To send kids in all 5 days when I only work 3

[missingmum]

Husband and I are both key workers, both unable to work from home, husband has Asperger and eldest dd yr4 has ASD, youngest is 5.

Mum died suddenly last year, dad is miles away and an abusive alcoholic, husbands parents are both dead. We have no one to offer support. No friends due to husbands and eldest conditions.

Ive had to go back on anti depression tablets and diazepam for extreme anxiety as losing my mum and since March have not had a minute away from the children unless I have been at work.

I work 3 days but considering sending my children in the the full 5 as I am at breaking point.
Am I unreasonable? I've no one talk to about this in real life so please be gentle.

There are mums round here who only work 2/3 days but send the kids in for the full 5 days. No one thinks anything of it because its not as if someone else could take up the place in the bubble so kids might as well be there learning.

Don’t worry about it.

@Skysblue

There are mums round here who only work 2/3 days but send the kids in for the full 5 days. No one thinks anything of it because its not as if someone else could take up the place in the bubble so kids might as well be there learning.

Don’t worry about it.

Yep. They pretty much insisted we used full 5 days.

Thank you for all taking the time to reply, my eldest is vulnerable in terms of her having asd, she is very withdrawn and took my mums sudden death very badly, to the point she was saying she wanted to die, it's been hard accessing mental health support due to the pandemic.

School are aware and support as much as they can, they have been my lifeline.

Having a husband with Asperger is also very difficult as there is very little emotional support, he can't change who he is but at times I feel suffocated.

My job is working with vulnerable families which is emotionally draining, even more so in these current times. I just can't troop on anymore, I can't

Your children have additional needs. They need support and stability. I would hope they would have school places whether you were a key worker or not. You are more than entitled to send them every day. Don't feel bad.

Your DC has a place due to his ASN. He also qualifies for a place due to you being a key worker.

Of course you should use it, your situation is why these exist, you have absolutely no need to doubt yourself or “feel bad”.

You need the place, your children need the place, you are entitled to the place - 3 excellent reasons for sending them, no guilt required. And I'm sorry about your mum. Losing your mum is desperately hard and this past year has been harder than most, so a double blow for you all.

Do it!
You deserve a break and the kids will be in a fun, stimulating environment. It's a win- win!

Don't worry about how many days you work OP.

Your family situation sounds vulnerable.

I would definitely send your kids in 5 days.

My only concern would be the increase in parents requesting key worker provisions this time may mean spaces are more limited? I think a lot of ppl that didn't use it before might use it now ?

It won't make a difference though, they already have a place for 3 days so 5 makes no difference.

Because of "bubbles" at our school if you had a place it was full time. Couldn't have a child in on just days parent worked and a different child for the spare days as it was an extra person with the full time kids. So go for it.

YANBU to send them in 5 days but you would be VERY unreasonable not to be open and honest with the school (who sound v supportive) about it.

@missingmum you are working face to face with families in a tier four area with the more infectious strain of the virus. Your children could be in school asymtomatic on days 4 and 5. It’s not relevant that you won’t be taking someone else’s places. Primary schools are being closed to save lives while allowing key workers and vulnerable ( children with an EHCP or a social worker not every child with asd).
There will be single parents and non key worker parents who are with their children the full five days a week.
Your situation is very hard but it’s still not ok.
You need GP support.

It is relevant, and it is ok. Lots of school staff here saying it is fine.

Yanbu

Do it.

My husband and I are key workers in a London school that has to close. My children go to a school that can stay open as in another borough. If their school closes they still have to go in as we’ve still been asked to come in everyday. You do what you need to do your a key worker you need a place at school.

You're unreasonable to take advantage of something that is designed to allow you attend work, when that doesn't apply to you.

@Woolff

You're unreasonable to take advantage of something that is designed to allow you attend work, when that doesn't apply to you.

And you are unreasonable to take times that could be available to other parents just to make it easy on yourself. The two days your are not working you should have the children home. It is NOT a babysitting service. Different if your children are regarded as vunerable but not on if they are not.

and when i mean vunerable, regarded as vunerable through the relevant authorities.

Don't be ridiculous. Those places wouldn't be used anywhere else. What difference does it make?

Go for it. My kids school requested I send them in every day although I only work three towards the end of the last lock down to keep up with the work they were teaching the key worker groups

Someone else can't take the 2 days so you may as well use them. Not to use them to appease the competitive misery or "but rules" when you clearly need them would be daft. Sounds like you need a break.

During the last lockdown my kids school had key worker kids in all or nothing, for consistency for them. So no one was doing 3 days a week anyway. I worked some whole weeks and not others and my kids still went in the weeks I wasn't working.