to your standards? You do it rather a lot.

Bored.

I have DS part of the time - but he spends a lot of his time playing online with his friends.

Which is great for him - and I am so glad he can do that but it's very boring being at home and WFH as well.

I’m ok. I’m a single parent though not on my own so I do have company (eldest is 12).

I chat to neighbours at a distance if I see them, talk to the cleaner, can still have a walk with a friend if the kids aren’t here.

Have to see exh more than I’d like with swapping kid, but I’m just glad I didn’t have to lockdown with him / this didn’t happen when we were together.

I'm plodding through but really missing seeing my mum and dad, and I would kill to go see some art or theatre.

Have teen DD here so not completely alone but miss other adults. I do have a support bubble in my brothers family but they live in London so only see them when DD is at her dads - in fact I will probably travel up to them tomorrow.

Moved in April to a new town, post separation, so obviously lockdown has prevented me putting roots down here which is hard - hard to meet people and unable to work at present as school closures/restrictions have taken childcare away, which doesn't help.

What do we do all day? Well online learning and DD has to sign in to Microsoft teams so that gets her up, going for walks obviously, trying to get my new house straight, have volunteered to help out at school with the lateral testing for pupils.

Its definitely testing as a single adult, but I do keep reminding myself that it could be worse and I could be in lockdown with my shitbag ex so....

It’s definitely testing as a single adult, but I do keep reminding myself that it could be worse and I could be in lockdown with my shitbag ex so....

That’s the thing. Ten years ago I’d have been in lockdown with my ex, four years ago as a lodger. However shitty lockdown might be, it’s infinitely better in my own space.

@Hatstrategicallydipped

Not coping at all. Professionals meeting held about me today. No support bubble. Just myself. Though I live in London, I couldn't be further away from anything. Heavily relying on police who have been lovely to me. Been brought to A&E almost every night for feeling suicidal.

I am sorry to hear that 💐

Have they been able to prescribe anything for you?

Any support groups that you can attend via zoom?

I like it too

Have they been able to prescribe anything for you?

Bizarrely no and I'm under 2 psychiatrists now due to being under the crisis team in addition to the Community Recovery team.

Any support groups that you can attend via zoom?
None that have been suggested to me, no.

The only time that I've felt like this was directly after I had my first child when I was put on antidepressants and antipsychotics.
I haven't been on them for about 15 years.
I'm now alcohol dependent, so they won't treat anything until I'm abstinent.
At my worst, I hear voices in my head - it's really hard to explain - but it's like everything in your mind is very loud - currently incoherent shouting. Not sleeping. Slowly going insane I guess!

Isolation of any sort destroys me and I chose the word 'destroy' specifically. I'm not sure whether I will survive this.

Do you have to have stopped drinking to attend AA?

Otherwise, I was going to suggest the Mary Frances trust, there are Zoom coffee mornings, exercise, yoga, and crafts/ creative writing classes? Would you maybe find any of these things therapeutic?

I suppose the OP meant is it unreasonable for single people living alone in the present circumstances to be concerned about their own feelings?
I have actually been thinking about this quite a bit recently. As somone who grew up depressed and was depressed most of her life and might well still be regarded as depressive if I ever expressed my real thoughts to anyone, I assumed I would cope quite well with lockdown. After all I had felt lonely and isolated all my life , very miserably so when I was younger and compared myself to others so why would this be any different. It is actually easier in many ways as I can now watch the tv or look at the internet or listen to the radio though it can still irritate me to hear people pontificating. I have learnt to switch off my mind or attention to what arouses strong feelings as they have no outlet. I would be tempted to say there is only so much self-beating one can do but that would be a lie. Fortunately for me I am also deeply avoidant.

Ironic really when I spend time on a website dedicated to experience of mothers and I never was one. But I do have the great good fortune of being old and I remember how stressful and downright dangerous family life can be if I were tempted to dwell on what I may have missed out on. I do feel very sorry for so many families stuck inside in small flats or houses with no escape.

@WitchesGlove

Do you have to have stopped drinking to attend AA?

Otherwise, I was going to suggest the Mary Frances trust, there are Zoom coffee mornings, exercise, yoga, and crafts/ creative writing classes? Would you maybe find any of these things therapeutic?

Never heard of the Mary Frances trust? Do you have a link to it?

At the moment, I'm in what they consider crisis, so to be frank, I'm not capable of doing anything. I appear to spend the wee small hours with police/in A&E and the morning sleeping.

As I said, I'm really not coping. I desperately need people.

Relentless. Struggling. Can’t even get exercise as recently paralysed. It’s a living nightmare.

As I work from home now as well but only two days a week, I feel like Ive fast forwarded into early retirement.

Watching box sets - check
Reading - check
Going for walks - check
Gardening - check
'Pottering' - check
Going to the garden centre - check
Napping all day - check