To send kids in all 5 days when I only work 3

[missingmum]

Husband and I are both key workers, both unable to work from home, husband has Asperger and eldest dd yr4 has ASD, youngest is 5.

Mum died suddenly last year, dad is miles away and an abusive alcoholic, husbands parents are both dead. We have no one to offer support. No friends due to husbands and eldest conditions.

Ive had to go back on anti depression tablets and diazepam for extreme anxiety as losing my mum and since March have not had a minute away from the children unless I have been at work.

I work 3 days but considering sending my children in the the full 5 as I am at breaking point.
Am I unreasonable? I've no one talk to about this in real life so please be gentle.

As a teacher, I’d say YANBU. First priority is the children and they are better being at school when you’re struggling to cope for so many reasons and you have a key worker family. Sometimes common sense needs to prevail.

@Lottieeshborn your post made me smile, thank you.

@likeafishneedsabike during the Autumn term I went into the office on my non working days to make up for the time I took off over the summer holidays, prior to that I went in on my non working days to make up for Easter. I have used AL for nothing other than childcare, Christmas holidays.

As awful as it sounds, the kids going back to school was all that has kept me going.

I'm a key worker. I also have mental health issues.

Absolutely do it. You need the break to be on top form for your children. 💐

As a teacher I'd send them in, but perhaps also talk to the school as well as if you've got a lot going on in the background then your DC might benefit from a little extra pastoral care.

Keyworker here 3 days a week. Kids are primary so in anyway but if secondary, yes I probably would send in 5 days, unless asked by school not to, for routine and continuity especially DC on the spectrum.

Doooo it!

Oh YABU

YANBU
As a school we had to keep keyworker places for those eligible for all 5 days, as we can not mix children in/out of the bubbles. So you wont be keeping a place from anyone else.

YABU

YANBU - but please use those 2 days for you as much as possible.

YANBU as your DC is in anyway, so it's not like you're taking up a space you don't need. In lockdown a girl in my bubble's parents were off work on Friday but she always asked to come in then anyway because she enjoyed it. It was lovely to hear and no higher risk IMO.

@LolaSmiles

As a teacher I'd send them in, but perhaps also talk to the school as well as if you've got a lot going on in the background then your DC might benefit from a little extra pastoral care.

Thank you, will do this.

Last time our DD’s school said to send children in all 5 days or not at all. They felt it was better for the children’s mental health to be either at school or not.
DD1 will be going to school full time when she goes back, our school is only open for key workers and vulnerable children.

Please send them op you have dealt with more than most will have to in a lifetime

For your DC sake, they have ASD, and probably need routine. I'd send them every day, and if that benefits you as an added extra, then all well and good.
But they are vulnerable due to their disabilities, so need the school place.

Do it. As pp said, there are more killers out there than covid. You need to be able to cope when the children are home so you send them to school to recharge.
My DD has ASC and I have some health problems, awaiting an ADHD diagnosis and DH has barely left his study since March. The last school closure almost broke me.
I keep being told it was 'only childcare' by children of key workers, but it was also socialisation. Socialisation that my DD needed and didn't get. I am still very bitter that our circumstances led to DD being penalised.
YANBU.

Yanbu and many schools would be fine with this so definitely discuss it with them.

At dd school I requested 3 days as that’s what I was working but they said she could attend 5 days as the space in that bubble / class was allocated to her.

absolutely, no question

I would send them in if I were you - sounds like the right thing to do under the circumstances.

I am not a key worker, but I am required to be physically present in work, and have no clue what to do about childcare if primary school remains shut (scheduled to open on the 11th, but I can't see it happening). Really messing with my head now, and DS is not able to access the home school stuff, so it feels like he is missing out.

Definitely do it. I'm a key worker and work 4 days a week. In the previous lock down I sent my children in for the 5 as I need the 5th day for my mental health and well-being. You are doing an amazing job in difficult circumstances. Do it and don't feel guilty.

YANBU.

So long as they'll be in the same bubble, it doesn't impact or cause any more contacts.

I would. They are mixing with the other children at school anyway, so from a virus spreading point of view it’s going to be the same.

YANBU

Nope. Adding to the 'do what you need to' brigade. Life sounds tough and to be the best mum you need to get the best help. So no guilt, this is for your children

I would.