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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Outside walks and people

455 replies

CharlotteRose90 · 01/01/2021 15:54

No hate please but I’m hoping I’m not the only one.

So me and my mum have been going for walks with the dog and it’s making me so angry what people are doing. Walking so close to us and not keeping distance. We’re both in the vulnerable category and I’ve said so many times to people to move away.

I completely get you don’t have to wear a mask but don’t walk next to or behind people you don’t know. The park we choose today had a massive path and people still did it. I ended up shouting at this woman for standing next to my mum and coughing.

Rant over. I’m hoping I’m not crazy

OP posts:
Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 01/01/2021 16:19

I'm with the OP on this one.

Too many times to count I have been walking along, see someone coming the other way, moved as far to the edge of the path as possible, and they just walk straight by on the same side of the path as me. If I'm standing to one side as far as possible surely they should do the same and stay on the other side?

I've started saying loudly to my DD when people are approaching "let's just stand to this side and let these people pass" it seems to have the desired effect.

I've not shouted at anyone though. That's a step too far IMO

Bangable · 01/01/2021 16:22

DH and I just get out of people's way on our dogs walks, some people want to walk super fast, some people are running, on bikes, we just move and let them get on with it. Honestly, we don't come across people who get too close as we don't allow this to happen, we initiate the space.

Fairyliz · 01/01/2021 16:22

@RaspberryCoulis

Yet another variation on the regular thread where a poster goes somewhere, complains its busy, and fails to recognise that she is part of the problem.

Yes outdoor spaces are busy because there is fuck all else to do. everything is closed. Everything. And its been a glorious day today. You want the park to yourself? Go at midnight. Or when it's pouring.

And you might want to cut out shouting at people too, it's just rude.

Here here
Milssofadoesntreallyfit · 01/01/2021 16:23

I have always ran outside and have noticed a big increase in people outside walking, especially during lock down/tier 4.
I am on the fence as it is nice to see people out and about getting fresh air and free exercise but I did vote yanbu as most of the time people do watch where they are going and move around each other so they can all enjoy the space. BUT there are a few who don't, it does spoil it and its not hard to just be aware of your surroundings and the people in it.

So providing you are being considerate and making efforts to consider others op then yanbu to expect the same consideration in return.

saraclara · 01/01/2021 16:24

@KatherineJaneway

Everyone has to share the space, so you can’t expect everyone else to move out of the way for you all of the time.

I agree. If you want space, you move out of the way.

Yep. And there is virtually no risk at all to passing someone outdoors. Your mind is going overdrive here.

I give people space when I remember, and if I'm distracted and forget and someone leaps out of the way, I feel bad because I don't want to make anyone anxious. But in reality, outdoors is as safe as it gets, and you need to chill a bit

Imiss2019 · 01/01/2021 16:24

@Bangable

DH and I just get out of people's way on our dogs walks, some people want to walk super fast, some people are running, on bikes, we just move and let them get on with it. Honestly, we don't come across people who get too close as we don't allow this to happen, we initiate the space.
I agree. I just decide I’m going to initiate space if I feel it’s needed rather than hoping others might. Takes the stress right out of it. Some runners/cyclists move but lots don’t so it’s easier to move myself.
SeeYouInAnotherLife · 01/01/2021 16:25

The chances of you catching COVID from someone walking behind you outside are vanishingly small. I get where you’re coming from though - I don’t like it either. Which is why I always end up giving way and moving over in these situations.

thirstyformore · 01/01/2021 16:26

What @MeowMeowLikeACow said. As a runner I try to be as considerate as possible.

Favourite one was when I was running on the pavement towards a couple who were taking up all the space. Out of courtesy I ran onto the road to get round then. And got beeped by a car who had to move ever so slightly out to get round me. Can't win Hmm

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 01/01/2021 16:26

OP I do understand how annoying it is when there are a lot of people around and everyone getting in your way - I used to get pavement rage on a daily basis when I worked in london
But at the moment, everyone needs to get out for their own sanity and are probably not being very considerate.

If you are this worried you should try to find a quieter , less busy place and maybe wear masks.
Sorry, its rubbish , and it sucks for everyone

IcedPurple · 01/01/2021 16:29

YABU

This is typical of those 'Gosh the park was rammed today. People are so selfish!" type posts. You were there too. The other walkers have the same right to use public facilities as you do.

MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 16:30

I don't think you're being unreasonable but I'm afraid I don't recognise the scenario you're describing round about us. In the crowded parks round here, people are only too eager to keep out of each others' way. They either look at you resentfully as if to say, "Why do you have to exist?" or smile apologetically as if they're sorry for existing and inconveniencing you.

