Opinions you have that aren't popular on mumsnet(2)

[Lockdowner35]

As the last thread reached 1000 posts

I will start

Jo Swinson would have do a better job than Boris on Coronavirus

@Blursula I don't want to re-ignite the breastfeeding argument again but have a look further down the thread when a poster said women who don't want to breastfeed should consider whether motherhood is for them.
When I breastfed and was part of BF groups I found them to be quite sanctimonious and a bit cult-ish. Then when I switched to formula for my own sanity because I was struggling with chronic low supply people on the WhatsApp BF chat blanked me.
I honestly don't have anything against BF mums in general, just the judgey sanctimonious ones.

[quote CayrolBaaaskin]@VinylDetective - Iol - point perfectly illustrated. Not all women are poor dears who need a man to pay for their lives. Plenty women out earn men and/or have the most assets. Marriage may financially benefit some women, maybe even the majority but not all and doesn’t necessarily “protect” anyone as I said above.[/quote]
Some women may well out earn their partners or own the majority os assets but it’s not the norm. It’s incredibly dangerous to encourage women who would be disadvantaged by not being married to believe that piece of paper is valueless. It’s no lol-ing matter.

Racism isn't the sole preserve of white people.

Whilst I fully accept the UK is far from perfect, there is a lot of very open racism in other countries in the developed world.

There are people who:

1. Own their own homes without living on the breadline.
2. Are able to string a sentence together using words of more than one syllable and not dotted with expletives.
3. Are able to cook from scratch, hoover, iron and generally clean without the latter being a daily occurrence.
4. Can use a knife and fork in the correct way.
5. Do not ferry their children from pillar to post after school 8 days per week as a convenient way of exhausting the children and avoiding much contact with them.
6. Do not co-sleep (whatever that is) and have babies that sleep in their own nurseries from 6 weeks old. Shock horror, some of the babies even sleep through the night!
7. Pay to educate their children.
8. Have never been on a cruise or a villa holiday (why would you? Cruise ships are floating germ pools, villa holidays are daily life in hot weather and a foreign language).

This is going to come across horrible, and I don't mean it to.. But I don't think your children exist as an accessory to your way of life, or as extension of your personality. It sometimes seems like people have an idea of the life they want, and children are born just to fit in with this. I don't know if this is common on mn so much, but in some circles "parenting" is almost a hobby, or lifestyle choice. Parents live vicariously through their kids, and this tends to go alongside a hell of a lot of competitive attitude.

@RunningFromInsanity

Fancy my ‘unpopular’ opinion being unpopular...

But yes, basically what @ChochoCrazyCat said.

And don’t get me started on the selfish ones who force dogs to sleep outside with them, just to get more money from the public...

It's often not as simple as homeless people refusing help. Many have mental health issues, they often decline offers of accommodation (hostels, etc) due to traumatic past experiences, exploitation, intimidation, etc..because those alternatives pose a far greater threat to their wellbeing than a park bench.

Agree about the dogs though.

@CayrolBaaaskin but it makes it easier for many women to get their hands on their husband's assets.

@RabbityMcRabbit

"...pain-free until the anaesthetic wears off you mean!"

No, if one is clued up enough to not play a martyr and take the pain-relief offered when it's offered, there is no pain. I never had a twinge of pain during my hospital stay, and used the painkillers given for about a week after, so can say - it was pain-free experience and bloody marvellous at that. Why the fuck would i go through pain if I could avoid it?

Same here for my sections. You take your painkillers by the clock for the week or so whether you feel you need them or not then just as and when needed from around the second week onwards. My planned sections were amazingly calm, relaxed experienced and were a very controlled way of giving birth which plenty of women prefer. I had the curtain lowered for delivery, baby delivered onto my chest, and had skin-to-skin and breastfed while they did the stitching. The reported risks of a caesarean vs a vaginal birth don't take into account long term outcomes and don't differentiate between emergency sections which usually have co-morbid high risk factors due to it being an emergency and planned sections which don't tend to have those urgent factors.

Having a "friendship group" after your twenties is weird and infantile. In fact using the term "friendship group" at any age is weird/irritating.

It's not about breastfeeding having "benefits". Breastfeeding is a biological norm, it should be about formula posing "risks". I bet if it was marketed like that (it should be IMO) then breastfeeding rates would soar as who wants to put their newborn at risk from the moment they enter the world?

Admittedly it's a small risk in the western world but formula use carries an enormous risk in some developing countries. I've done both BTW so I'm not being sanctimonious about breastfeeding and formula would be a marvelous substitute if it was actually used as a substitute. The BF rates/lack of support is appalling and babies and their mothers deserve better.

Having a "friendship group" after your twenties is weird and infantile. In fact using the term "friendship group" at any age is weird/irritating.

I get that it’s an annoying phrase, but what’s the alternative?

