AIBU to think that the majority of people on here are middle class and high earners?

[Kaylasmum49]

Just curious.

I imagine you can get stuck in your bubble easily in some circs

This is so true and something that concerns me. I’m very fortunate and know very few people who are in a different position to me. It’s one of the reasons I really appreciate MN: it has opened my eyes to all sorts of circumstances which I wouldn’t otherwise have had understanding of.

I see your gosh (which I do use sometimes in real life) and raise you golly (which I don’t think I’ve ever used.

In fact I’ve just used the search function for the word gosh and it’s brought up hundreds of posts

Golly gosh, Heron

Great ormond street hospital GOSH will account for some surely??
There may be a few from me 😂😬

On another thread a couple of posters expressed surprise that said that I didn't know anyone on a 6 figure salary.

The area I live in and the industry I work in is so far removed from those figures. Average wages round here are £26k.

@WashingMachineCrisis

Take a look at the number of people who say “Gosh” on here. I hardly ever see the word outside of MN yet it’s ubiquitous on this forum. I would take a guess that the people who use it are trying to keep up with Jones somewhat and it’s a small indicator of the type of attitude that’s very common on here.

Gosh!

It’s habitually used sarcastically, eg ‘Gosh, how funny that you don’t know anyone on a six-figure salary. What deprivation! ’

I love the money threads on here.
How much do you earn?
Half of the answers are how much their high income niche job Dh earns, but he only works 8 hours a day, 4 days a week. The three very high earners I know sacrifice family life for those incomes.
Our household income is average, our savings and investments are where our money is but that's partly our age - early 50s.
On here people define wealth = salary some of which I suspect are made up.
In real life wealth is made up from several different streams - salary, property, shares, savings, assets, investments, pensions, inheritance, winnings, etc.

On another thread a couple of posters expressed surprise that said that I didn't know anyone on a 6 figure salary

I’ve seen similar threads where people have expressed surprise that posters don’t accept those people exist.

Obviously some people might not know anyone directly, but people surely understand that lots of people earn that. Even in your area there is likely a head teacher, supermarket manager, GP that earns more or less that.

And at the risk of getting slated I know very very few people directly who earn much less, but of course I know they exist. They’re just outside my bubble. And I totally accept it is a bubble.

Take a look at the number of people who say “Gosh” on here. I hardly ever see the word outside of MN

maybe you haven't got young kids, I hear it a lot, presumed it was another one to avoid swearing in front of kids? There's strictly nothing class-related with this word!

@NaturesEnd

Also the people that think that think that social housing is free, and that reverse snobbery is worse. Fucking wankers.

Yup

I am more puzzled by the wide claim on MN that everyone does, or can, work from 9 to 4 on a full-time salary and be home by 5 ready to make tea for the kids and eat together, mother and father, and how 2 adults handling the evening and bed time routine for little ones is a thing.

Yes, people work shifts, are self employed and work patterns are varied, but apart from that in real life, I don't know any employee at least who is home that early.

Shops are opened, surgeries are opened, schools are opened, teachers still working, offices are opened until at least 6pm. It's not just my "bubble" of commuters, it's everybody else too. I don't get it, how do so many allegedly full-time workers leave so early on MN.

Like a PP I do think women should talk about being a higher earner. It galls me that people are more likely to believe the high earning DH scenario than the high earning woman. So maybe I am guilty of posting on this topic a few times. I want women to recognise that they have the same right to go for the well paid jobs as the men.

Yes some people are lying and it does get obvious at times. Furthermore, anyone who is posting in a way intended to belittle others doesn’t deserve consideration.

Objectively, a 6 figure income is a lot. The problem is that people do live in bubbles so luxuries become perceived as normal and necessary - private schooling being prime example.

I agree with you OP.

I earn £160k a year and dh £125k. We have 3 primary kids and work full time. We've never had a nanny, don't have a cleaner etc etc. I'm able to drop and collect the kids from school. I can clock off at 3 and keep an eye on my emails thereafter. Sometimes have to log back in later for a meeting or to finish a task. This is just to say that it is perfectly possible for a "high earner" to be able to finish up on time and spend time with their kids. Obviously this being the Internet people can lie and no one has any reason to believe me but it would be obtuse to think people like this are all lying.

You'll find me on the mental health boards and general i can't cope with my kids discussions. We do exist and we're normal people! I wouldn't know how to use an aga, and do not use the word gosh. I'm as common as muck and my house is a disgrace.

I like the high earner boards. I do at times feel guilty for not being a sahm and i like to see other women making it work because i don't ever think I'll feel like i have.

There have been a few comments on some threads where people moan despite being high earners, but not as many as people are claiming on here.
Also, the class obsessed threads are usually started by people who proclaim to be working class and have an axe to grind against middle classes. Most mners would say they are working class, but a few have this hang up about it that they must rage against the middle class and shoe horn their working class credentials into every conversation. It seems like an inferiority complex.
Back to the high earning discussion though, the mistrust of high earners is not healthy. If people turn them into unicorns, they are just perpetuating the myth to their own kids and to themselves that high earners are another species, that they cannot aspire to be in that group. It’s not not be frowned upon or looked upon as money, driven greed. Let’s congratulate them and ask them how they did it

"offices are opened until at least 6pm"

Not all offices are open until 6. I've worked in many places that closed at 5 and anyone still there would be doing overtime. I've also worked in places with flexitime so some people would work, say 8 to 4 and others 10 to 6 so while the office might be open at 6, it would only be a minority still in there.

