Can you love a dog as much as a child?

[Bluemooninmyeyes1]

I’m not a dog owner and I don’t have children so I’m pretty clueless on this subject but genuinely interested! I work with someone who talks about her dog more than her own daughter and is constantly posting photos of her dog on social media.

So..is it possible to love your dog as much as your kids?

YABU- You cannot love a dog as much as a child

YANBU- You can definitely love a dog as much as a child

Also where do people draw the line. Cat and dogs are comparable. What about a canary or a snake or a fish. Would you leave your children parenthless to save the family tarantula or hamster? If you could only afford to feed one, would you have to deliberate over feeding your newborn or the 3 year old rabbit ?

Totally agree @formerbabe, I actually have had a couple of friends pull me up on my disinterest in their new puppy but for the same people when they had a baby, I went round, brought a lasagna, made cups of tea, held the baby while they went for a nap etc. And loved every minute of newborn cuddles I can't imagine ever preferring a dog to that feeling of cherishing another human, especially a child. I I've had a rescue dog, and I grew up with dogs, so I do have experience of owning them.

My son is 16, him and his friends managed to put a very large hole in my upstairs hall landing last night.... I currently love my dog more than my child....

@formerbabe

People I meet are 100% more interested in my dogs than my child

This is true and testament to how bizarre British culture is. I went to a pub in the daytime with my DC and some friends. My dc were primary aged. They sat down quietly and were well behaved. My friend brought her dog along. Everyone who walked past out table cooed over her dog. My dc got endless dirty looks for even being there. Im sure other countries aren't like this.

I would roll my eyes at the dog being there, to me they don't belong in pubs - I posted about this the other day but a couple of years ago I nursed a waitress and her bleeding nose after she was carrying food in a dog-friendly pub and a dog randomly shot out, with lead still on, from under the table because it saw a cat out the window and she tripped over it. The dog (who was fine) got all the sympathy and she got a bollocking I find this very worrying and gave the manager what for.

I often chat to other people's kids in pubs, especially if they're showing signs of boredom/giving the parents a hard time. I carry little Rubik's-style puzzles in bag that I had when the kids were tiny, I usually say something like "excuse me young man I cannot figure this puzzle out could you help me please?" - it works 9 times out of 10, I enjoy watching them figure it out. But to many, this makes me odd and suspicious, and I'm aware as a woman I can get away with it but I wouldn't if I was a man. But I have had some very grateful parents then again I am a teacher soiling kids comes with the job!

I think it's different. I do think you can love a dog (or any pet) very deeply and I think that if you dont have children they can emotionally take the place of a child. But when you get a dog you know it will only be with you for 20/12 years. You know you are giving your love to something you will ultimately lose - and then, like as not, you'll grieve and get another dog. Never heard of anyone who approaches motherhood like that.

Children first
Dog second

Rest of family including husband after that.

I never really got how and why people got so soppy about their dogs until we got a puppy!

I have a teen dd and while it's not the same depth of love I have for her I absolutely do love him. I also post more pics on sm of him than dd as he doesn't mind having his pic taken!

If the house was on fire yes I'd get dd our first but I would absolutely go back in to rescue my dog as well.

I sometimes think (when dd is being a typical teen) that I should have just had dogs not children, their love is so much simpler.

It’s impossible to love your dog as much as your kids. Humans are biologically programmed to love their children more than anything else. It’s down to evolution.

dogs are easier to look after than kids, comparing having them to raising kids and is totally pointless.

The reason we love dogs is evolutionary too. They evolved to make us love them more.

I think a lot of couples who aren’t yet ready for children get dogs as surrogate children, thinking it’ll be good practice for when they do have kids. I know a few couples like this, and they refer to themselves as mummy and daddy, and go on about how awful the early weeks were with all the sleepless nights

I think a lot of my friends like this would say that they feel like their dogs are like their children, and that they love them as much, but I’d be pretty horrified if they didn’t reevaluate this if and when they do become parents.

@Ihateme

It’s impossible to love your dog as much as your kids. Humans are biologically programmed to love their children more than anything else. It’s down to evolution.

Apparently not on here, some people would leave their child no with mother for the sake of a dog who'll be dead in a few years anyway. Others would let someone else's child perish to save their dog. Terrifying really.

