Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Outside walks and people

455 replies

CharlotteRose90 · 01/01/2021 15:54

No hate please but I’m hoping I’m not the only one.

So me and my mum have been going for walks with the dog and it’s making me so angry what people are doing. Walking so close to us and not keeping distance. We’re both in the vulnerable category and I’ve said so many times to people to move away.

I completely get you don’t have to wear a mask but don’t walk next to or behind people you don’t know. The park we choose today had a massive path and people still did it. I ended up shouting at this woman for standing next to my mum and coughing.

Rant over. I’m hoping I’m not crazy

OP posts:
LimitIsUp · 01/01/2021 20:27

I know its an utterly wicked thing to think, and I will be shot down in flames for this, but just occasionally I think the odd poster might benefit from a good dose of Covid - essentially those who are so gung ho about it and advocate that anyone not in their physical prime should stay indoors. Not enough to kill them off - I'm not a monster Grin, but just debilitating enough to teach them some humility

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 20:30

@BaublesToIt

I agree OP. I have to jog on the road most of the time because even if I’m coming towards people, they would make no attempt whatsoever to move a few steps over to the side or walk single file. ‘Stupid cunt/s’ has became my mantra Grin.

What really pisses me off though are people who won’t pull their dogs in so the lead is across the path so I have to slow down and the dog will try to jump up or sniff me. I mean ffs I don’t want your dogs filthy wet nose on my leggings Angry. I do love running up behind people (especially people with dogs) and shouting excuse me so they jump out of their skin thoughGrin.

Unfortunately people are cunts, period.

I find my dog quite useful because her lead is about 1m long, and nobody should be coming that close anyway. She's a Jack Russell, not a weapon, but people seem to be more willing generally to respect a dog's personal space than a human's. I noticed that even before lockdown.

I do move her if she's obstructing someone's path though.

I do love running up behind people (especially people with dogs) and shouting excuse me so they jump out of their skin though

Surely that's a bit mean, given that you're behind them but just a second ago you weren't? They haven't got eyes in the back of their heads. (I hope. I don't know where you live though?)

FingersCrossedForAllOfUs · 01/01/2021 20:34

@Vintagevixen

The world has officially gone crazy, and this thread is proof!

Vanishingly small chance of getting it outdoors on a walk in the park, even the WHO says that. Even a light google will bring up creditable evidence.

@Vintagevixen - What do they say about some ignorant person standing right next to someone else outdoors coughing inches away? I would say behaving like that is crazy and uncalled for.
MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 20:36

You have to get creative.

For those in central/East London, the streets of the City are surprisingly empty at the moment.

OP, are you anywhere near Manchester's financial district? Bet you could have a quiet walk there.

Round us, less glamorously there's a retail park with Dunelm, Next and Home Bargains (all shut). The closed off car park makes a great place to take DS to practice his scootering.

While the crowds seek out the joys of nature, real solitude is to be found in urban grime.

nuitdesetoiles · 01/01/2021 20:42

There are loads of green spaces in and around MCR, a lot of the parks in Salford are beautiful and a lot quieter and you can do a walk down the Irwell starting at the Lowry hotel, there's hardly anyone around. Walking round the quays near the theatre and war museum v quiet and spacious too. Really wide walkways.

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 20:42

@Vintagevixen

The world has officially gone crazy, and this thread is proof!

Vanishingly small chance of getting it outdoors on a walk in the park, even the WHO says that. Even a light google will bring up creditable evidence.

Vanishingly small chance of getting run over, so I'm sure you cross the road without looking. Vanishingly small chance of winning the lottery, but millions enter. Vanishingly small likelihood of you realising that it's up to each individual to choose where they take their chances. Vanishingly small chance of you getting the point, too.

We're meant to be distancing ourselves 1m+

One of the reasons outdoors is safer is because there is more space

It's not complicated.

Calmandmeasured1 · 01/01/2021 20:45

However my view is that you are highly unlikely to get covid from someone walking beside you.
A woman stood next to OP's mother and coughed. The virus is airborne. That woman could have had Covid. The latest strain is highly transmissable. We are still supposed to be a minimum of 2 metres away from people not in our household. Even that distance is arbitrary. You only have to see how far a smoker's exhaled breath goes when smoking to know that 2 metres is too close anyway.

Vintagevixen · 01/01/2021 20:45

Coughing right next to someone is obviously bad manners even pre Covid.

But it seems to me that worrying about a path in the middle of an outdoor space with other people also in the park - well that way madness lies.

Never mind a good dose of Covid - it is wicked to say but I think some people could do with a dose of common sense.

Goodbye2020Hello2021 · 01/01/2021 20:47

If you know any in the Manchester area feel free to tell me smile

Manchester is a very big place OP!

There are many MANY quiet areas in GM. Whether or not they are within walking/travelling distance of your house I do not know!

