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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Opinions you have that aren't popular on mumsnet(2)

999 replies

Lockdowner35 · 03/01/2021 15:58

As the last thread reached 1000 posts

I will start

Jo Swinson would have do a better job than Boris on Coronavirus

OP posts:
JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 04/01/2021 14:34

It’s ok to not be ambitious. You can still have a strong work ethic in a job rather than a career

In a similar vein it's also absolutely fine not to push your child to be the smartest in the class. It's fine not to send them to every activity going. It's even fine to be blasé about their school choice and to choose a school because it's close to home.

Babykoala1 · 04/01/2021 14:38

Opening the window and having fresh flowers doesn’t make your house smell nice like plug in air freshener does (and they probably aren’t the source of your headache)
Moon cups are gross

surelynotnever · 04/01/2021 14:40

It is weird not to want anyone else to hold your newborn baby.

VinylDetective · 04/01/2021 14:45

@LordOfTheOnionRings

I think if you have a glass of wine every night then you have a problem.
That’ll be the entire French, Italian and Spanish nations, then.
Ohalrightthen · 04/01/2021 14:45

@surelynotnever

It is weird not to want anyone else to hold your newborn baby.
THIS. Refusing to let anyone else cuddl your baby isnt "normal maternal instinct" it's a sign you should speak to your midwife/HV/GP about your mental health!
becca3210 · 04/01/2021 14:50

The amount of gender disappointment 'I am so sad the baby is a boy' threads on here do my head in. I don't have much sympathy for it

littlepattilou · 04/01/2021 14:51

No-one needs to spend 10s of 1000s on a wedding. It doesn't make you special, or better than anyone who spends £1000 on their wedding.

Most people (in the western world,) want a daughter. Gender disappointment is always when it's a boy.

It's Ok to NOT answer your door. You are not obliged to answer, or let anyone in.

And refusing to take peoples packages in for them is perfectly acceptable. You are not their personal servant, and don't have to take it in and look after it until they can be arsed to come get it.

Having collagen and lip fillers etc, NEVER makes a person look younger.

No-one looks more than 10 years younger than they are. Not when you look properly. Anyone who has thought you are 15-20 years younger (if it has ever happened,) has terrible eyesight OR they are taking the piss. (And no woman past 35 years old has ever had anyone ask 'is your mommy in' when they answer the door.)

A size 14-16 is NOT fat, and in most cases, is not overweight.

Agree with @Iminaglasscaseofemotion there is no need for prolonged breastfeeding. But I would say there is no need to do it past 12 months old. Any longer than that is just ridiculous. The child doesn't need it.

Agree with @SpnBaby1967There is no such thing as 'CIS women.' Just women. I will never call myself a 'CIS woman.' And womens rights ARE being eroded to make way for transwomens rights. And it's not transphobic to say that, so just plop off with that accusation if you're thinking of throwing it out there. (And JK Rowling is NOT transphobic!)

People who are overweight sometimes cannot help it, and don't choose to be that way. People with drug or alcohol problems receive sympathy, and so do people with mental health issues now (thankfully.) Yet people with weight problems receive scorn and derision.

There is nothing with having more than 3 children. Or having just one .. Or having NONE. It's fuckall to do with anyone how many kids people have. And how many families do you know with 4 or more children? (I mean NOW, like with all the children under 18?) Bet you can count them on the fingers of one hand.

A person in their 50s (or older,) cannot just 'start over' and it's not that young. There is nothing wrong with being past middle age, but let's stop pretending it's still young, and we can start our life over, begin a new career, find a new man, and keep having babies!

Greetings cards are nice to give AND receive.

It's OK to celebrate birthdays when you're an adult. And to keep doing it til the day you die!

It's OK to have soft toys as gifts when you're an adult.

The maximum age to have a baby should be 42. That should be made legal.

There are very few 'accidental' pregnancies' in women over 21.

Anyone who thinks male circumcision is the same as FGM is as thick as mince, and needs to go back to school.

FestiveFruitloop · 04/01/2021 14:52

It is weird not to want anyone else to hold your newborn baby.

For long periods after the birth, sure. But some on here talk about people wanting to hold the baby before mother and baby have had much chance to have bonding time, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say no to that.

