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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People staring....why?

88 replies

DilemmaADay · 01/01/2021 15:52

Today DP and I went to get a McDonalds, and the carpark was full so had to park at the hotel next door where loads of people were doing the same.

Afterwards, I reversed out the carpark slowly due to the ice and drove out slowly looking for the exit. The whole time this was happening, a couple in a nearby car to the exit were staring at us. Not just casually watching, as in windows down, eyes following us, mouths pretty much hanging open to the point I almost stopped the car to get out and check something wasnt amiss. DP and I arent confrontational people, but we did stare back incase they were trying to tell us something. No, they said something to each other and carried on staring.

Now this made me feel a bit paranoid, that something was wrong with the car or my driving. DP wasnt bothered but I just thought it was plain rude.

Does anyone else feel unnerved when things like this happen or does anyone who is a 'stare-er' know why they do it?

OP posts:
Betsyboo87 · 01/01/2021 16:27

Oh gosh I know it drives me crazy too. I live abroad and people here are terrible for it. Pre covid I’d get the bus to work and most days I’d be paranoid I had something on my face due to the level of staring.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/01/2021 16:28

Were you driving like 1mph and looking around, turning your head and being leaned forward on a steering wheel (if you know the pose I mean)? Because that would make me stare too🙈

raspberryk · 01/01/2021 16:29

I imagine it was your incompetent appearing driving? If you were being so careful and slow and looked like you didn’t know where the exit was they were probably wondering what the hell you were up to, to be honest.

Nohomemadecandles · 01/01/2021 16:30

I stare but I don't usually see what I'm staring at. I'm just "off" for a few moments. My husband stops me if he sees me doing it!

CakeRequired · 01/01/2021 16:32

Probably thought you should have been reversing faster and driving faster. Dunno why if it was icy, going faster usually just ends in a crash on ice, but meh some people are daft.

Have to admit, once a friend and I were staring at someone in a car park, attempting to park her massive car and then attempt to leave. But she was making a massive cock up of it and almost hit the car beside her several times, I was keeping an eye on what she was doing incase she hit something else and just drove off. If she noticed that, she probably wondered why we were staring. It was because she clearly couldn't drive.

SnoozyBoozy · 01/01/2021 16:36

Are you overweight? (No judgement from me, I am and I occasionally eat Macdonald's too) but I've noticed if I do ever eat anything vaguely unhealthy in public, I get stares sometimes, as if someone staring at me is going to be the thing that makes me say 'gosh, I feel so ashamed, perhaps I shouldn't be eating this after all' Hmm

If not, I would just assume you give off a heavenly aura and they were just entranced.

Plussizejumpsuit · 01/01/2021 16:37

Meh I don't know some people are just really rude. Maybe the thought you should be reversing faster. But if it was me I wouldn't give a shit. Not going to do something I think is dangerous just to please a stranger.

DeciduousPerennial · 01/01/2021 16:38

Did you leave McDonald’s on your roof?

CoronaIsWatching · 01/01/2021 16:39

This happens to me if I'm stood waiting for a bus, the driver of each car that goes past stares at me and moves there head to carry on staring at me as they drive past. Young, old, male, female they all do it, as if they've never seen someone stood at a bus stop before

Somethingkindaoooo · 01/01/2021 16:42

" hey, Bob, is that our old car...? Have a look at the number plate..... you know, Susan, I think you're right? I wonder if they got the suspension issue sorted"

"Susan, are those our old neighbours? The ones from our London Road flat? "

" Bob, is that the asshole who rear ended you that time?"

" Dammit Susan, they got the Big Tasty! I told you it was back. Why is the menu writing so small, we have to park too far away to see it, they were rushing me for the order..... now I'm stuck with the quarter pounder with cheese......."

Lots of reasons why they could have been staring
🙂

ViciousJackdaw · 01/01/2021 16:43

I always wave at starers. In your situation, I would have put the window down and told them the show was over.

