Page 11 | Can you love a dog as much as a child?

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 2020-12-31T23:11:23+00:00

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media. So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids? YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 11:55

[quote Mommabear20]@GlummyMcGlummerson but most people have more than 1 child, so are you saying that they should let 1 die so the others weren't left parent less? The result is the same.
And 'as it should be'? Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and just because you have yours it doesn't make it right. I know my views on many things differ from other peoples, doesn't make one of us right and the other wrong. [/quote]
Or isn't because a sibling is not the same as a pet. Even if the dog lives a long life, in general the longevity of the relationship is different, but also the power dynamics, the responsibility. Yes some people hate their siblings but few would prefer a dead sucking to a dead pet

GlummyMcGlummerson · 01/01/2021 11:56

@OuchAndOuchSomeMore I think the "bizarre British culture" comment was more about how dogs are fawned over and tolerated more than actual humans. Like the time I mentioned about the injured waitress and people (except me) were only concerned over the dog and not the waitress who fell on her face and was lucky she didn't burn her hands on the skillets she dropped.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 11:58

@ouchandouchsomemore

I dont expect random people to be interested in my DC. But I noticed it when my friend got her dog and I was out with her. It got endless attention from passing strangers, people would stop to pet it and chat. I found it totally bizarre. It was welcomed with open arms to the pub...whereas even well behaved children are treated with disdain.

supernanmam · 01/01/2021 12:00

@Frolicinameadow

They’re very different types of love imo. I love my children so much it takes my breath away at times. But I don’t post pictures of them on social media because they’re too young to consent and understand it, I also don’t know enough about who owns the photos once they’re posted. However, I lost my beloved dog a few years ago and I won’t lie, I’m still heart broken over it. I’ve sought grief counselling because the loss was so great. He was literally my best friend. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for him. He loved me and my children endlessly and was so patient and gentle with them. I know to some they are just pets or animals but to me and my husband and kids he was family. He never slept outside, he had his own chair and he was just all round a great boy.

So sorry you lost your beloved dog. He sounded wonderful.

Candlesticking · 01/01/2021 12:08

British culture has a bizarre anthropomorphisation of dogs, though, more than anywhere else in the world I’ve ever lived. I first moved to England just after PrincessDiana’s death and thought the public hysteria was deeply strange, and then the first time I went to Sainsbury’s, I saw a woman step over a homeless man on the street outside to feed and pat his dog, without even giving the man so much as a glance.

You’re odd about death as a culture, and you’ve got a bizarrely sentimental attitude to pets.

Thewithesarehere · 01/01/2021 12:09

@CandyLeBonBon

This thread is batshit.

I hate to break it to you but humans are animals too. We're not a divine being or alien experiment. What has it got to do with being divine or alien experiment? A dog will die and be replaced in the years a child will grow up to become a scientist/doctor to serve humanity.

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 12:11

[quote formerbabe]@ouchandouchsomemore

I dont expect random people to be interested in my DC. But I noticed it when my friend got her dog and I was out with her. It got endless attention from passing strangers, people would stop to pet it and chat. I found it totally bizarre. It was welcomed with open arms to the pub...whereas even well behaved children are treated with disdain.[/quote]
Well I don't think children should be treated with disdain of course.

I think the petting and stroking and stopping of strangers is because a lot of people find animals cute in a way they just don't with other people's kids.

It's much rarer for me to see a child that I think aww look how cute/lovely they are than it is an animal. Apart from my own, there's only a handful of children I've ever thought were 'cute' past baby stage and some not even then 🤷

Add to that that most people would find it odd to stop and pet a stranger's baby of course 😂 If I passed a baby that I thought was cute, I'm more likely to just mention it to whoever I'm walking with whereas dogs it's more socially acceptable to pet/stroke/ask about etc...

Thewithesarehere · 01/01/2021 12:11

@Candlesticking

British culture has a bizarre anthropomorphisation of dogs, though, more than anywhere else in the world I’ve ever lived. I first moved to England just after PrincessDiana’s death and thought the public hysteria was deeply strange, and then the first time I went to Sainsbury’s, I saw a woman step over a homeless man on the street outside to feed and pat his dog, without even giving the man so much as a glance.

You’re odd about death as a culture, and you’ve got a bizarrely sentimental attitude to pets.

It’s a highly unregulated industry and simply a marketing tactic when you strip it down to the basics.

middleager · 01/01/2021 12:16

I rarely post pictures of my DC on social media, or boast about their achievements.

I do, however, post pictures of my cats and their talents.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 12:17

I think the petting and stroking and stopping of strangers is because a lot of people find animals cute in a way they just don't with other people's kids

I find human babies absolutely adorable. I don't find dogs cute...I am genuinely perplexed when people coo over dogs and say they're beautiful...I cannot see it. I don't wish animals any harm and I'd be upset to see one in pain but I cannot view them as cute or beautiful.

Tehmina23 · 01/01/2021 12:17

I love my cat. I would try to save her if the house caught fire & I bore my friends on Facebook with photos of her.

But I'm childless & she is lovely but she is a cat, not a substitute child.

Inpersuitofhappiness · 01/01/2021 12:18

The dog doesn't answer back half as much. The dogs always happy to see me, is not ever embarrassed by me, loves it when I sing to him, and I am the centre of his little world. He's always up for a walk, and a cuddle, and would join me in a heartbeat for any meal i could offer him.
He's great company.....but no still don't love him as much as I love my daughter. If I didn't have her I wouldn't know I could love anyone more than I love the dopey prat of a dog though.