@Badwill Yeah, babies failing to thrive or dying of malnutrition due to feeding difficulties/low milk supply is also a biological norm.
It's what used to happen and still happens in some parts of the world where people don't have access to formula. There used to be a booming industry in wet nurses, so clearly not everyone was breastfeeding even when formula didn't exist.
Formula does not have "risks" except in parts of the world where people don't have access to clean water and hygienic preparation facilities. FF mums aren't putting their newborns at risk. Formula is safe, nutritionally complete food for babies.
I know it's an unpopular opinions thread and you're entitled to not like formula but it's irresponsible to spread dangerous misinformation like this. A baby in the USA actually died because the mum was pushed to BF despite low supply and accidentally starved the baby. Low supply is very common despite BF advocates refusing to acknowledge it and all the support in the world can't magically change that.

Id love a friendship group. Im lovely 😍 but all my friends are one friend here, one friend there.

Sorry to keep going on about BF. But there may be new mums or mums to be who are reading this thread, some of whom may struggle with BF. Formula could the difference between their baby thriving or not thriving, and their MH being good or suffering. It's important to know that whatever choice you make you ARE doing the best for your baby. Fed is best.
I'll shut up now.

I prefer tons of cream in my coffee. Change my mind

[quote ChochoCrazyCat]@Blursula I don't want to re-ignite the breastfeeding argument again but have a look further down the thread when a poster said women who don't want to breastfeed should consider whether motherhood is for them.
When I breastfed and was part of BF groups I found them to be quite sanctimonious and a bit cult-ish. Then when I switched to formula for my own sanity because I was struggling with chronic low supply people on the WhatsApp BF chat blanked me.
I honestly don't have anything against BF mums in general, just the judgey sanctimonious ones. [/quote]
I don’t agree with what that pp said at all (although worth remembering this is the unpopular opinions thread after all, so many are unpopular for good reason!)

I just think, based on personal experience, a lot of people automatically ASSUME all bf mums are smug and judgey. I can feel eyes rolling sometimes as I go to feed in public or previously at baby groups (note the person also in this thread who said people who bf in public do it for attention). Nobody eye rolls at someone preparing some formula, or thinks they’re doing it for attention.

We are all just feeding our babies. Nobody should be made to feel inferior for giving their babies formula - but it works both ways too. And i actually think bad attitudes towards people who bf are rife.

@Orlania
"And to make it extra clear, I don't think my kids, who got a head start because of the money I worked for and earned for them, should then have to pay more tax as a result of that."

Wiser words never spoken. Agree 100%.

@Blursula Fair enough...I'm sorry you've experienced this attitude. It's definitely not right. I find it bizarre that some people think BF in public is showing off. If baby needs to eat what are you meant to do.

For some kids it is ok to go to boarding school before their teens. And many love it.

I don't think zombie threads are bad. You get people moaning if someone does, but then if someone starts a thread about something posted before, they get told they didn't need a new one and to go back and read old ones

[quote ChochoCrazyCat]@FestiveFruitloop Hmm, I don't think that poster is necessarily far off the mark tbh.
In my previous job I had some dealings with homeless charities. I live in a medium sized city. They told me that out of all the beggars in our city, only 2 are actually rough sleepers. They'd been offered help and accommodation multiple times but turned it down.
Also that many of the beggars in town do unfortunately spend the money on drink and drugs, and then go back to the shelter and start fights/smash things up.
It wasn't said in a nasty/Daily Mail-esque way, just matter of fact.
That's not to say they don't deserve sympathy...it's often the case that they have complex problems with MH/addiction/trauma that mean they can't manage life, money and a tenancy. It's a grim way to live and no one would willingly choose it but the alternative (accepting help and putting in the work to change) is often too hard and daunting, and many relapse or give up altogether.
[/quote]
There is a world of difference between this and what @RunningFromInsanity said. I do agree with part of what you said (I don’t agree with the other post at all) but I’d like to elaborate on the people who “turn help down”.

My friend Darren was homeless. He was offered accommodation and other long term practical help (I.e. not just handouts) many, many times, from charities, from his family, from me, and from others. He accepted a few times but couldn’t settle at all, due to PTSD from being in frontline combat in the army.

When he was on the streets he really wanted to find a way to access help that worked for him, but nothing did work. He felt safer on the streets than in accommodation. The last time I spoke to him, a month or so before he died, he was was so excited because he had been contacted by an armed forces homeless charity and thought it might work, but it didn’t.

He died from winter flu a couple of years ago. He was the loveliest man, and for someone to suggest that this was somehow his choice because he could have found a way to get help - that’s just wrong.

Some step kids are utter bastards.

Granite worktops are overrated as is Lobster meat.

Education has been dumbed down and most teenagers don't need to go to university.

Racism isn't just the preserve of white people and we're not solely responsible for slavery. Most nations throughout history embraced the practice.

Lots of people have such cushy lives these days that they invent things to moan/be offended about.

Real poverty is living in a slum and not knowing when you'll get your next meal. It's not poverty being deprived of computers, Sky TV, booze and fags, smartphones, fancy trainers etc.

@Worst I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Can I ask, what sort of help did he feel would be beneficial, compared to what's available?

@Worst I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That must have been heartbreaking.