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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People staring....why?

88 replies

DilemmaADay · 01/01/2021 15:52

Today DP and I went to get a McDonalds, and the carpark was full so had to park at the hotel next door where loads of people were doing the same.

Afterwards, I reversed out the carpark slowly due to the ice and drove out slowly looking for the exit. The whole time this was happening, a couple in a nearby car to the exit were staring at us. Not just casually watching, as in windows down, eyes following us, mouths pretty much hanging open to the point I almost stopped the car to get out and check something wasnt amiss. DP and I arent confrontational people, but we did stare back incase they were trying to tell us something. No, they said something to each other and carried on staring.

Now this made me feel a bit paranoid, that something was wrong with the car or my driving. DP wasnt bothered but I just thought it was plain rude.

Does anyone else feel unnerved when things like this happen or does anyone who is a 'stare-er' know why they do it?

OP posts:
DumplingsAndStew · 01/01/2021 17:48

@DilemmaADay

no, me and dp are both on the very slim size of average

Then they were wondering how you manage to stay so teeny tiny and eat McDonalds.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 01/01/2021 17:57

Maybe they are looking at the car/considering getting the same?

Coconuttts · 01/01/2021 18:03

My parents stare at people all the time. If I am ever out with them, it's mortifying. They've always been horrendously nosey!

SarahBellam · 01/01/2021 18:04

Just tell yourself it’s because you and your DH are absolutely gorgeous. Smile and wave. Smile and wave.

B3ckiRainbow · 01/01/2021 18:08

Probably just morons.... lots of them about!

ScrambledSmegs · 01/01/2021 18:16

My DDad is regularly surprised by women driving cars. This is despite the fact that all the adult women in his family are competent drivers, and have been for years.

Probably something like that, OP.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 01/01/2021 18:17

@DamnShesaSexyChick

I don’t know why people are making silly excuses for them, I hate people who stare. When I went for my covid test the couple in the next car stared at me the entire time with their mouths hanging open, I really didn’t feel well and when my test was finished I turned to them and shouted stop fucking staring at me.
If they hadn't had a test before, they were watching to see what it was like, whether it was painful as has been said in the media, how ill you looked in case they hadn't seen anybody with obvious symptoms before, etc. And when you're sitting in a car, looking out the windscreen is exactly what you normally do.

It would have been unreasonable to expect them to deliberately look out of the side windows and adjust their hairstyles as though they were a couple of cats pretending they weren't really planning to jump on a catnip mouse, after all.

Mind you, when my mind is elsewhere, I don't see what is in front of me - you think I'm staring at you? Huh? Didn't even see you - there's a couple of very fat looking squirrels in the Birch tree 30 yards behind you and a Robin on the fence. Or the kid in front of me is completely inconsequential - I'm wondering what is going on with Andrew, Liam and Emmanuel at the other end of the playground, though, as I have a feeling they're up to something (that's the years in the job, though).

I reckon the couple were watching to see whether there was an accident due to ice and the distraction of the takeaway whilst they had theirs safely sitting in the car. Or they liked the OP's car/were seeing how well it manoeuvred in the condition. If they were actually staring rather than looking at something that happened to be in their line of sight.

Escourtie · 01/01/2021 18:19

you must have been staring at them to know they were staring at you is something one of my collegues always says when i say did you see that person staring too which i always reply Im sure its because im so gorgeous they have never seen such beauty im not but it makes us giggle maybe its coz your as gorgeous

unless they saw you get in your car and in their opition car u drive is supposidly too big for a female and wanted too see you attempting too drive it before Hubby took over Grin

littleloopylou · 01/01/2021 18:22

@DamnShesaSexyChick Jesus that's crazy (your behaviour). Sometimes people just zone out or there is another reason for the apparent stare.

A few months ago, some lady jaywalked farther down a junction from me and I saw a car coming toward her/us. I was watching the car behind her, wondering if she would hurry tf up and generally waiting for it to pass.

