Justified in dumping my unreliable DP?

[hr924]

Asking for perspective as my sister thinks I am being unreasonable. We are both late-20s, been together 2 years, I have one DC and ex-Dp doesn't have any.

These have all occurred over the last couple of months...

1. DP invited me over for the weekend, I got packed and sorted out childcare for DC... which he knew... he then texted me half an hour before I was due to leave telling me to no longer come because his flat mate had invited their guy mates over. (This was during the period we were allowed to mix)

1. DP is now part of my support bubble. There's been a couple of occasions where he is due to come over and will text me at the last minute saying he 'fell asleep' or is 'too tired to come over.' (It's an hours drive from door to door).

1. He was meant to come over for the day last Tuesday, but was uncontactable all day. I texted and tried to call him multiple times to find out what was happening. I get a text message at 7pm saying he was sorry but he'd 'lost track of time, had ended up spending the day with his family and left his phone at home'.

After this latest incident of him being unreliable I broke up with him. He's too unreliable, and it's not fair on me or my DC. I genuinely really look forward to him coming over / me going to his, and I feel really let down every time he does this.

My sister thinks IABU because he is 'only mid-20s and doesn't have DC of his own so doesn't understand responsibility.'

I think even if I didn't have children his behaviour would piss me off!

Sorry, realised I have written 'mid and late 20s'. For clarity, I am 25 and he is 27.

Honestly I'd break up with someone like this, a one off yeah things happen that cannot be avoided but it seems you go through all the trouble for him to be like "oh actually" at the last minute, I wouldn't see a future with a man like this.

YANBU. He sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate arse.

This would piss me off too, regardless of having kids. He's not prioritising you and is ditching you last minute for others. Him arranging to see friends or family is fine. Him arranging to see you then ditching you last minute for his friends or family isn't.

You put up with him longer than I would have! It’s not only unreliable it’s also disrespectful. Good for you!

Definitely would not tolerate this flippant disrespect to my and children's time and feelings.

Nah- next

The truth is that basically he just doesnt care enough OP

My sister thinks IABU because he is 'only mid-20s and doesn't have DC of his own so doesn't understand responsibility

Your sister needs to raise her standards if she thinks this is a reasonable way to be treated. As an adult, I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't understand responsibility. Everything you've mentioned as a one off, maybe. All of it together and that's a fuck no. Regardless of having kids or not

You have done the right thing. Thankfully you were not living under his roof.

You should absolutely ditch him. I’d think that was rude of a 17 year old.

Yanbu. I wouldn’t put up with that.

He's just not that into you.

If he's not learned responsibility by now he never will. You have definitely done the right thing.

Your sister has low standards and you don’t.

He’s an idiot and doesn’t prioritise you. Why on earth would your ds think you should tolerate this? Yanbu and will find someone much better.

@Calmandmeasured1

He's just not that into you.

Yep. You’re essentially a booty call when there is nothing better on offer. Kick him to the curb and find a better man next time.

You're justified to finish a relationship simply because you want to.
Your sister's opinion is entirely irrelevant.

But anyway, his behaviour is not respectful to you

God some women have low standards!!
YANBU of course

I couldnt be doing with being so far down someone's list of priorities

I was with someone like this and he was the one with kids! I tolerated it for 5 months but then I was out. Couldn’t live with the anxiety or inconsideration! He said I was too needy. No, I expect respect for my time. Sounds like you do too so YANBU to ditch the self centred prick with no basic manners

My DS is a teenager and been dating his GF for two years and has behaved a million times better than this idiot, never let her down.

It sounds like it’s all the time not a one off. He just is not that bothered about you if he was he would not have done this.

I sometimes think that women like your sister are part of the problem because men meet and date them and think I can get away with this.

You’ve done absolutely the right thing.

But your sister needs to learn that anyone has the right to end a relationship at any time, for any reason. That reason doesn’t have to be ‘good enough’ to justify the decision. If more women realised this there would be many fewer ‘useless/annoying partner’ posts on this forum.

I'd question how much he is into you. It doesn't sound like you are a high priority for him.

Yes I would too. He's rude. He wouldn't do that to mates as they'd stop inviting him out/over. How can you be too busy to text someone to explain, I cant see you tomo/today?

Being so far down on someone's list isn't good enough surely op?