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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put a note through their door anonymously?

275 replies

studychick81 · 02/01/2021 11:04

We live in quite a built up area and have houses around the side and back of us so I am used to noise and know it's to be expected when you choose to live in a semi detached house. I am not one for making complaints about things.

However, the neighbours at the back of us have obviously just got a puppy during lockdown or Christmas and I am becoming increasingly frustrated with what I consider to be very inconsiderate behaviour. I wondered if others would think this is inconsiderate?

Whenever they let their dog in the garden it barks and barks with no attempt from them to correct it/call the dog inside. This is mildly irritating during the day but not too much of a problem. It's when they let it out about 10pm that I find it very inconsiderate. I ve been really tired recently and try to go to bed early to get extra sleep, I am just drifting off around 10pm only to be woken up by the dog barking. I then find it hard to drift back off and can't for some time so there goes my early night! The same in the morning, I am trying to have a nice lie in and the dog starts barking about 7.15 most mornings. I think 10pm is far too late to let your dog out and allow it to bark for a period of time, fortunately it doesn't wake the dcs but bet it does some other peoples. I just want to be able to have an early night sometimes without listening to that.

I am not good with confrontation so was thinking I would just post a polite letter through their door. I know it's tricky to stop a dog barking but they don't seem to make any effort, I don't think they go out with the dog and make no effort to call it back for try to calm it down.

OP posts:
Pr1mr0se · 03/01/2021 19:56

I agree 7am and 10pm are not unreasonable times to let a dog out for it's first/last wee of the day. A bit of barking is normal for dogs, especially a puppy. You may find you hear the dog barking more now as there is less noise generally at the moment due to lockdown etc. The barking will likely reduce as the dog gets used to the routine/ it's own garden/ gets older.

I think an anonymous note is rude and could back fire.

Have you considered ear plugs?

wingsandstrings · 03/01/2021 19:58

@compulsiveliar2019
really? If you had children who were woken at 10pm and then again at 7am every day and were chronically sleep deprived, would you genuinely think it was the accepted price of living in an urban area? Sleep deprivation is used in torture for good reason. Young DC will need more than the 9 hours that exist between 10pm and 7am . . . . without it they will struggle in school, socially and also have health problems.

Usernamerequired · 03/01/2021 19:59

Where i live people phone the dog warden even if there is no genuine issue and they are just doing it out of spite or a personal grudge. I do no recommend going down the council route yet as especially if anonymous it can cause a while cluster fk with them declaring war on anyone who once looked at them the wrong way. A quiet word in their ear may be best

SueDeNimm · 03/01/2021 19:59

@busymomtoone

Cheeks burning as I read this one and praying it isn’t me!! Our dog never used to bark, but since foxes have moved into the area, he barks REALLY loud at last wee ( about 10 pm) and sometimes in the morning (6.45) as well. We always call him back in, but acutely aware there are children nearby and me shouting just adds to the annoyance- so I usually end up hissing : “ come HERE; IN!!” It lasts 1-2 mins and I am mortified ( only sporadically) but not sure of alternative as dog won’t do business on pavements and nearest park a good 10 mins away. Please don’t hate me!!!
Haha laughing at the hissing. I do this too, as I don't want to shout. I usually have to go and actually get the little beast though as she's not letting that fox in. Then spends several hours with her nose glued to the bottom of the back door.
Thewarrenerswife · 03/01/2021 20:02

Totally unacceptable to let dogs bark on and on. We have three dogs, and they all know it’s unacceptable too! When we first moved here we had a neighbour who constantly let two dogs bark and bark and bark. I tried the nice route, then the council and then the not so nice ‘nice’ route, which involved me banging on her door at 1am for 30mins, and asking how she’d enjoyed the experience the next day. The dogs don’t get left in the garden anymore.

Eckhart · 03/01/2021 20:03

@Thewarrenerswife

Totally unacceptable to let dogs bark on and on. We have three dogs, and they all know it’s unacceptable too! When we first moved here we had a neighbour who constantly let two dogs bark and bark and bark. I tried the nice route, then the council and then the not so nice ‘nice’ route, which involved me banging on her door at 1am for 30mins, and asking how she’d enjoyed the experience the next day. The dogs don’t get left in the garden anymore.
OP's given no indication that the barking is incessant though.
compulsiveliar2019 · 03/01/2021 20:04

[quote wingsandstrings]@compulsiveliar2019
really? If you had children who were woken at 10pm and then again at 7am every day and were chronically sleep deprived, would you genuinely think it was the accepted price of living in an urban area? Sleep deprivation is used in torture for good reason. Young DC will need more than the 9 hours that exist between 10pm and 7am . . . . without it they will struggle in school, socially and also have health problems.[/quote]
Yes really! A dog barking for a couple of minutes is hardly going to wake sleeping children. If it does then they need to learn to settle and go back to sleep. It's no worse than car doors slamming or people putting the bins out! Round here we have routinely have cats fighting or foxes making a racket in the middle of the night. It's life deal with it.