MostTacticalNameChange · 01/01/2021 20:47

So many people seem to have either no spatial awareness or are just completely self absorbed and selfish. I'll be walking on my own and still need to step into the gutter/road to let people walking 2/3/4 abreast.

The worst are those who stop with their dog/toddler/phone ahead of you then get moving only when you draw level with them. So you then have to speed walk or stop yourself. It's so awkward and completely avoidable if they just gave a shit about checking their surroundings and waiting 10 seconds for you to pass and get ahead.

Vitaminsss · 01/01/2021 20:48

It’s certainly for the best to skip parks or walking through busy routes if you want to avoid other people. At least until restrictions ease again, as less people would be out.

We just walk through boring streets now. Nothing to admire but at least it’s quiet.

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 20:51

@Vitaminsss

It’s certainly for the best to skip parks or walking through busy routes if you want to avoid other people. At least until restrictions ease again, as less people would be out.

We just walk through boring streets now. Nothing to admire but at least it’s quiet.

Totally misread this and was going to query you with 'WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES SKIPPING MAKE??!!'
ChestnutStuffing · 01/01/2021 20:53

@hoodathunkit

If you’re all that worried about catching something well you should all stay at home.

What a ridiculous thing to suggest during a pandemic when outside exercise is recommended to keep people fit, healthy and out of hospitals.

Not everyone has a car or a garden or a home gym.

Fortunately there is a lot of outside space near me but some people seem unable to take several seconds out of their life to not walk on top of me or others. Why are people so selfish?

I'll do my bit if I can. I always give people lots of space and most people are really lovely and smiley and grateful. Why not give people lots of space if you can?

Occasionally someone will become offended and start shouting that "I haven't got it!" as if I'm avoiding them because I think they'll give me the virus, rather than assuming that either of us could give it to the other, but this is an exception.

One of the problems with this pandemic is that has facilitated the spread of paranoid and persecutory beliefs in previously rational people, as well as a fair bit of selfish, entitled behaviour.

Just give people space if you can. If you can't you can't but why the big deal about being kind, polite and considerate?

Isn't the point that if you are so risk adverse that you are asking other people to stop non-risky activities, then you should stay home.

Being afraid of passing people isn't very reasonable given the evidence. Being older, or having asthma, doesn't change that.

The other option is to just walk by people in the park and get your exercise with very little risk.

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 21:02

So are we just dismissing social distancing of '2m where possible', now, then, despite the current harsh tier levels and the rocketing infection rate? We still think we know better?

saraclara · 01/01/2021 21:03

When I'm out walking in the park, it's the nearest I get to feeling 'normal'. I'm sure many people feel the same. Every other environment feels 'wrong'. I had to go to the opticians in our shopping centre (tier 4) yesterday. It freaked me out. The entire centre felt so weird, and almost scary in how 'wrong' it felt. That 'wrongness' is what keeps us alert and makes us behave differently and cautiously.

But when we go for a walk outside, it's easy (thank God) to forget what's happening to us. That's what makes it so valuable. The park still feels like the park always did. The countryside is unchanged. So (and it's really good for our mental health) our brains switch off a little bit from that high state of alert.
And guess what? We forget that we need to keep well away from others. We forget that we should move when someone comes towards us.

People aren't being obnoxious. They're just, for once, and mercifully, forgetting that they're in the middle of a pandemic. And it's okay, because it's highly unlikely that their actions will cause anyone to catch covid.

BackforGood · 01/01/2021 21:10

Vulnerable or not, you don’t own public parks and pavements. Everyone has to share the space, so you can’t expect everyone else to move out of the way for you all of the time. You’ll have to compromise and actively move out of the way yourself, go at quiet times, wear a decent mask if it makes you feel more protected etc.

This ^
My dSis and dBiL go out for their walks at 7 in the morning, as they need to avoid people. If you are ECV, you do what you have to do to keep yourself safe.

However, YABVVVVU to start shouting at people. In fact, YABU to start speaking to people in close proximity. You are moving from a miniscule risk, that is walking past people in the open air, , to a slight risk by engaging in F2F conversation with people. I mean, it is still tiny, unless you are standing close, having a chat for 15mins or more.

Vintagevixen · 01/01/2021 21:17

@Eckhart

So are we just dismissing social distancing of '2m where possible', now, then, despite the current harsh tier levels and the rocketing infection rate? We still think we know better?
No I don't think anyone has dismissed social distancing. I am very considerate when passing people on paths and ensure my DD is too. I am certainly not refuting the 2M rule.

I just think fear needs to be kept in proportion to the risk.

Every time we walk down the street there is a risk that a reckless or drunk driver might drive off the road and total you - the risk is there however small, but I cant live my life worrying about every small risk out there. I accept it could happen, but probably won't, and get on with living.

