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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that the majority of people on here are middle class and high earners?

393 replies

Kaylasmum49 · 01/01/2021 13:51

Just curious.

OP posts:
finkking · 02/01/2021 15:39

Yet on mn the common theme is we're rich but no one knows, we still live like scruffs, never heat the house, drive a falling to bits car etc etc.

OMG yes only on MNs do I ever see the "we have 10k a month but invest 8k of it". And so many posters are like this.

finkking · 02/01/2021 15:41

E.g. we have 7k coming in per month after pensions/taxes but - but 5k goes straight out on mortgage, childcare, commuting. What does that make us?

Victims of inter generational inequality because clearly a lot is going on mortgage/childcare. At least the childcare will reduce though.

finkking · 02/01/2021 15:45

Isn't 40k average ish for London so a couple could bring in 5k

finkking · 02/01/2021 15:47

Someone earning £100k in London probably lives in accommodation that is worse in quality and size than someone who earns half of that in the north.

This is very dependent on age.

Ginfordinner · 02/01/2021 15:49

We probably have a similar amount of disposable income as the higher earners because we are old, even though our annual income is a lot less than £50k. We are mortgage free, have no commuting costs now we both work from home, we had solar panels installed when the feed in tariff was 45p a unit and spend very little on utilities as a result, can't spend our maoney on much because everything is closed, I spend less on clothes because I WFH and I'm not buying any make up. Our biggest expense is student DD's rent.

marriednotdead · 02/01/2021 15:51

I'm one of the non existent forum users that nobody could say is even an average earner, my take home pay is less than many people's deductions. I can manage on it though.
Does that dilute the statistics a little? Wink

PattyPan · 02/01/2021 15:59

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer I work in the public sector (very similar to civil service) and our standard is 35 hours with core hours of 10-4. So I generally work 8-4, others in my team prefer 10-6. They’re big on being an inclusive workplace so are keen to offer that flexibility (although if we want to reduce hours it has to be whole or half days, I couldn’t go down to 8-3 for example). I’m sure other areas of the government are also like this so it’s not that unlikely that people wouldn’t have to work 9-6. Even my friends in hedge funds are only expected to do 9-7!

Ginfordinner · 02/01/2021 15:59

I don't even earn enough to pay tax @marriednotdead Grin

marriednotdead · 02/01/2021 16:06

@Ginfordinner

I don't even earn enough to pay tax *@marriednotdead* Grin
@Ginfordinner trust me, I don't pay very much!

I live in London and could never afford one of those pesky mortgages either...

SallyMcNally · 02/01/2021 16:13

I suspect that people who live in other parts of the country just don't see how much money gets eaten up by living in London.

I moved to London from a midlands city 8 years ago for a 10k pay rise which I thought would be great.

My rent went up from £450 pcm for a two bed flat, on my own, walking distance to work to £730 for a room in a shared flat in zone 2 (there are arguments for living further out but money saved on rent is pretty much eaten up by higher commuting costs). There was no way I could afford to live within walking distance of work. I sold my car which saved about £150 a month but spent the same on a railcard, higher council tax etc. Cost of food was much higher as had limited choice of small supermarkets in walking distance rather than being able to drive to a superstore.

So having gone from a wage of £24k to £34k, which actually only increased take home pay by about £400pcm once increased tax, student loan payments etc are taken into account, I found that all of that pay rise was eaten up with increased living/commuting costs and I was in a much worse financial position than I was before.

The thing is it has probably paid off as my friends who stayed behind have struggled to get promoted much above the 30k level as there just aren't the opportunities whereas I have jumped positions a couple of times and am now on 50k.

The relative positions are difficult to judge though. My old work colleagues in the midlands all own properties in decent parts of town either in couples or alone. No one can afford private school and I know they struggle with childcare costs etc but they live in nice houses with gardens in good parts of town. Or if they are single without kids they live in nice city centre apartments. I couldn't afford to borrow enough alone to get more that a studio/titchy one bed miles from work.

Having a partner has made a huge difference. We have a very good joint income of 100k+ we live very well and are incredibly lucky. We still can't afford a 3 bed house with a garden in an area with good schools though which is a bit incredible to me as we are the 2%. It seems mad.

Of course we are still immensely privileged compared to people living and working on nmw, there is absolutely no comparison. But I do think that you probably have to earn 20% more in London to have a similar lifestyle to people living where housing costs are cheaper and I think that skews people's perceptions of what a high salary is.

cabbageking · 02/01/2021 16:33

I think people exaggerate their life styles, income and occupations.

Starseeking · 02/01/2021 16:43

@cabbageking

I think people exaggerate their life styles, income and occupations.

What do you think people would do that on an anonymous forum?

Newmoney · 02/01/2021 16:47

  • People growing up very wealthy with no idea of how poor people struggle is one thing but anyone saying 'I've pulled myself out of that but don't want any of the benefits I'll still act poor' is something that I've never seen in rl. Why would you? What's the point then in a bigger income and possibly more stressful job. Yet on mn the common theme is we're rich but no one knows, we still live like scruffs, never heat the house, drive a falling to bits car etc etc.*

@Zenithbear

Grin I actually do heat my home very well when it’s cold and love being able to do so without worrying about the cost. Equally I’m spending more on the weekly shop without worrying about prices. The ability to do this and to spend on the small things without a thought or worry do bring me real pleasure, and I’m very grateful to be in such a position. Personally I wouldn’t call these things a lifestyle change.

