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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nhs worker friend refusing vaccine - future children

195 replies

Trying2611 · 05/01/2021 13:06

I feel like I am NBU but talking to my friend today who’s the same age as me 25, she works in a front facing NHS role and will soon be offered the vaccine, however she is saying she is going to refuse on the grounds that it may make her infertile Hmm not sure where she has heard this?

I said oh well you should think about getting pregnant now before your vaccine (joking ofcourse) and she said very angrily why do you think this is a joke it’s serious do you not care if you can’t have kids then she stormed off and won’t answer my calls AIBU or was she being ridiculous

OP posts:
PaddyF0dder · 05/01/2021 13:09

I also work in the NHS, and one of my colleagues is also making this decision - doesn’t want to be vaccinated as she’s worried about impact on fertility.

Never mind that she’s morbidly obese and smokes like a chimney, which are bad for fertility. Nope. Or the unknown risk of the virus upon fertility or neonatal health. Nope.

Life is an intelligence test, and I guess not all of us pass it.

pointythings · 05/01/2021 13:11

She's clearly chosen to believe some conspiracy nonsense she has read online and that means you can't argue with her. I just hope she and everyone like her end up having to face the consequences of their choices - no access to holidays, leisure, shopping, days out if you're not vaccinated.

PurpleDaisies · 05/01/2021 13:12

It’s her decision. Not one I’d make but it’s up to her.

Joking about getting pregnant really isn’t a good idea. Lots of people are sensitive about itz

Original poster
Trying2611 · 05/01/2021 13:12

Upon reading my post I do feel abit guilty now because it's clearly something she has anxiety about, I maybe shouldn't have made the joke, but I feel like with her Job she can't be allowed to put others at risk

OP posts:
mummy2oli · 05/01/2021 13:13

There is a lot of uncertainty with the vaccine. It’s an unknown vaccine. Those who are of child baring age should consider this. If you have finished having children then go for it. But there is nothing wrong with being cautious.

Quail15 · 05/01/2021 13:15

I'm frontline NHS and 24 weeks pregnant. We have been told not to get the vaccine if we are pregnant or trying to conceive as there haven't been any studies in this area yet. They can't yet say if the vaccine will cause any complications. I'm sure further studies will show that the vaccine is fine but until then the advice is not to have it yet.

PurpleDaisies · 05/01/2021 13:18

I feel like with her job she can't be allowed to put others at risk

We don’t know that vaccines reduce transmission yet. Unvaccinated staff won’t behave in an different way to those who have been vaccinated. Everyone will still be wearing PPE.

TrashCanBird · 05/01/2021 13:18

@mummy2oli

There is a lot of uncertainty with the vaccine. It’s an unknown vaccine. Those who are of child baring age should consider this. If you have finished having children then go for it. But there is nothing wrong with being cautious.
It's absolutely not an unknown vaccine. Can you provide your source for saying this?
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 05/01/2021 13:20

About half of medical staff in my hospital are refusing to have the vaccine. Its become one huge argument between one half and the other. I've decided I can't talk about it anymore or i'll say things I'll regret. And yes I am having the vaccine.

TopBants · 05/01/2021 13:21

I said YABU. Not because I think it'll impact on fertility (has any vaccine ever had that side effect?) but because your friend is entitled to make her own decisions about her own body and you don't get to call her ridiculous for doing so, even if you don't agree with her.

YouBoughtMeAWall · 05/01/2021 13:23

The impact of the vaccine on fertility is unknown. She is wise, at 25, to wait until more is known. Personally I think the sheep mentality and anger towards people who don’t instantly take whatever they’re told to take is bizarre. Outrage at someone wanting to know how a vaccine will affect them? Bonkers.

LaceyBetty · 05/01/2021 13:24

@mummy2oli

There is a lot of uncertainty with the vaccine. It’s an unknown vaccine. Those who are of child baring age should consider this. If you have finished having children then go for it. But there is nothing wrong with being cautious.
There is certainly not a lot of uncertainty about it and it is not an unknown vaccine. What does that even mean?
Orf1abc · 05/01/2021 13:25

Whatever my personal opinion, I respect other individuals right to bodily autonomy.

wednesday32 · 05/01/2021 13:25

NHS workers have been advised if pregnant or planning to conceive to not have the vaccine, after the thalidomide incident in the 60's people are more enlightened into new vaccines and potential risks associated. Your friend didn't know when training and qualifying for her job that this would arise. She is right to do best by her health, it really is not fair that you suggested she should get pregnant now. it may have been a joke to you but other people might not find that advise helpful or funny.

FTMF30 · 05/01/2021 13:27

It's her choice and her body. YABU.

TonMoulin · 05/01/2021 13:27

Tbh, with her job it’s HER who is at risk much more than the patients she is working with!!!

I mean, nhs staff who got Covid are much more likely to have caught it at work from infected patients than the other way around.....

PinkiOcelot · 05/01/2021 13:27

It does say on the Gov.uk website that it’s unknown whether it causes infertility. Maybe your friend doesn’t want to try and get pregnant later on then finds she can’t due to the vaccine.
Have you got kids OP?

AlrightTreacle · 05/01/2021 13:27

I said oh well you should think about getting pregnant now before your vaccine (joking ofcourse) and she said very angrily why do you think this is a joke it’s serious do you not care if you can’t have kids then she stormed off and won’t answer my calls AIBU or was she being ridiculous

How close are you to your friend? She could be trying to get pregnant now, or have been trying for a while, be having fertility problems or have had a miscarriage. In which case your comment would be pretty insensitive.

I think it's really rude to ask about pregnancy, even if you think it's a joke. Though plenty of my colleagues joke about it with me. It's not fucking funny.

Though yes, she is being a bit silly about the vaccine.

TonMoulin · 05/01/2021 13:29

Btw the comments about fertility is because they found some RNA in the sperm from the vaccine.

Cue for questioning what will be the impact of the vaccine on fertility in general.

Plus of course, the fact that nhs workers have been advised to be careful if they are planning to conceive.

Oly4 · 05/01/2021 13:29

Actually the JCVI and MHRA have said pregnant women could have the vaccine and to talk to their GP.
It is not an unknown vaccine, there is not a lot of uncertainty.
The vast majority of medicines are not tested on pregnant women, this is no different.
Your friend is entitled to do what she wants but collectively I think we should be getting as many people as possible to have the vaccine to end this pandemic

AlrightTreacle · 05/01/2021 13:30

fullfact.org/health/vaccine-covid-fertility/

Original poster
Trying2611 · 05/01/2021 13:31

Hi all thanks for you replies I do feel really bad now and have text her apologising I really didn't think about it like this! No i do not have kids myself but did not consider the vaccine to have side effects such as infertility - I will definitely be doing my own research now before considering having the vaccine and will be thinking before I make stupid jokes in the future x

OP posts:
Neversleepingever · 05/01/2021 13:34

I said YABU. Not because I think it'll impact on fertility (has any vaccine ever had that side effect?) but because your friend is entitled to make her own decisions about her own body and you don't get to call her ridiculous for doing so, even if you don't agree with her.

^^ Same

Original poster
Trying2611 · 05/01/2021 13:36

[quote AlrightTreacle]fullfact.org/health/vaccine-covid-fertility/[/quote]
thanks for posting x

OP posts:
AlrightTreacle · 05/01/2021 13:36

If you're 25, don't work in healthcare and have no health conditions, then I wouldn't worry about researching the vaccine. Very unlikely you'll get one any time soon.