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 12:22

@formerbabe

I think the petting and stroking and stopping of strangers is because a lot of people find animals cute in a way they just don't with other people's kids

I find human babies absolutely adorable. I don't find dogs cute...I am genuinely perplexed when people coo over dogs and say they're beautiful...I cannot see it. I don't wish animals any harm and I'd be upset to see one in pain but I cannot view them as cute or beautiful.

Obviously people feel differently. I'm just saying I think a lot of people do find animals cute in a way they don't human children. I'm not saying you have to. It's just an observation.

formerbabe · 01/01/2021 12:24

Yes I know they do and that's something I cannot comprehend!

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 12:24

Obviously people feel differently. I'm just saying I think a lot of people do find animals cute in a way they don't human children. I'm not saying you have to. It's just an observation.
There's a difference between I find dogs cuter than babies and I'd let a baby die to save a dog

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 12:24

I could say the same about most kids.

I'm perplexed when people coo over them and say how cute they are because most just aren't to me.

I don't wish them any harm of course but I'm not interested in looking at or hearing about them 9 times out of 10 🤷

Everyone is different. I don't think either has to be odd or bizarre.

midnightstar66 · 01/01/2021 12:24

No, i adore my dog but I can't imagine anyone loves a pet the same as or more than their own flesh and blood. I'd worry about the bond with their dc if it were actually the case.

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 12:25

@SleepingStandingUp

Obviously people feel differently. I'm just saying I think a lot of people do find animals cute in a way they don't human children. I'm not saying you have to. It's just an observation. There's a difference between I find dogs cuter than babies and I'd let a baby die to save a dog

Obviously. I wasn't responding to that particular poster though. I was responding to why I think it is that a lot more strangers seem to coo over dogs than they do babies.

midnightstar66 · 01/01/2021 12:26

I know it’s not really relevant to my OP but I do have a pet cat and I can honestly say I would put her above some family members!

That's fair enough. Lots of people aren't close to wider family members but if you were to put a cat above your own dc that would likely be a welfare concern.

Puddingypops · 01/01/2021 12:27

The thing is, dogs are one of this worlds forces for good (in the main, I realise there are aggressive dogs but mainly they are not and the aggressive ones have learned that from a human).

They are loving, joyful, and innocent and trusting, this not only brings out a huge maternal and paternal instinct in people but their adoration of humans is hard to resist and not love in turn.

I love my dog with a true love, would I sacrifice him in one second for my kids? Yes of course! But that’s all, I would otherwise protect him with everything I have and I love him like a member of my immediate family!

So no, I do not love him the same as my children but neither do I love my DH the same as my children, or my friends. I don’t think it can be qualified as who would you let die first!? Moral and ethical issues come into that and not pure emotion, but I do love my dog and he loves me. ❤️

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 12:28

Sorry I was meaning to agree. It's perfect fine and normal to be more interested in someone's dog than child or child than dog or cat than dog etc.

I don't think that's what is up for debate because there's nothing unusual about having preference of interest.

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 12:33

They are loving, joyful, and innocent and trusting, this not only brings out a huge maternal and paternal instinct in people but their adoration of humans is hard to resist and not love in turn

I agree with this. I think it's quite easy to see why dogs (and it's usually dogs) could trigger some form of maternal instincts in humans. They are living beings that need us for their care, like babies (not the same as but like). They are reliant on us. And the 'love' (I appreciate it's not love in the human sense) they show in return is hard not to reciprocate.

And actually they stay that way throughout their lives, almost in a sort of constant baby stage of needing us whereas children grow up and need us less.

This is not to say I agree with or think that people love their dogs more than DC at all. But I can see why people end up loving them very much.

OuchAndOuchSomeMore · 01/01/2021 12:34

@SleepingStandingUp

Sorry I was meaning to agree. It's perfect fine and normal to be more interested in someone's dog than child or child than dog or cat than dog etc.

I don't think that's what is up for debate because there's nothing unusual about having preference of interest.

Ah sorry!

Bambam2019 · 01/01/2021 12:35

Not a dog but my horse. I’m pregnant and love my unborn child so so much already, and yep ‘more’ than the horse, but also in a different way. I feel more protective over my child, my horse doesn’t need me in that kind of way (just to turn up and make sure she’s got food lol). I will say I certainly love the horse more than a lot of people. I would choose her over 98% of other people in my life, in a life or death situation, and that might sound strange to some, but 🤷🏻‍♀️

LindaEllen · 01/01/2021 12:38

You can love your dog (and other pets) very very much, but I think the question would be who comes first? If you had to save either your child or your dog from a burning building, who would you pick?

I think another difference is in the loss. If you lose a pet, it's so so sad, but a while goes by and you've completely moved on - often ready to have a new pet. If you lose a child, that loss never goes away, you will mourn that child for the rest of your life.

One of my friends lost her 17yo son to cancer at the age of 17. A few months after he passed away, another friend lost her dog who was 14, and we were out for dinner and she said to my friend 'I know exactly how you've been feeling now, because now I've lost my baby too, I can see how heartbreaking it is.' To say that to a grieving mother who has just watched her son getting eaten from the inside out by cancer to the point they couldn't have the coffin open at all after he died, was vile.

Of course she'll have been heartbroken losing her dog, but fuck me. To even think it's comparable to a child, is ridiculous. And then to actually say that!