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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what age you were when you found undeniable love?

98 replies

Sandyshores13 · 29/12/2020 10:02

I'm 34 and had 3 serious relationships lasting

3 years
2 years
8.5 years.

I've always thought I was in love. Although not so much the middle relationship. He wasn't a nice person. Very immature and we were young. But definitely with my first. With my third I felt like I had found the one. We had Alot of lovely times together. But it fizzled out and it was sad. But we just were not quite right together and ended up negative constantly.

I've now met someone and I feel like I finally understand what it is all about. I liked him from one conversation. Then we had a few more. Then I didn't see him for a while. but in that time I never forgot him. Then our paths crossed again 3 months ago. We ended up confessing exactly the same thing to eachother. We had liked eachother instantly. He is 13 years older and said he's never felt what he has for me.

We've been inseparable this last couple of months. It's hard because of covid but we meet up for what we can. We have exactly the same views on things. He says what I think and visa versa. I've never been so comfortable with anyone before.

Last week he said he loved me and I said it back. Because I feel exactly the same. I have never felt so close to anyone before. I've never felt so happy. I've never felt so comfortable. His personality is so balanced for me. He's all the things I love in a person and ive never had that with anyone. He makes me laugh so much. We both have the same humour. But we can both talk seriously. He is affectionate but gives me abit of banter too.

I don't think this would ever happen again in this lifetime. I wonder whether some people ever find it. It just got me curious to what age were you when it finally clicked with someone?

I have realised my whole twenties I just settled and never found a real connection with anyone.

Sorry if this post is sickly. But I'd love to know when other people experienced a really strong click with someone and realised that it was the first time?

OP posts:
Birdladybird · 29/12/2020 10:03

I was 27, my second marriage

Worldgonecrazy · 29/12/2020 10:06

48 and about to enter my third marriage. Life is too short to be with someone you have fallen out of love with. I also used to believe that physical attraction was unimportant. Now I’m with someone who makes me think ‘phwoar!’ Every time he gets naked. 🤪 He also cooks, cleans, and knows how to run a house. I think I finally found a keeper.

Jacketornot · 29/12/2020 10:10

I am lucky. I've had two proper relationships and both were like this. Number 1 was my high school crush, together 4yrs. We still have a really easy, relaxed connection when we see each other about once a year. Number 2 is DH (met at 19, so together 14 years now) and it crosses my mind most days how fortunate I am to have found him.

In between I saw a slightly older man for a few months and it was great fun with a strong connection but also really difficult at times. I often think if I'd been older when I met him or had not experienced how a relationship could be I probably would have stuck with it. I can see how people end up realising they've been in a bad relationship for several years without really noticing before.

Ginfordinner · 29/12/2020 10:11
  1. We are still together 42 years later.
cushioncovers · 29/12/2020 10:13

20 and I utterly adored him. We divorced when I was 40.

MakeItRain · 29/12/2020 10:15

I'm in my fifties and never found it! I thought I was in love in my first relationship at 18 to 21. Still in contact with him now. He's a great memory but it was never going to work. Had long and short relationships til my marriage. Again felt was in love (though not for long). Got married anyway and it was a disaster.
Now however I'm finally completely happy on my own and have no wish to be in a relationship again. I have 2 children and our life is so calm and happy.
From my experience I would be a bit wary of something that seemed so perfect so quickly. You don't really know this man yet. But enjoy it too! I don't regret any of my relationships, even the disastrous ones, because ultimately they're all a learning experience, and they lead me to where I am now - happy on my own, with two children I love to bits :)

HikeForward · 29/12/2020 10:23

I was 18

Original poster
Sandyshores13 · 29/12/2020 10:33

Ah love the replies. It's interesting. I don't mean it to sound like sickly sop. But wow I've honestly never had this feeling. The nicest thing about him is he's consistent and is a gentleman to me everyday. He always says good morning and asks me how I am. He says goodnight to me everynight. Always compliments me. I've never had someone that has stayed consistent and caring.

It's an amazing feeling and I feel such a different love for him than I've had for anyone else. I can feel it in my chest. Even his voice makes me feel like I've never felt before.

It's lovely that it exists. I've never understood full romantic love before.

OP posts:
TheSparkling · 29/12/2020 10:34

Actually think I have found it at the grand old age of 43...

I was married for 16 years which ended in 2018. Three months ago I met a man on pof and we have just clicked, it is lovely and I can't help smiling everytime he pops into my head. Its been very difficult because of covid and lockdowns but we talk every day. He just gets me. I am more shocked than anyone that I have fallen in love now.

theinternetmakesmyeyesfeelsick · 29/12/2020 10:34

I'm still waiting......

Original poster
Sandyshores13 · 29/12/2020 10:37

@TheSparkling

Aww that's lovely. I get it! It can work with phone calls and stuff to top it up for now. If you click you just don't get bored. That's what's really shocked me about him. I know he loves me and I know he's not playing games. Hope things continue to go well xx

@theinternetmakesmyeyesfeelsick
Ahhh I think it must be rare.

OP posts:
DazedandConcerned · 29/12/2020 10:38

I was 16 and we’re still together 20 years later.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/12/2020 10:39

Never and I doubt I ever will Sad

Isis1981uk · 29/12/2020 10:40

You are literally me!
1st relationship - (age 18-20) 2 years & was puppy love, but nothing in common.
2nd relationship - (age 22) 4 months & was infatuation.
3rd relationship - (age 25-37) fancied him, fell in love, but has nothing in common, incl marriage & children - 12 years (ended up not even liking or respecting him as he was a man-child)

After my divorce, at age 37, I met the love of my life (I've never thought of any other man in that way, he made me believe in soulmates). So it definitely happens!

dugupdeadcat · 29/12/2020 10:44

I was 37, we were friends for 6 months first, we got married within 12 months of our first date and 11 years on and 1 DD later I can honestly say it's only got better.

It definitely happens.

TheVamoosh · 29/12/2020 10:46
  1. We're married now.
Descant · 29/12/2020 11:08

OP, in the nicest possible way, you’re two months into a new relationship — of course you feel loved up and fabulous, and it’s nice that you do. But your neurology is bathing you in dopamine. See where you are in two years, when this very new relationship has started to be tested by time.

Jollibeezus · 29/12/2020 11:22

I was 20, had a couple of significant relationships before that, but fell intensely in love - never felt anything like it in my life.

We were divorced by the time I was 30! Grin

Met a wonderful man at 32 and have never felt so myself. It’s lovely. I don’t doubt I was in love before, but this feels better.

justanotherneighinparadise · 29/12/2020 11:24

36

Waxonwaxoff0 · 29/12/2020 11:25

22, when my DS was born. That's the only undeniable love I've ever had, I'll never feel that for a man. Romantic love is always conditional.

Johan23 · 29/12/2020 11:28

I thought I was in love when I was 15. First serious boyfriend.

Not until I met my husband at 22, did I feel real love, a man that I love completely and he loves me completely back: warts and all.

emilyfrost · 29/12/2020 11:30

16, and we’re still together and now in our mid thirties. We’re very lucky Smile

VeryQuaintIrene · 29/12/2020 11:32
Johan23 · 29/12/2020 11:33

And as time has went by, we’ve married and had a child. I was very ill for a while, and he looked after me. Love him more 17 year later

Bloodybridget · 29/12/2020 11:40

Do you mean love, or a relationship that works? I have had three previous relationships where I've been madly and passionately in love, but they were all hopeless, really, and then I met my adorable, sane and utterly wonderful DP when I was 46.