How to react to this...

[BurningRed]

Hi MNers, I need your advice...

I uploaded a photo onto social media over the festive season in which I was wearing a skin coloured outfit.

The amount of comments I’ve had to deal with ‘what the hell are you wearing’ ‘how old are you’ publicly and also via DM’s was astonishing (including a message from a close family member basically telling me I am an embarrassment and need to act my age?!)

Outfit was a nude coloured bodycon dress. Nothing was exposed and there was a lack of skin showing.

It’s got me thinking about how best to respond to this. Should I delete these comments and ignore or challenge head on?

I am early 30’s and in good shape just for further info. Not that this should bloody matter.

Why do people think this is acceptable behaviour?

Did this....actually happen?

You know some weird people. I cant see a single person I know commenting let alone a bunch of them

I dont know anyone who would have a strong reaction to you wearing that either, or the fact you uploaded a picture that you thought was nice. Lots of people do that.

Basically, they are the problem so fuck em.

Some people have weird ideas about what people should/shouldn't wear at any age. My friend's dad told her to 'grow up' the other day after she'd put fake tan on - she's 30!

Looking at older photos people did seem to dress a lot older than their age 'back in the day' - my grandparents look about 20 years older than my parents at the same age now. But then this would only be a passable excuse if the people commenting were over 70 odd - surely most 40-60 year olds aren't dressing in twinset and pearls/flat cap and shirt every day, but are usually dressed in jeans/t shirt, like younger people.

There is absolutely nothing objectionable about the dress you've posted, and I can't imagine people thinking you were naked, even with a quick glance! Even if people didn't think it was suitable for whatever reason I can't begin to understand the rationale that meant they then had the right to tell you that! If I saw a friend wearing an outfit I didn't like I might just think to myself, oh, not a fan of that top/that dress doesn't do much for her - but I would never, never, presume to tell her, because a) it's none of my business and b) it's mean and unnecessary!

Wonder if there's an element of sexism here - can't think that all these people would have commented on a photo of a male with no shirt on on a beach, or wearing an "immature" cartoon t-shirt, as needing to grow up or looking for attention!

I find people are overly fake nice when they comment so I find this quite bizarre.

@SantasBritchesSpelleas

What were your motives for posting the photo?

@SantasBritchesSpelleas the same as anyone else’s? 🙄

You can wear what you want at whatever age you want.
It's as simple as that.
Anyone who has taken time out of their day to say anything negative......well!.... that only reflects on them!

I'd post another picture..... with the caption...
'For my fans.....'

They were rude, even if you weren't in good shape and the dress wasn't flattering. WTF has it got to do with them what you wear?!

I wasn't judging you. I was just saying that if it was your skin color it might come across nude. What you posted looks absolutely fine so I'm not sure what your friends are on about.

Ignore them. They are jealous. Simple as.

@SantasBritchesSpelleas it was a Happy new year post with multiple photographs - from the year. The first photo of the collection was this photo as I was stood, normally, holding a cocktail glass - we spent our NYE making them.

I actually post things on social media and then delete them off my camera roll. So my social media is like a timeline of everything I have done - this is how I use it. I couldn’t care less how many likes I get but I draw the line at negative, bullying comments.

Thank you everyone for agreeing with me. I thought I’d missed something!

Another thing to consider is this - the people commenting like this don't like you. Why are you ' friends' on Facebook with people who don't like you?

Should have told them to go fuck

My teen is constantly telling me that FB is for old people and her peers only really use insta and twitter so it's probably a generational thing with jealousy through into the mix.

If you have a body that good, show it off as long as you have it I say!!

Why do people insist on whinging about FB on MN??

You have the option(s) of...

Not having 5000 'friends'

Limiting who can see it
Limiting what they can see

Deleting your account

It's not compulsory to post every moment of your life on it, you're voluntarily opening your life up to be judged, don't be surprised when you are.

Dress worn and photo uploaded presumably for attention
Does not get the desired comments

Tumbleweed......

I just find the whole thing bizarre. Even if I was naked, it doesn’t give anyone the bloody right to comment

But the very fact you have posted it on two social media platforms indicates you want people to see. Perhaps next time you need to implicitly state the sort of responses you require.

Tbh my first thought reading the OP was that there was something more going on in the photo or with the dress than you’re telling us for it to have provoked that reaction from so many people. Having see the photo of the dress I’m now even more sure there was something else going on in the photo.

@YouBoughtMeAWall

Tbh my first thought reading the OP was that there was something more going on in the photo or with the dress than you’re telling us for it to have provoked that reaction from so many people. Having see the photo of the dress I’m now even more sure there was something else going on in the photo.

Most likely

This is weird. My family & friends might take the piss out of each other's clothing, posing (1 cousin is dreadful for this). The fact so many people have commented is highly unusual.

@BurningRed If you’ve checked the photo for other things that might be causing the reaction, like PPs suggested, and there’s nothing, I’d delete the comments so you don’t see them every year.

Sign of the times?!

But no, not really. It just sounds like you’re overdue a good clean up of your friends list, starting with anyone who commented something mean. For anyone you can’t delete, put them on your acquaintances list so they don’t see much of what you post, and hide them for 30 days so you don’t see what they post either. They’ll start showing up after a month, but not much as they’ve been hidden - it’ll generally work out then that you’ll see any big things they post which get lots of engagement, but not see all their day to day posts.

Reading your updates was it a photo of you smiling in the dress or was it a highlighted reel of you making duck faces & looking faux naked? Absolutely your choice of course you can post what you want but likewise people can respond how they want. Why else would someone tell you to act your age?

I'm not the best judge though as I don't live my life on SM, well except MNs.

i mean look at this innocent snap

How did that happen??

I only wish I could pull that off!!! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the dress, and even if there was wtf does it have to do with them? I sincerely hope that one day we manage to move on from this blatant ageism. You aren’t even bloody old!! Just ignore.

Lol @finkking
Took me a while to realise they weren't naked!