Office jobs are usually 9 to 5 or 5.30.

I used to do leafleting outside train stations and peak time for commuters going home was between 4 and 6. It became really quiet after 6.30.

For me, it's all the talk that everyone does long hours and that an hour is not a long commute that seems strange, but I know it varies from area to area.

"maybe you haven't got young kids, I hear it a lot, presumed it was another one to avoid swearing in front of kids? There's strictly nothing class-related with this word!"

Yes, it is a euphemism for God, but it is also a bit posh. You may not realise it if it's normal for you. It's also a word I think is probably used much more often by women than men.

I would never talk about my financial affairs with family and friends and, while I need a financial adviser, I don’t know how to work out who to trust so I haven’t gotten around to it. If you knew me you’d never guess our family income is circa 250k (all PAYE). A few years ago it was significantly less, under 100k which when living and renting in greater London and paying childcare costs doesn’t feel like mega riches. The only give away would have been the part time nanny which I felt was an important investment to help me cope with a demanding and unpredictable career (and in retrospective more than paid off). Nothing about our lifestyle has changed since the dramatic increase in our fortunes. We live in one of the cheaper parts of greater London, DC goes to the local school with a large economically deprived population, our friends are from all walks of life, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I much prefer living and mixing with the people in our scruffy area; I find people who live in more affluent areas and mix with only wealthy people a bit boring, it’s all competitive schooling and house extensions, yawn

I've voted YABU as this statement works both ways, especially when posters start a thread about 'class'.

I just feel that some posters on here are very judgemental when it comes to earnings/class/profession.

@Gwenhwyfar

"maybe you haven't got young kids, I hear it a lot, presumed it was another one to avoid swearing in front of kids? There's strictly nothing class-related with this word!"

Yes, it is a euphemism for God, but it is also a bit posh. You may not realise it if it's normal for you. It's also a word I think is probably used much more often by women than men.

I am as working class as they go, and I have heard enough working class mums using it to know it's definitively NOT posh!

It might be used by some posh people too, but so is most of our language frankly

I much prefer living and mixing with the people in our scruffy area; I find people who live in more affluent areas and mix with only wealthy people a bit boring, it’s all competitive schooling and house extensions, yawn

did anyone mention "reverse snobbery" just a few posts up

You couldn't be any more patronising, judgemental an a reverse snob in one sentence if you tried 😂

Oh yes the old 'we haven't changed our lifestyle a bit since earning £100k+ and it's not that much money' always makes me suspicious. Still go camping in the rain in Wales and live frugally in our two up two down. No one I know in rl does that. As their income improves people have something better to do with it, whether it's luxury holidays, new car, bigger house or nicer area, holiday home, second property to let out etc. Most likely to be as ambitious with improving their lives/investments etc as in the jobs that make it possible.

Haven't read the full thread, so I may be repeating something already observed...

The poster didn't ask for Mumsnet to be compared to national averages, that's kind of the point.

Ok (haven't checked this, but saw on page 1) only 5% of the country have earnings exceeding 100k, but I think a reasonable percentage of those post on Mumsnet, which may give it a slightly more "middle class" tone.

5% of people in the UK may be in that top bracket. But for example, at a Polo club, 95% of the people are. I think Mumsnet, perhaps 30% of people are. And maybe another 20% purport to be, as it's the internet and you can "be who you like" in many respects.

I think it's that false 20% (again, just using figures for illustrative sense) that skew things. They make the genuine proportion look over exaggerated, so some posters disbelieve those who are genuinely in that situation, and those openly and honestly stating they are in lower brackets feel they are a minority.

I was a good earner. Many children later, I'm a housewife. I have a degree and another professional qualification. DH has 6 figure salary and had a reasonable commute, although this year changing so much for the workplace now means he does a lot based from home.

We are the Mumsnet stereotype. And I can't be alone. I see many posters describing similar set ups, and I personally find it frustrating that I am disbelieved when those are our genuine circumstances. "Suuuure you've got a degree" etc. Yes. I have. And I worked hard for it. "Suuuure, your DH earns all that." Yes. He does. It's not the be all and end all.

I like selling bits and pieces on eBay and find it quite lucrative. Something like that (for example) gets instantly questioned..."it doesn't add up that you sell things on eBay with your husband earning so much". Well, alas, that's how it is, it doesn't have to add up or be justified, it's the truth.

In the scheme of things it truly doesn't matter. I've lived a lot more lavishly than this, and in younger years been quite skint. I have posted on MN for so many years and always found posters to be helpful, constructively critical. You can have some ding dongs, but it's nearly always at an intelligent level, even if the opinions differ considerably. It's pretty straight talking, and not a babe/him culture. Long may it continue.

Babe/hun*