@GlummyMcGlummerson but most people have more than 1 child, so are you saying that they should let 1 die so the others weren't left parent less? The result is the same.
And 'as it should be'? Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and just because you have yours it doesn't make it right. I know my views on many things differ from other peoples, doesn't make one of us right and the other wrong.

@Ihateme is there actual evidence for this or is this your perception?

@Girliefriendlikespuppies you'd go back into a burning building for your dog knowing there's a good chance you'd die and leave your daughter motherless?

I do hope all your kids don't pick up on your equal feelings about your dogs to them, don't think they won't be affected and damaged by that.

I think it's different. I do think you can love a dog (or any pet) very deeply and I think that if you dont have children they can emotionally take the place of a child.

I think you're right, and that a parent may use a pet to replace an adult child who has left the family home. It's something else that needs care and love that they can give. I mean really though, the child should still take priority, if it came to that.

@Mommabear20 no the result isn't the same, as I could potentially save their sibling, which is different from losing me for the sake of a dog.

You don't think humans are biologically programmed to prefer other humans to dogs? What about parrots, or ants? We aren't inherently attracted to living dogs any more than we are attracted to living cows, but we are inherently attracted to living other humans. It's a weird society anomaly whereby the human race have en masse enslaved dogs to our care, and we tell ourselves that the dogs love us for who we are, when in actual fact they need us to feed and walk them.

@GlummyMcGlummerson my first post is my perception based on my understanding of evolution and the hormones produced during pregnancy and through our emotional connections.
My second point (dogs having evolved to make us love them more) is proven.

I can’t be bothered to scroll back through this thread but to the poster who wrongly pointed out that I’m a step parent so I should be able to answer this question- no I’m not a step parent. I’m not married to my partner and I met his kids later in life so i don’t feel as though it would be a valid comparison. ‘Can you love a dog as much as a step child?’- I’m sure you would get some very different responses.

I do love my dog. But not more than my children. Maybe if I didn’t have children she would be a child figure?

@Ihateme dogs have been evolved because humans have taken it upon themselves to domesticate them. What you say is "love" from a dog is a response to that enslavement - they know we are the ones who are the key to being fed etc. That's not like a love one human develops for another because of the person they are.

Impossible to quantify, completely subjective.

We don't love all of our own species the same, and what IS love anyway?

If love is the feeling you get from a range of hormones, then the truth is when you get a puppy or new dog, most people experience a rush of oxytocin (so does the dog) from that bonding experience, from cuddles, eye contact etc etc.

That is the same experience people get with their babies.

But that isn't all love is, do you get a rush of oxytocin from looking at your partner, no, your best friend, no... but do you love them, yes.

Isn't it enough to say we are capable of loving not only our own offspring, but other members of our own species AND members of other species and some of those species are capable of some degree of reciprocation.

Do we have to quantify it, label it, set it out as better than, more than, less than anything else?

I see the 'well yes but I'd rescue a child from a burning building before I'd save the dog'...

What if you had three children, which are you saving first....

It is a stupid premise, in reality, you'd do your best to save everyone, and likely you'd grab the nearest and lob them out of the house, not ponder over who you loved more!

@Bluemooninmyeyes1 I may be in the minority but I don't think anyone has an obligation to love their stepchild. Love can't just spring from nothing and it certainly can't spring from a tense or distant relationship. I hope people love their dogs though. I still hope they'd save their stepchild or any human in the hypothetical fire over any animal though.

What if you had three children, which are you saving first....

The one who's easiest t save surely? People won't go "oh I can't save them all so won't bother"

But that's between saving your actual children not your pet, it's not even close to comparable

This is true and testament to how bizarre British culture is

I don't think it's bizarre to not really be interested in other people's kids is it? I'm well aware my kids are only really that interesting to me, DH and our parents. I don't think it's bizarre. Nor do I think it's just because it's 'fashionable'. I just think genuinely a lot of people aren't as interested in your kids as you 🤷 there will be some of course, just as there are those who are and aren't interested in your pets as well.

But I don't think it's odd for someone to not be interested in hearing about/seeing pics of your kids. I wouldn't be that interested in hearing about or seeing pics of other members of most people's families either.