Notashandyta · 03/01/2021 20:13

This would drive me crazy.

They should walk their dog first and last thing. I think 7am and 10pm are too early/late to make that much noise. Lots of people sleeping at those times.

My nerves would be mangled waiting for it to start. Why get a dog if you cant be bothered to walk it?

Someonetookmyname · 03/01/2021 20:13

But having a drink in the garden and a laugh at 8pm could do the same. 10pm isn't classed as 'so late at night' by many many people. Most adults aren't asleep by 10pm

Yes but most children ARE asleep by 10pm, and a loud constantly braking dog could wake them.

A loud dog bark is much louder than adults chatting. And who has drinks and a laugh in their garden every single night until 10! Not really a good comparison.

If it’s just the odd bark I think OP should let it go but loud continuous barking is a bit unsociable at 10pm.

Notashandyta · 03/01/2021 20:14

I dont think the op is talking about two minutes of barking here Confused

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 20:15

[quote wingsandstrings]@compulsiveliar2019
really? If you had children who were woken at 10pm and then again at 7am every day and were chronically sleep deprived, would you genuinely think it was the accepted price of living in an urban area? Sleep deprivation is used in torture for good reason. Young DC will need more than the 9 hours that exist between 10pm and 7am . . . . without it they will struggle in school, socially and also have health problems.[/quote]
Chronically sleep deprived Grin

Eckhart · 03/01/2021 20:16

@studychick81

Is the barking for ages or just a few minutes whilst the puppy is let out to go to the toilet?

ERFFER · 03/01/2021 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrbreezeet1 · 03/01/2021 20:20

YANBU
There should be some sort of ordinance that a dog is not allowed to bark continuously like that

Eckhart · 03/01/2021 20:27

@ERFFER

Again, people comparing children to PETS ! They are DOGS! Children playing/laughing /crying is not comparable to an untrained pet!?

🙄

Yes. People are allowed to have DOGS.

And DOGS are allowed to BARK.

In fact PEOPLE who have DOGS may find CHILDREN more annoying than BARKING.

It's all ALLOWED as long as not EXCESSIVE.

Jeez, I don't know why you write like that, it's really tedious.

Teddybear27 · 03/01/2021 20:30

I understand what you mean as we had a similar situation with our neighbours a few years ago and it was annoying as they had a puppy and didn’t really bother with it. Spent all summer with it and left it alone every day to bark and whine. I think the children wanted a puppy and maybe they had not thought things through. Anyway, after six months the dog disappeared so they obviously gave it up for adoption.
I wouldn’t put a note through the door as it just may make things worse, however, I would try some ear plugs. I wear them sometimes and they really help me.. hope you get a solution...

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 20:35

@ERFFER

Again, people comparing children to PETS ! They are DOGS! Children playing/laughing /crying is not comparable to an untrained pet!?

🙄

You're right.

Because no one would ever say 'dont worry hopefully they will get bored and send it back soon. Why don't you call social services?' like on here about that poor dog.

BBOA · 03/01/2021 20:41

Just ask them nicely.....they probably dont realise how annoying or loud it is. I will await your visit !

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/01/2021 20:42

ERFFER my dogs are my fur babies Grin, my kids have grown up and adults.

Insanelysilver · 03/01/2021 20:43

I think it would depend on how long the puppy is barking for. Is it having a little bark at something in the garden or is it a consistent yap like it’s shut out and needs to be let in again.
A puppy doesn’t really need to be outside for more than a few minutes to have a quick sniff around and do it’s business.
If it’s barking because it’s being shut out for ages then that’s unacceptable to neighbours and not fair for the poor puppy to be left outside.

I think if you don’t like confrontation a quiet word
Starting
Could I possibly ask you to try to get the dog in quickly at night as it’s waking me up etc
Is better than an anonymous note, because if they then ask you if you were the one who wrote it,
You either have to lie and say it wasn’t you and you have no problem with the puppy barking or you have to admit it in which case they’ll say why didn’t you just speak to them.

SueDeNimm · 03/01/2021 20:43

@ERFFER

Again, people comparing children to PETS ! They are DOGS! Children playing/laughing /crying is not comparable to an untrained pet!?

🙄

You are 100% right. Because there is NO WAY I would let my dog bark for 8 hours a day two days in a row every day. No comparison at all.
SueDeNimm · 03/01/2021 20:44

Sorry I mean two days in a row every week aka the weekend. Or 4 days in a row if it's Easter.

justanotherneighinparadise · 03/01/2021 20:44

Wax earplugs are your friend.

Otellie · 03/01/2021 20:48

Didn't you say it's like letting your kids out to play after 10?

No. I didnt say that.

lioncitygirl · 03/01/2021 20:55

I mean - send a note but be an adult about it and own it by signing your name - no one likes a keyboard warrior.

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