On the other hand, I like my home and I’m happy with my life and current lifestyle so I don’t feel like I need to rush to upscale my life. Although once covid is over I’m really looking forward to nice holidays, that’s the only thing that I feel I’ve missed out on a bit.

I hope I never become the type of person who can’t take pleasure in the small things in life just because I have a high salary and I hope to raise my DC to be the same.

AnneElliott · 02/01/2021 16:48

I do think MN is skewed towards the middle classes. I live a mudslide class lifestyle I guess now (and DS is probably middle class) but I'm proud of my working class roots and wouldn't want to forget what it's like to struggle for money etc.

I do think there's some snobbery on here but what I see more of is the middle class posters being (unintentionally) patronising and paternalistic towards those on low incomes/ living in not great areas. And that annoys me!

And yes anyone who suggests £100k income isn't a large one definitely lives in a bubble. I hope I never get to the situation where I forget where I came from and say anything of the sort (even on an anonymous forum).

But I agree that girls need to be aware that there are occupations which can get you a solid salary and financial independence.

unmarkedbythat · 02/01/2021 17:01

What do you think people would do that on an anonymous forum?

People troll this and other forums day in, day out. Pretending you are very rich and important is just another form of trolling. There are MNers who post photos of luxury hotel bedrooms or mansions and pretend the images are of their own home. Goodness knows why, but people do.

finkking · 02/01/2021 17:05

I hope I never become the type of person who can’t take pleasure in the small things in life just because I have a high salary and I hope to raise my DC to be the same.

Was the poster inferring that? I mean you can be a billionaire but that feeling when you sneeze after needing too? priceless! 😁
I just think it's odd to save 90% of your salary & deprive yourself of things. If 10% of your salary is 5k plus & you spend it that's fine as you are not depriving yourself.

Starseeking · 02/01/2021 17:25

@unmarkedbythat

What do you think people would do that on an anonymous forum?

People troll this and other forums day in, day out. Pretending you are very rich and important is just another form of trolling. There are MNers who post photos of luxury hotel bedrooms or mansions and pretend the images are of their own home. Goodness knows why, but people do.

Does that mean the majority of posters do this? I can't wrap my head around the disbelief that ALWAYS appears from many posters whenever there is a high earners thread on MN and women say they earn 6 figures. I'm one of them, so I expect there are many on this board who are the same.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 02/01/2021 17:59

There are MNers who post photos of luxury hotel bedrooms or mansions and pretend the images are of their own home.

Now you come to mention it I saw the hotel bedroom thread unfold. Quite entertaining it was, too. I can sort of understand the 'troll having a laugh at others' expense' position far more than the 'I'm an anonymous screen name and I must convince people I'm rich and successful' stance. I'd assumed it was the former. Who the hell cares about impressing a bunch of fonts?

SladeySide · 02/01/2021 18:07

What is unbelievable about women earning six figures on their own or choosing to spend that money differently than others might? There are whole sectors in which starting salaries are close to that. And I probably would seem to live like a scruff to many here, with an old, decidedly unglamorous car, a combined “style and beauty” budget of a couple hundred pounds a year, and no foreign holidays since I was in my twenties.

I have used the money I save from being scruffy on a hopefully fifty-year-long retirement in a very peaceful, rural location. Not sure what’s unbelievable about that.

finkking · 02/01/2021 18:43

There was a poster who bragged a lot beanie baby?

finkking · 02/01/2021 18:50

I've also seen posters trip themselves when talking about 100k plus salaries & tax free childcare or the monthly outcome is way out because they haven't allowed for the correct tax.
Similarly I think that's where misconceptions come from when posters don't understand why someone on say 110k isn't taking home double then they are eg I'm on 55k which is 3.3k so 110k would be 6.7k.

Janegrey333 · 02/01/2021 19:38

Who the hell cares about impressing a bunch of fonts?

😆👏🏻

Janegrey333 · 02/01/2021 19:42

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

There are MNers who post photos of luxury hotel bedrooms or mansions and pretend the images are of their own home.

Now you come to mention it I saw the hotel bedroom thread unfold. Quite entertaining it was, too. I can sort of understand the 'troll having a laugh at others' expense' position far more than the 'I'm an anonymous screen name and I must convince people I'm rich and successful' stance. I'd assumed it was the former. Who the hell cares about impressing a bunch of fonts?

Conversely, I was reading a thread where people had been invited to post a photograph of their bedroom. One posted a hotel bedroom. Someone has used Mr Google which is not that difficult to do. Lol
Janegrey333 · 02/01/2021 19:42

...had used...

froggydoggy · 02/01/2021 22:48

This is hilarious, so you're saying that no one who earns over £100k exists on Mumsnet despite it being primarily aimed at the middle classes?

In actual fact it's quite sad that most people consider these salaries to be so far from their realities that the only conclusion is disbelief.