But then we have had years of practice pre-Covid of politely ignoring each other and pretending no one else exists when stuck in each other's armpits on the tube. I am deeply suspicious of people who come to close. And it is not without cause... the one person who ever sat right next to me when there were other seats available then tried to grope my leg.

What I would say is that, unless you're both wearing signs on your foreheads, how are strangers supposed to know you're vulnerable? Have you thought about rigging up some kind of hula hoop vest with a 2 meter diameter to force people to keep their distance? The other thing you could do is get there early, close the gate and attach a fake 'Park closed" notice to keep other people away.

enjoyingscience · 01/01/2021 16:31

You shouted at a stranger in the street? That’s never a good sign that you’re in the right, tbh. A fleeting passing contact within two meters outdoors is incredibly low risk, it really isn’t worth ruining your day over with all this anxiety and aggression.

ScribblingPixie · 01/01/2021 16:31

We have our dog on a longer lead at the moment as it automatically keeps people further away from us. We drop down to single file where necessary but the front person holds the dog so she always acts as a barrier.

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/01/2021 16:32

I haven't voted because I don't know if you are reasonable or not. In my area people do move aside, sometimes I move sometimes the other people do. There's a stretch of narrow pavement where you have to judge which person is going to reach a convenient driveway to duck into first. Then the other person smiles and says thank you. No problem.

loulouljh · 01/01/2021 16:33

I think you are being a little crazy. We are almost a year in here. People are entitled to walk. Most people manage to pass each other without a drama. If you are worried I think the onus is on you to go to somewhere isolated so you can have the solitude you need.

mummyoneboy19 · 01/01/2021 16:33

I presume you and your mum were walking side by side, and at a pace slow enough for people to start gathering behind you?

You need to be walking single file and moving aside for quicker people, sorry. And stop shouting at them, because otherwise you’ll likely find covid to be the least of your worries if you yell at the wrong person!

Babyroobs · 01/01/2021 16:35

Yes it's annoying. Huge gangs of people walking around local spots and they get way too close or block the whole path. Same in the supermarket yesterday - people treating a supermarket shops like a family outing, kids with their hands all over things running about, people hugging, people reaching over me . It's impossible to stay safe at all unless you literally stay in at all times.

Happychristmashohoho · 01/01/2021 16:36

@Ohdoleavemealone

I find the same. We are a family of four and when people are approaching we go single file to allow room to pass. Most people approaching still walk side by side meaning they are often passing pretty close.

I don't worry about it as even if they have it, they aren't going to pass it by walking past me in an opwn space, butit does mean we don't loiter in any one place for too long.

Same here! It is irritating, I’ve never worried about it, but do wonder if I should especially in view of the new strain!
ghostmous3 · 01/01/2021 16:36

If people are bunching up behind you,
you're obviously walking slower than them. Step aside and let them past. Not difficult

Exactly. It's a bit difficult to overtake on a narrow path and someone is walking slow so if you notice then step aside yourself

Actually we did this today for a young lady and her dog. We were obviously walking too slow and she was too polite to say so, so I said to DP and dd1, lets move aside so this young lady can pass us and she did, thanked us and apologised (bless her) and power walked her way past and up the path.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/01/2021 16:40

It's really difficult for any of us to know whether it's them or you op, as we weren't there.
My experience is that I go walking or running daily, pass hundreds of people, (some who I move for, some who move for me); but have had no one pass me anywhere near close enough to pass on covid. I have had people completely exaggerate how much space they need though, which I don't judge, because some people are really scared by this.
I think if you're more conscious than others, which seems to be the case, the onus is on you to make sure you get the space you require.

ChickenyChick · 01/01/2021 16:41

yes to this:

RaspberryCoulis

Yet another variation on the regular thread where a poster goes somewhere, complains its busy, and fails to recognise that she is part of the problem.

Yes outdoor spaces are busy because there is fuck all else to do. everything is closed. Everything. And its been a glorious day today. You want the park to yourself? Go at midnight. Or when it's pouring.

And you might want to cut out shouting at people too, it's just rude.

canonlydoblue · 01/01/2021 16:41

Then you stay home. Or you go somewhere deserted. Don´t be that person...

MessAllOver · 01/01/2021 16:41

Have you thought about going for walks on deserted industrial estates rather than in parks? I had to pick up some plumbing parts the other day and DS and I had the whole place to ourselves. He had a lovely runabout next to some disused silos.

KatieGGGG · 01/01/2021 16:41

I don’t have this problem because when someone is closer than my liking I get out their way. Have you tried that?

You’re walking slow enough people bunch up behind you, while expecting everyone to adhere to an invisible bubble around you and your mum walking together, and then shout at people in public? Yes a little crazy.

nosswith · 01/01/2021 16:42

OP you must be someone with a gentle well mannered dog. You would not have the problem with a Staffie!