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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 2 year old for 4 nights when I go away?

126 replies

Slytherin · 01/01/2021 17:02

Potentially (covid allowing) going away in august with friends to a cottage by the sea. It’s a friend’s big birthday and obviously I haven’t seen much of her this year or the others in our friendship group.
I planned to leave my 2 year old with his dad, when I mentioned this to my mum she’s was horrified. I’ve never left him more than one night before...she thought it was wrong that I should be going away without him. I thought this was pretty normal?!
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
bloodyhairy · 01/01/2021 17:44

Go, go, go!!!

bravefox · 01/01/2021 17:46

Tell your mum it's 2021 then start packing!

Caterina99 · 01/01/2021 17:50

Go! I was supposed to go on a holiday with my friends for 4 nights in 2020. Wouldn’t be the first time I’d left my kids (4 and 2 at the time) but definitely the longest length of time. I was so excited!

Of course it was cancelled. And grandparents were so disappointed they didn’t get the kids. Er no I’m the one who’s disappointed here! I told them they could have them for a month to make up for the childcare hell that was 2020. But who knows when that will be!

MaryShelley1818 · 01/01/2021 17:53

Your mother is being ridiculous unless babies dad is neglectful in anyway.
I went away for 4 days to Spain when my DS was 5mths old to celebrate my 40th. I expressed in advance - DS was combi fed anyway and continued when I returned. DH enjoyed time with him all to himself and I had a lovely relaxed break with friends. My DS is the light of my life, I absolutely adore him but I'm not unable to be apart from him for a few days here and there. I also went to Poland for 3nts at the beginning of this year when he just turned two.

Neversleepingever · 01/01/2021 17:53

I personally wouldn't but only because I have anxiety and I wouldn't be able to leave my toddler for that long. But that's in me and it isn't healthy (I am having CBT for it)

If you're happy to, you definitely should. Yes you're a mum. But you're also Slytherin and your wants and needs matter too. I hope you go and I hope you have a blast!!

Farewell2020 · 01/01/2021 17:55

Suggest your mum looks after him then 🤣

Barmyfarmy · 01/01/2021 17:55

Unless your child's Dad is incompetent/unable to care for his child, your mother needs to stfu!

Nohomemadecandles · 01/01/2021 17:56

Go! Your mum's being daft

altiara · 01/01/2021 18:01

It’s normal for some people, not for others.
But definitely agree your DM wouldn’t bat an eyelid if it was the dad going away.

Irre247 · 01/01/2021 18:06

I left my daughter for 4 nights at around 18 months for a work thing. She was fine, I think I missed her more than she missed me!

Enjoy your trip

PiggyPokkyFool · 01/01/2021 18:12

Unless there is some massive drip feed like he is breastfed to sleep every night/his Dad doesn't live with you or has never looked after him alone overnight before I would say go.
I was away on a course for 5 nights leaving DD1 aged 3 and DD2 11 months and DH mamanged perfectly well but he was very hands on and had lots of experience caring for both alone.

Livelifetotheful · 01/01/2021 18:13

Your choice . Personally I wouldn’t choose to because I wouldn’t want to. Books like The Owl Babies are fun and might be good preparation.

DrDavidBanner · 01/01/2021 18:15

Well assuming your partner is a competent father (never can be too sure with MN!) I don't see the issue, enjoy yourself, God knows we've all earned a blow out this year Wine

InMulieribus · 01/01/2021 18:17

Not going to vote either way. I couldn't have done it when mine were that age (I only ever left them overnight in order to have ELCS in hospital with subsequent DC). But I wouldn't judge anyone who has done or would do.

daisypond · 01/01/2021 18:17

Of course it’s fine.

BangingOn · 01/01/2021 18:19

That sounds like a lovely trip and completely reasonable of you to go. I started travelling overseas with work when DS was 18 months old and was away a couple of times a year for up to a week at a time. He was absolutely fine and I had a great time.

HTH1 · 01/01/2021 18:25

I would no way do this (and my eldest is at secondary school!)

HayJkl · 01/01/2021 18:26

OF COURSE you can leave your child with their father!!! You 100% deserve a guilt-free break.

SueEllenMishke · 01/01/2021 18:30

It's completely normal and absolutely fine.
Go for it!

lachy · 01/01/2021 18:36

GO! DH and I both go away independently with our friends, and usually the one at home takes DD on days out.

We do miss her, but we both agree that it's good to get a break from the usual routine and we come back rested and rejuvenated.

Happymum12345 · 01/01/2021 18:46

If you are happy to go away and your dc's dad is happy, then I don't see the problem. My mum would have said the same as yours and I never left my dc at all. Do what makes you happy.

Lulu1919 · 01/01/2021 18:50

Your leaving child which it's dad.....urrmm,,,,,,go ..drink lots of fizz eat lots of chocolate and ENJOY every second !!!

LST · 01/01/2021 18:53

Definitely. My DC have had overnight stays with grandparents since they were tiny. I have never seen it as an issue.

Northernsoullover · 01/01/2021 18:58

I never even missed mine when I went away! They were well cared for and I had a blast Grin

notdaddycool · 01/01/2021 19:18

My wife went back to her home country to see her mum when youngest was 2.5, she was gone 8/9 nights I had a wonderful time. So much easier to get kids out of the house without having to agree where we were going. Was hoping she would have gone again last year...