Original poster
DilemmaADay · 01/01/2021 16:47

@raspberryk Ah that must be it then! I'll make sure to reverse quicker when its icy and leave through the entrance, wouldnt want to appear incompetant Grin I agree @Plussizejumpsuit

@DeciduousPerennial no McDonalds on the roof, and we didnt litter. Dp couldn't see a bin through the window so we didnt leave the car and took the rubbish home.

@CoronaIsWatching how strange! That must be really annoying. Is the bus stop near something like a pub/main turning etc. They might be looking at that.

@SnoozyBoozy no, me and dp are both on the very slim size of average Smile

OP posts:
formerbabe · 01/01/2021 16:56

People are odd

Weird story for you.

Many years ago i was walking from my office to the train station. I was dressed in black trousers, black shoes, and a plain top. Couldn't have been more average...average weight, average height, nothing especially distinctive or interesting. I'm not hideously ugly or incredibly beautiful.

Walking in front of me were too hugely obese goths...nothing wrong with that by the way, just pointing out that it was a slightly more unusual sight than me. Another couple walking towards me and the goths didn't even glance at the goths yet looked me up and down and stared at me like I was an alien who had just landed from outer space...it was the weirdest thing ever.

StephenBelafonte · 01/01/2021 16:58

YANBU it's fucking rude it's the first thing I noticed when I moved from London out into a small town and it still annoys me 25 years later.

NomNomNominativeDeterminism · 01/01/2021 17:04

Are you Bev and Kev?

blueluce85 · 01/01/2021 17:11

Do you have an electric car? I do and people stare all the time when I drive past!!

Robbybobtail · 01/01/2021 17:15

Are you one of those botoxed/contoured types? I always find myself staring at people with obvious surgery or pumped up faces - I don’t mean to, it just always looks a bit strange to me but I know lots of people seem to love this look!

Also, when I was younger I used to feel people staring at me often and didn’t know why. Now when I look back at photos I realise it was coz I was bloody gorgeous! (Oh, to be in my 20’s-30’s again)...

Someone1987 · 01/01/2021 17:16

I hate it when this happens! I'm a self conscious person as it is. It's especially bad now I have a baby, I can feel eyes on me a lot more than previously. It's horrible.

sausageathlete · 01/01/2021 17:16

They were probably watching to see if you crashed your car.

RasherOfWind · 01/01/2021 17:19

It's likely they thought you were a friend / family member / former neighbour they hadn't seen in ages and they were trying to work out if it was actually them or not. If you had have been them, you would have recognised them and waved or something, but you weren't and so you didn't and that confused them.

Either that, or they thought you were someone off the telly.

I once spent a whole job interview staring at the interviewer's cleavage. I wasn't actually seeing it, I was trying to think of answers to the questions.

I didn't get the job. Grin

Gingerwhinger0 · 01/01/2021 17:31

Some people have low entertainment threshold. I once had a man approach me and my car in a petrol station, pointing and laughing hysterically at my car window Confused turns out source of hilarity was an old pay and display ticket for parking.
Don't under estimate how dull some peoples lives are that they have to resort to staring at you reversing a car.

Original poster
DilemmaADay · 01/01/2021 17:37

@Gingerwhinger0 that made me laugh out loud 😆 how bizarre

@robbybobtail - no not in the slightest, we had just been on a walk so I didnt even have makeup on

OP posts:
81Byerley · 01/01/2021 17:40

Maybe they thought they knew you, and were trying to decide? I followed a lady around the supermarket once, because from the back she looked like my late Mum.

MixMatch · 01/01/2021 17:45

@DamnShesaSexyChick

I don’t know why people are making silly excuses for them, I hate people who stare. When I went for my covid test the couple in the next car stared at me the entire time with their mouths hanging open, I really didn’t feel well and when my test was finished I turned to them and shouted stop fucking staring at me.
GrinGrin
Livelovebehappy · 01/01/2021 17:48

Maybe you hit a car as you reversed out, or appeared to them to hi5 a car. Just thinking that if people do something wrong, they generally look to see if someone is looking, like you seemed to do. Unless I was looking to see if anyone was watching us, I doubt I’d notice if people were staring tbh.

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