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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nhs worker friend refusing vaccine - future children

195 replies

Trying2611 · 05/01/2021 13:06

I feel like I am NBU but talking to my friend today who’s the same age as me 25, she works in a front facing NHS role and will soon be offered the vaccine, however she is saying she is going to refuse on the grounds that it may make her infertile Hmm not sure where she has heard this?

I said oh well you should think about getting pregnant now before your vaccine (joking ofcourse) and she said very angrily why do you think this is a joke it’s serious do you not care if you can’t have kids then she stormed off and won’t answer my calls AIBU or was she being ridiculous

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 05/01/2021 15:44

"Normally anyone with sufficient knowledge of those structures to notice a short part of the sequence is the same, would also see the rest of sequence is different – and also know the difference makes a mis-identification unlikely."

But again you've said 'unlikely'. No epidemiologists, infectious disease specialists etc are saying that it absolutely won't have an effect. There's people on here who are saying that the intelligence of Nurses is lacking, so therefore the experts who created the vaccine are also lacking in intelligence because they aren't giving a firm answer. For some people future children are the most important thing in their lives, so they aren't going to risk that. They want 100% guarantees. Because the vaccine doesn't stop transmission, it's a valid choice for women under 40 to not get the vaccine. As for long covid, the rates are coming out the same as any post viral syndromes. Around 10% for the under 40's and most of them are either obese or have things such as Asthma. But there's bodies of research and more treatment pathways. When I dropped weight my CF (post viral after TB) got easily manageable. The same is showing in regards to Covid. The issue with Covid is now possible mutations, but younger people who've refused the vaccination can review and deal with that if it occurs.

I'm getting the Oxford vaccine. Two of my DD's are getting the Pfizer, one is declining it. I respect her choice.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 05/01/2021 15:45

It's not so much the impact on fertility. it is not known (because not tested for ethical reasons - no conspiracy) if the vaccine will affect developing embryos.

Given that most young women who are considering pregnancy are not likely to suffer severed covid and are unlikely to die, it's not an unreasonable position to take.

It's a different risk stratification for those in vulnerable groups.

IEat · 05/01/2021 15:47

It’s her choice to make and you shouldn’t have responded in the way you did.

CurbsideProphet · 05/01/2021 15:51

I'm waiting to start IVF. The (NHS)clinic have said that if I'm offered the vaccine I should only have the Oxford vaccine. The Consultant also said any woman planning a pregnancy in the next 3-6 months should not have the Pfizer vaccine.

Coyoacan · 05/01/2021 15:54

@PerkingFaintly

I am very open to scientific information and am well aware that vaccines can have their downsides, but there have been some very strange allegations lately on social media that do not seem to just be the worries of ordinary people but rather a concerted campaign of fear.

Newstart20 · 05/01/2021 15:55

It's totally her decision and there will be many other people in similar roles who also don't take the vaccine. You only need to worry about what you choose to do.

I am unsure if I will take the vaccine due to similar concerns around fertility, seeing as we're hoping to conceive soon it's not such a problem to wait. I'd rather not take the risk, just like your friend.

iolaus · 05/01/2021 15:56

Could you share the link please where it's changed?
I'm a midwife and last I heard (Saturday) it was very much pregnant women and women planning to conceive in the next 2-3 months should not have it

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 05/01/2021 15:57

I think there may be confusion about the vaccines; the Pfizer one uses a different mechanism from that of the Oxford/AstraZeneca one. The latter uses the same mechanism as previous SARS vaccines (that was what they were up to at Oxford), and has been being tested for over a decade with no sign of infertility as a result of it.

So advice given before the Oxford one was brought into use might be "we don't yet know" and advice given once it was available be "it's safe."

ketosavedmylife · 05/01/2021 15:57

@anon2334

It’s not a conspiracy theory if that’s in the insert but if mumsnet say it’s a conspiracy theory then God help.

Basically we all have our own rights to refuse and it’s none of your business. It’s part of our human rights. It’s a new vaccine and therefore some things are not known. It’s not anti vax to be cautious.

Agreed.
ketosavedmylife · 05/01/2021 15:58

@popNlock

Life is an intelligence test, and I guess not all of us pass it It's really not. It's about making choices for yourself and living how you want. But if it makes you feel more intelligent to think this, good for you Wink
Yes, I thought this. Just because you have a different opinion, you are not stupid.
blueangel19 · 05/01/2021 16:01

Now is the Saga against the people who does want the vaccine. What happened to my body my choice? Ffs unbelievable

basilsmom · 05/01/2021 16:08

The advise is you shouldn't get pregnant for 3 months after getting the vaccine. Me and my husband were supposed to start TTC now but because I want the vaccine we've postponed trying but there are other people in my workplace (also front line NHS) that aren't getting it because they want to TTC now

G5000 · 05/01/2021 16:08

A virus that most people will survive opposed to who knows what?