Inkpaperstars · 01/01/2021 21:20

Nike I don't think your realise how important it is that people who are older or have chronic illness or disability are able to maintain whatever exercise they can do. It can have a dire effect, fast, if they don't, and can be much more difficult if not impossible to come back from than for another person.

If people are young, fit, healthy and unworried by the virus then they can go somewhere else much more easily, anyway in fact, and they would suffer less from being unable to exercise anyway. You can't put their need to be outside or exercise above that of the 'vulnerable' just because you feel the need to punish the vulnerable for the sacrifices you believe have been made for them.

I strongly believe that it is not as simple as sacrifices being made to protect those most vulnerable to covid. You must be quite idealistic to think politicians would go so far to protect that group! You need to think through what would have happened if the virus had been allowed to spread completley unchecked. Even if severe illness and death among a more vulnerable cohort had not been considered the impact on workplace attendance, customer behaviour, international response, keyworker provision, education, economic activity etc would have been immense, not to mention soaring death and disability from non covid causes.

In addition many 'vulnerable' people can't just stay away to protect the NHS, many of them are the NHS. Remove obese, the over 50s and people with other underlying conditions you would have almost no consultants, a third less GPs, few nurses and support staff. Then remove all those who share a home with someone vulnerable. Repeat for teachers, other keyworkers and the private sector. Many not particularly vulnerable to covid would then be rightly scared to participate in society with help and safety nets so compromised. Never mind all the people you might see as young and fit but who fear being the unlucky minority who become severely ill, or who fear long covid or other unknown long term consequences. Never mind the increasing risk of mutation as cases rise, which may set us back years and change the nature of the vulnerable.

LilMidge01 · 01/01/2021 21:21

@hopeishere

Even pre pandemic I could not bear people bunching behind me when I was out walking. Just fucking overtake.

However my view is that you are highly unlikely to get covid from someone walking beside you.

We should call the scientists and tell them your view! Revolutionary! Turns out we've all been taking precautions for no reason! Woohoo

Sorry I know I'm being sarcastic and snarky but I know people who have died whilst being very cautious and so must have picked it up from someone just walking past them whilst talking loudly/breathing near them or in the supermarket or something. Also, you're analysis is scientifically (as well as anecdotally) completely not true, and even more so with a new more easily transmissable strain. Please just educate yourself on airborne particles, how masks work and how we expel droplets.

Please don't play roulette with other people's lives.

OP, I would also be annoyed. My mum is vulnerable and if someone who just couldnt be bothered to be a bit more careful made her ill.. i don't even want to think about it.

I'm a very regular runner and am purposely giving even wider berths to people than usual, stopping and waiting for them to pass if paths are narrow... its an extremely minor inconvenience. It's really not hard to do.

Inkpaperstars · 01/01/2021 21:23

Oh, and also the 'vulnerable' often have school age children, other caring responsibilites and jobs etc....but tell us again how the economy and opportunities would be booming if they all just stayed locked up.

Eckhart · 01/01/2021 21:24

@Vintagevixen

I see what you're saying, but it's not really a good comparison. You might be being very respectful, and so might I, but it is impossible to walk down the 100m or so of wide-enough pavement where I live (city centre) without having to swerve out of the way of several people who plainly aren't making any effort at all to observe any kind of distancing whatsoever. It's not that there's no room, it's that they don't care, and that's the problem.

TheLette · 01/01/2021 21:26

People seem to have forgotten the handy phrase "excuse me please". I have some sympathy with the OP in that I'm fed up of people nearly crashing into the back of us instead of simply asking us to move out the way. We are fairly slow moving at the moment with a toddler (and up until recently I was heavily pregnant) but do try our best to give way to others behind us. Unfortunately, what with the lack of having our eyes in the back of our heads, we don't always spot people behind us until they are practically on top of us. It's bonkers. I used to have the same problem on public transport when sitting on the aisle seat - the person on the window seat, if wanting to leave, would simply get up and move instead of smiling and saying excuse me.

LilMidge01 · 01/01/2021 21:29

@Vintagevixen

The world has officially gone crazy, and this thread is proof!

Vanishingly small chance of getting it outdoors on a walk in the park, even the WHO says that. Even a light google will bring up creditable evidence.

Yes of course the WHO says that, because what they are talking about is a walk outside where people are keepign their distances and not all on top of each other...that is precisely the OP's point. They should be safe going for a walk outdoors but that is rather undermined when people get very close to you, talk or cough next to you. FACEPALM
Inpersuitofhappiness · 01/01/2021 21:32

Yep a bit annoying, but we can only change what we do.
I won't walk where I did today again.
I had to wear a mask for my 5k walk. Felt like a right lemon, but people feel safe enough to get that close to me. I'm the one that doesn't feel safe so I've gotta change things.

Vintagevixen · 01/01/2021 21:34

Yes I know @LilMidge01 see my post above. I think we are saying the same thing.