GrossePois · 04/01/2021 14:53

@randomer

Dragging a sleeping child from its bed, dressing it and sticking it in childcare for 12 hours is cruel.
But judging from a couple of comments on this thread a damn sight better than the embarrassment of being stay at home parent. 🤔
JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 04/01/2021 14:53

The maximum age to have a baby should be 42. That should be made legal.

What would you do to the women who fell pregnant at 43+? Forced abortion? Arrest? Do men over the age of 42 also break the law when they impregnate someone?

ParlezVousWronglais · 04/01/2021 15:02

A person in their 50s (or older,) cannot just 'start over' and it's not that young. There is nothing wrong with being past middle age, but let's stop pretending it's still young, and we can start our life over, begin a new career, find a new man, and keep having babies!

So what do you suggest people in their 50s who have lost or hate their jobs, or have no relationship do? Just give up, never leave the house and curl up into a ball of despair?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 04/01/2021 15:06

@littlepattilou actually I agree with you on the 12 months. It's very controversial to say that on here though.

NotBehindTheRadiatorPlease · 04/01/2021 15:07

JK Rowling is a vile transphobe.

NotBehindTheRadiatorPlease · 04/01/2021 15:09

It's okay to not want to go travelling or have a high flying career.

TeenyTinyDustinHoffman · 04/01/2021 15:09

What's the issue with older women having children? It's come up a couple of times now.

RunningFromInsanity · 04/01/2021 15:11

Over-feeding a child is just as abusive as under-feeding and Social Services should be involved.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 04/01/2021 15:11

@BatleyTownswomensGuild

That being called a CIS woman is highly offensive. * I'm a woman, a biological female. End of. Dont need your stupid woke terms.*

This. Also being referred to as a 'menstruator' or 'woman who menstruates' is incredibly demeaning.

I don't thanks to my pills. Am I a man now😂 It's ridiculous term
littlepattilou · 04/01/2021 15:30

Exactly. Calling a WOMAN a 'person who menstruates' makes me sick..

Also, what fucks me off is this new bullshit of calling actresses 'ACTORS.' And The Green Party's bullshit 'men and non-men.' Hmm

Why not call actors 'actresses,' and men 'non-women?'

I mean where does it end? Shall we start calling Queen Elizabeth II our KING? Or maybe a non-king? And what about Kate Middleton, shall we call her a DUKE? Shall we call Princess Charlotte a PRINCE? Or just a non-prince? FFS!

surelynotnever · 04/01/2021 15:35

JK Rowling is a vile transphobe

Only if you have reading comprehension challenges.

surelynotnever · 04/01/2021 15:36

But some on here talk about people wanting to hold the baby before mother and baby have had much chance to have bonding time, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say no to that

Its also weird to think someone holding your newborn for a few minutes affects bonding.

froggywentacarolling · 04/01/2021 15:37

The Boob or Bust measuring method is completely useless for smaller women. (Their calculator insists I'm a C cup when I'm so flat chested an AA cup is roomy on me, and my standing, leaning and underbust measurements are the same.)

praepondero · 04/01/2021 15:40

@littlepattilou

I must take exception with couple of things you have posted, sorry.

"Most people (in the western world,) want a daughter. Gender disappointment is always when it's a boy."

Utter rubbish. I'm as 'western' as they come and if I had had a DD I would have been sorely disappointed. Always wanted a son and got very lucky indeed.

Size 14-16 at 5'4" is fat.

praepondero · 04/01/2021 15:46

One is born either male or female; there are very few exceptions to this -hermaphrodites - as a result of genetic abnormalities.

FestiveFruitloop · 04/01/2021 15:49

@surelynotnever

But some on here talk about people wanting to hold the baby before mother and baby have had much chance to have bonding time, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say no to that

Its also weird to think someone holding your newborn for a few minutes affects bonding.

It might not affect bonding per se, but surely a new mother is entitled to want a little time to hold her baby quietly herself before the world descends and starts playing pass the baby parcel?
Otellie · 04/01/2021 15:53

Only if you have reading comprehension challenges.

Yes. People seem to have a huge inability to read what's actually written on the page, they can only see what they think should be there. Hence calling jk a transphobe. Most of them haven't even read her new book yet they think they are an expert on the contents of it. Thick twats.

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