To ask when the broodiness went away for good?

[Goostacean]

We’ve got two lovely children but literally since the moment DC2 was born, I’ve been broody for a third.

I’m certain I don’t want 4, and for various practical reasons (job, accommodation, cost) even 3 would be a push. Also, having two is hard work in itself! The baby is over 1 and I’m still up once a night every night. They’re boisterous, gorgeous children and I want to give them the best we can.

If you wanted 3 but stuck with 2, or even if you just have one fewer than you’d have liked, when did the broodiness go away?? Would love to be able to close the chapter and move on but I’m borderline obsessing over it and it’s been a LONG time.

For me it was when dd2 started school. It felt like a new chapter. I started to work more hours, we had more disposable income, started doing more interesting things as a family and I decided that I didn’t want to go back to the baby stage.

Now the dds are teens and I’m so glad we stuck at 2. I like babies well enough now, I mean they’re cute and everything, but I don’t want one!

I've never understood broodiness and maybe this is tactless but can't you just learn to appreciate having two healthy kids

It’s a mental and physical urge. You may not have felt it yourself, I imagine it’s not universal. But if you get it very strongly it’s like.. imagine being super horny. But about having a baby and not sex per se. Although that bit soon follows!

I’m 51 and have three beautiful DS. Very lucky. I still feel broody when I see a gorgeous baby! But I did know after my third that my family felt complete.

39

My kids are 6 & 12, I'm nearly 42 and I'd still love another 😂

Ah, but now I see it's just a lack of anything more creative to do or anything better to preoccupy myself with. Good to know.

Also never liked babies, tbh even after my own I was never overly keen on other people's.
Growing up I thought I'd have 2, I got broody and eventually had dc1. Then H didn't want another, I did. We had dc2. He left.
I met late-DH, and we never tried but we didnt actively avoid it either, neither of us would have been unhappy with a pregnancy. He had 2 as well.
I'm 48, I've not thought about it in a few years, since late-DH was diagnosed in 2016.

So for me, life events overtook the situation I guess.

@Octoblockswim12345678swim

Ah, but now I see it's just a lack of anything more creative to do or anything better to preoccupy myself with. Good to know.

Well, sorry, but that's how I see it. When some people are absolutely desperate to have one child to convince yourself that some mythical biological "urge" is driving you on to have a third, fourth or fifth is a bit .

I think if you really unpick this "urge" which people are so keen to attribute to some biological need you'll find its just good old-fashioned want. Like wanting a bigger house or car.

By all means if you have enough money to support them and attention to give them have loads of kids, knock yourself out, but don't convince yourself you have some special calling to do so. You just want loads of kids.

I dislike the veneer of faux biological mumbo jumbo that goes with the idea of "broodiness", as if some women are "called" and other aren't. It's bollocks.

I'm also wondering this, my 3rd dc is only 5 months and i'm already broody for number 4 but I know right now practically and financially it makes 0 sense, and DH is certain we are done. It makes me sad thinking these little moments with my baby, may be the last time I have a baby if that makes sense? and starting to wonder if the broodiness ever goes

I'm in my 50's and it's still not gone, I'd have another baby tomorrow if I could.

I think if you really unpick this "urge" which people are so keen to attribute to some biological need you'll find its just good old-fashioned want. Like wanting a bigger house or car.

But we do have a biological urge on a wider scale to have a lot of children, it even shapes our sexual habits and familial dynamics. Just because you don't personally feel broody doesn't invalidate women who do. Maybe "want" plays a part but you have to REALLY want something in order to give a ton of your money to it, experience physical damage in most cases and live the rest of your life dedicating yourself to it. I'd consider that enough dedication to not criticize the state of broodiness as a concept.

When my last baby started sleeping through (2.5 yrs 🥱), the broodiness went off like a switch.
I thought nah I physically can’t do that again, despite wanting 3.

I was broody after my third for a couple of years. I thank my lucky stars whenever I remember this that I did not proceed down that avenue. I would have loved 4 under 5 but I would not enjoy juggling 4 primary school children.
I think most people lose their broodiness once their youngest child hits 5. There are so many things you can do with older children that would be curtailed by a baby in tow.

When I had my third!

My dh has been desperate for a third since our youngest turned 3. I had pretty much ruled it out until I saw my dd hold his cousins new baby and watched my son be ever so gentle with her. I thought long and hard about the pros and cons and we decided for one last try, it worked and I am pregnant. This will be the last though as I feel anymore would stretch me too thinly.

I've never been broody even though I have a daughter!

It got replaced with grandchild broodiness 🤦🏼‍♀️

Iv just had no 3 and now want no 4. My 3 are all really young though so will wait maybe 18 months/ 2 years and see how I feel.

I always wanted 4. Had 3. Marriage ended (abusive relationship). Honestly I clung on to the marriage partly due to my utter belief I would have 4 children. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

I have been broody up until about this year. Someone in my family has had the most adorable little baby, and holding him is magical. But no way did I feel broody, just couldn't imagine it now.

My 3 are 13, 11 & 9, and I think I find it harder now than when they were little. I've been on my own for 7 years. Very little support.

ncbby

I understand the concept of desperately wanting a child but I can’t really grasp the inability to turn it off after one or two tbh.

I guess I just feel that when circumstances are screaming at you that it’s a bad idea - as they often will - that should over-ride any further “desperation” and that it’s a bit odd that people can still convince themselves it’s a good idea confronted with this evidence.

We will just have to agree to disagree on this. Maybe I have never been properly broody!

I'm nearing the menopause, and I haven't had any thoughts about having babies for decades, not since I was in my 20s. I wouldn't have listened to myself if I had though - I never wanted lots of children.

I have two. The youngest is almost a year old and I have been very broody for months.

We considered number 3 but decided to be practical. Financially having another would be unfair on the existing two and I wouldn't be able to provide them with the comfortable life I want to. But oh boy does it hurt when I see or think about newborns.
I hope the broodiness eases. It's painful.

For me, not until the second was 6. I really put myself off it, but the thought was still in the back of my mind. He's just turned 7 and die number 3 in 4 weeks. I can honestly say I will never do this again. This was a surprise and I've had a dreadful pregnancy.

I never experienced broodiness. My DH wanted kids and I've grown to love my 2 dcs. Admittedly not conventional as I cant bear most children activities and extended periods of time with them (the noise, constant bickering, nonsense games etc)

I'm very pragmatic and I dont want to split our resources (one on one time, money, attention) from 1/2 to 1/3 each. In my mind my beloved 2 will lose out 16.7%, at least in inheritance.

I do often wonder am I missing some maternal hormones or something? Most mums would probably think im autistic if they really knew, but I'm not.