The lady assumed I was staring at her and she screamed at me to stop fucking staring. It was extremely psychotic, aggressive, and completely unwarranted on her part. She was just an object in my way

MrsSpenserGregson · 01/01/2021 18:36

They were probably undercover police officers

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/01/2021 18:37

Not only it's now more acceptable to fat in oublic rather than sneeze or cough, it's now also not acceptable to look in a direction of people. Heads down and maks up😁

It's actually possible you were the weirdoes btw. That they were looking at something which was your direction, saw your DH stare at them, stared back and said to each other "the fuck is he staring at" as you were passing.

Pumpkinpied · 01/01/2021 18:38

I’m not into style and fashion and don’t wear makeup so probably look a bit of a scruff most of the time, especially as I spend most of my time gardening, crafting, etc. but I do drive a fairly expensive car (not a humble brag.) I’ve seen lots of people stare. I assume they think I’m the hired help or I’ve borrowed it.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 01/01/2021 18:40

When I'm after a new car I think it probably look like I'm staring at the driver but really I'm looking at the car.

AlwaysLatte · 01/01/2021 18:44

Some people are just odd. They probably park there for their own entertainment. I usually do a huge smile and wave.

Nohomemadecandles · 01/01/2021 18:47

Maybe they were the MN covid police assessing whether your journey was indeed essential - there was another looking in your fridge to see if you could have put cheese in your coffee after all.

Mif4 · 01/01/2021 18:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

1forAll74 · 01/01/2021 19:16

Maybe the staring couple were so bored being together, or had had an argument, and there was nothing more for them to do.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 01/01/2021 19:22

Some people have low entertainment threshold. I once had a man approach me and my car in a petrol station, pointing and laughing hysterically at my car window confused turns out source of hilarity was an old pay and display ticket for parking.

He might have had ASD. Or he could just have been a weirdo who needs a hobby.

Some people do naturally have a gormless, stare-y look about them, even if they aren't actively doing it. There's a family on Gogglebox with a mum, dad and adult son and the two men (unintentionally, I'm sure) have that look down to a T.

QueenofBrickdon · 01/01/2021 19:22

I was going to ask if it was an electric car too.

We have one and are always getting stared at!

Gingerwhinger0 · 01/01/2021 19:32

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll.
There’s any number of reasons. I’m not a medical expert, so not in position to diagnose anyone.
No one was harmed by the incident, he was having a great time I politely acknowledged him got in my car and drove home. Just a strange encounter.

Fizzydrinks123 · 01/01/2021 19:35

I usually enthusiastically smile and wave at them in that situation. Or gesticulate with shoulders/hands as to what's the problem?

Quite often the person doesn't realise they're doing it and wave back in shock or say "nothing" but at least you know whether there is actually something happening or just rude gawpers.

It seems some people think they're invisible and can just stare - those ones generally look mortified to be confronted and start looking in their bag or something.

Elouera · 01/01/2021 19:37

I can only think they may not have seen the ice and wondered why you were driving so slow? Were they worried you might hit them? If you were clearly not sure where the exit was, and driving so slowly, maybe they thought you were just learning to drive?

I dropped a friend off once and at the next lights, had a group of teens staring at me. One waved and kept saying 'yellow, yellow'. I stared back giving them evils, thinking they were mad, playing a joke or maybe there was mud on my car. I kept driving and when I got home realised I had a pillow stuck in the door and dragging along the road. A pillow, not yellow!!!

Emmylou292 · 01/01/2021 19:47

This reminds me of when we were in a traffic jam, and the car along side us had a woman who was just sat staring. Every time I looked at her she was still staring. I didn't have a clue who was but decided to look as though I'd just realised I knew her! I started waving and smiling. She looked embarrassed and didn't look me in the eye again.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 01/01/2021 19:53

Driving a Lamborghini countach? I'd stare at one of those being used on a fast food run.

Actually, I'd stare at any vaguely interesting car. I routinely gawp at electric ones when they overtake my horse - they're so quiet. I probably need to get out more...

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/01/2021 19:55

There is a car driving around here which has the most beautiful shade of teal. I stare at that. And I am nota shamed. And every time we pass it I say the same thing to DH "omg how pretty" and he nods. It's a tradition now basically 😂

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