What? Are you saying most people don't survive the vaccine?

Franticbutterfly · 05/01/2021 16:13

I work on a red Covid ward and I won't be having the vaccine...ask me again in a year or two. This is not because I'm anti-vaxx, I'm cautious about any medications I put into my body.

LilMidge01 · 05/01/2021 16:15

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

About half of medical staff in my hospital are refusing to have the vaccine. Its become one huge argument between one half and the other. I've decided I can't talk about it anymore or i'll say things I'll regret. And yes I am having the vaccine.
This is terrifying! Are medical staff really refusing the vaccine in large numbers?!
LilMidge01 · 05/01/2021 16:17

@basilsmom

The advise is you shouldn't get pregnant for 3 months after getting the vaccine. Me and my husband were supposed to start TTC now but because I want the vaccine we've postponed trying but there are other people in my workplace (also front line NHS) that aren't getting it because they want to TTC now
Are you kidding me?! People are genuinely being that selfish that they will not vaccinate themselves for the good of everyone (and these future children they want!) because they dont want to wait 3 months to TTC?
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 05/01/2021 16:24

I've been here before. I gave my children (well, got a doctor to give my children) the MMR because I had a look at the stats and knew just how much more likely they were to be blinded etc by the diseases than they were to be rendered autistic -- even if Wakefield were not a charlatan, which I was pretty sure having had a look at his "research" that he was. I got a lot of stick for that, back then.

LilMidge01 · 05/01/2021 16:25

@Newstart20

It's totally her decision and there will be many other people in similar roles who also don't take the vaccine. You only need to worry about what you choose to do.

I am unsure if I will take the vaccine due to similar concerns around fertility, seeing as we're hoping to conceive soon it's not such a problem to wait. I'd rather not take the risk, just like your friend.

You only need to worry about what you choose to do. Normally, sure. But not when it comes to vaccines. As much of the population that is able to get vaccinated should be vaccinated in order to protect everyone.

The Oxford/Astra Zeneca vaccine has been done before for other diseases and has just been adpated for covid so there is no 'infertility' risk in all that time it has previously been used. For the Pfizer vaccine, they are advising against pregnant women having it and women not to get pregnant within 3 months of having it at the moment because they haven't done enough tests to find out the impacts on pregnancy and foetus development. Not infertility!!!!

It is beyond selfish to choose to not get the vaccine that will benefit wider society and also, ironically, help the future of the society that you want your child to be born into, because you cannot be arsed to wait 3 months before trying to conceive. Also, that only applies to the Pfizer vaccine.

Ihatefish · 05/01/2021 16:27

I think people have very valid reasons for not wanting the vaccine. It should be an individual choice. There’s no evidence the vaccine stops transmission which actually makes people who have had the vaccine potentially more of a risk as they could be carrying the virus asymptotically. Therefore PPE will be needed and testing needed more than ever. The virus won’t be irradicated by the vaccine, it will just keep more people alive and less sick whilst the virus naturally declines COVID won’t disappear, we will be living with it or rather it’s descendant mutations. All this stuff about protect society by having the jab is only protect the vulnerable by them having the jab. If youre not vulnerable I think you’re creating more of a risk by having it and carrying it asymptotically than if you didn’t where you might be aware of having COVID by a mild illness. Any medications carry risk, It would be different balancing act if the vaccine was proved to stop transmission

Ihatefish · 05/01/2021 16:31

I also suspect that people who have had the jab will behave in a more reckless way regarding social distancing, hygiene etc and put people who can’t or choose not to have the jab at more of a risk

acrossthebrooklynbridge · 05/01/2021 16:32

Life is an intelligence test, and I guess not all of us pass it

I believe that it is a sign of intelligence that someone learns all they can, makes the decision that is right for their life and their situation AND does not criticise anyone else who comes to a different decision.

PerkingFaintly · 05/01/2021 16:32

asymptotically

That word does not mean what you think it means.

PerkingFaintly · 05/01/2021 16:33

(For anyone wondering: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asymptote )

makingitupaswegoon · 05/01/2021 16:34

It really isn't any of your business OP and vaccines need to be voluntary. FWIW loads of NHS workers refuse the flu vaccine each year - personal choice.

LulaMay17 · 05/01/2021 16:35

I am with your friend 100% and can not believe that so few people are questioning this vaccine!

By far the biggest regret I will ever have in my life is blindly accepting the swine flu vaccination whilst pregnant in 2009, As was strongly advised to all pregnant women during the swine flu epidemic.

Now, 11 years on, the son I was carrying at the time has narcolepsy- almost certainly due to me having the vaccine as it has been scientifically proven since that the vaccine caused narcolepsy in a significant number of children.

I can not voice strongly enough that this vaccine is hugely rushed and known side effects have already been swept under the table to get it rolled out quickly. Please- especially women of child bearing age- think long and hard before taking this!