Justified in dumping my unreliable DP?

[hr924]

Asking for perspective as my sister thinks I am being unreasonable. We are both late-20s, been together 2 years, I have one DC and ex-Dp doesn't have any.

These have all occurred over the last couple of months...

1. DP invited me over for the weekend, I got packed and sorted out childcare for DC... which he knew... he then texted me half an hour before I was due to leave telling me to no longer come because his flat mate had invited their guy mates over. (This was during the period we were allowed to mix)

1. DP is now part of my support bubble. There's been a couple of occasions where he is due to come over and will text me at the last minute saying he 'fell asleep' or is 'too tired to come over.' (It's an hours drive from door to door).

1. He was meant to come over for the day last Tuesday, but was uncontactable all day. I texted and tried to call him multiple times to find out what was happening. I get a text message at 7pm saying he was sorry but he'd 'lost track of time, had ended up spending the day with his family and left his phone at home'.

After this latest incident of him being unreliable I broke up with him. He's too unreliable, and it's not fair on me or my DC. I genuinely really look forward to him coming over / me going to his, and I feel really let down every time he does this.

My sister thinks IABU because he is 'only mid-20s and doesn't have DC of his own so doesn't understand responsibility.'

I think even if I didn't have children his behaviour would piss me off!

Justifiable? Essential more like.

I don't see what relevance age has.
It is rude to cancel on people at short notice for no good reason at any age.
15 or 55 treating others this was isn't on.

He is inconsiderate and unreliable. There's no point in moving forwards with someone like this.

Yanbu, his behaviour is incredibly disrespectful towards you.

You don't have to 'justify' dumping someone that isn't giving you what you need.

He doesn't sound particularly invested, you can do better, your sister seems to have fallen in that pit of excusing men things as though they are a set of dependents rather than grown pergectly cogent adults making their own decisions about how they treat others. I wouldn't join her.

I don't kids and I couldn't be putting up with that BS.

Your sister needs to get better standards.

Your sister has very low standards.

You don't. Keep your standards high.

Pfft kids a side , he is a Mickey taker!

You are doing the right thing 100 percent. Why does your sister want you to be with someone who shows such little respect? e

If you are thoughtless and inconsiderate at 27, you're probably going to stay that way imo.

Your sister is an idiot is she thinks you should put up with that behaviour. He isn't a partner, he adds nothing to your life. Dump him and move on.

He dumps you for a better offer.

And can't even be arsed to lie convincingly.

I don't think he's that interested in you. His excuses are pathetic, you deserve better than this crap x

I'd bet a lot of money that he's seeing other women P.O.. yanbu at all

@LeSangeEstDansLarbre

You’ve done absolutely the right thing.

But your sister needs to learn that anyone has the right to end a relationship at any time, for any reason. That reason doesn’t have to be ‘good enough’ to justify the decision. If more women realised this there would be many fewer ‘useless/annoying partner’ posts on this forum.

Absolutely this! No one should stay in a relationship where they're not happy, no specific reason is needed.

Hi Op
I agree with everybody else here
You are right,
I find your Partner attitude behavior totally disrespectful towards you.
You deserve a lot better than this..!

Don't listen to your sister her standards are very Low in regard of men/relantships

You are not his priority. If a better offer comes his way, he immediately takes it. Not a reliable person, is he? I bet he’s the type to leave all chores/childcare to his partner while he dicks off to the pub.

Don't put up with shitty behaviour.
Cancelling once might be a genuine issue, but if it's a pattern of behaviour, dump away.
He won't change, and you are at a stage where you can walk away without much bother. So do it.

It's nothing to do with his age or not having kids, he's just a waste of space and a waste of your time. Dump him.

It's nothing to do with having children, it's just respectful to not cancel on your partner all the time, or at least let them know what is happening. YANBU at all, your sister sounds like a mug if that's how she let's men treat her.

He’s disrespectful. Make sure he stays dumped.

My sister thinks IABU because he is 'only mid-20s and doesn't have DC of his own so doesn't understand responsibility.'

Well, that's the very reason why he isn't right for you. You need someone who IS responsible.

I don’t understand this mind set. Why do you need to justify breaking ip with someone? What’s wrong with your sister that she thinks you do? You can and should end a relationship for any reason you feel you wish to end it over. Be it the colour of his pants, the way he pronounces the word shit, or because he is flakey.

No one is entitled to a relationship. Why would anyone possibly think they are. Your sister needs to give some thoughts to her boundaries and ask herself why she thinks men are entitled to relationships, irrelevant of how the woman feels.

The question is why does your sister think she needs to defend him and not be on your side? Is she an apologist? She wants to see you have a shit life as you being treated like crap makes her feel superior? To be honest, if it was me, I’d be adopting a policy of doing the opposite of whatever my sister thinks as she clearly wants to sabotage you and doesn’t think you deserve better. She’s a jealous cow to be frank and wants to keep you down. Of course he should be dumped. His behaviour has been disgusting and is unacceptable. You should also block him so he doesn’t get to come crawling back. None of the people in your life think highly of you. Remember that and go out and make new better connections.

I ditched a boyfriend, way back when I was 18 for doing just this, Except he would phone me at the exact time he said he would arrive to tell me he wouldn't be turning up. He was 18 too.

Don't blame you at all - set your boundaries and standards high!

Good God, is your sister a fully signed up Man Apologist?

For a start, you have the right to break up with anyone ANY TIME YOU WANT. For any reason. It's a relationship, it only exists at all if both people want to. She would do welll to learn that, before she makes a career of putting her happiness second to a man smugly getting everything handed to him on a big old selfish plate.

Secondly, yep, an unreliable twat deserves to be dumped. Why the hell should you come second in your own priority list?

Third, you have children. It changes everything. The onus is on HIM to prove that he is good enough for you to let him not only into your life, but to theirs. Because there is a lot at stake.

He sounds an absolute waste of space. But do tell your sister that she's setting herself up to be completely walked all over by selfish twat men unless she gives her head a wobble!

You don't need to have kids to understand responsibility! 🤦