To ask what age you were when you found undeniable love?

[Sandyshores13]

I'm 34 and had 3 serious relationships lasting

3 years
2 years
8.5 years.

I've always thought I was in love. Although not so much the middle relationship. He wasn't a nice person. Very immature and we were young. But definitely with my first. With my third I felt like I had found the one. We had Alot of lovely times together. But it fizzled out and it was sad. But we just were not quite right together and ended up negative constantly.

I've now met someone and I feel like I finally understand what it is all about. I liked him from one conversation. Then we had a few more. Then I didn't see him for a while. but in that time I never forgot him. Then our paths crossed again 3 months ago. We ended up confessing exactly the same thing to eachother. We had liked eachother instantly. He is 13 years older and said he's never felt what he has for me.

We've been inseparable this last couple of months. It's hard because of covid but we meet up for what we can. We have exactly the same views on things. He says what I think and visa versa. I've never been so comfortable with anyone before.

Last week he said he loved me and I said it back. Because I feel exactly the same. I have never felt so close to anyone before. I've never felt so happy. I've never felt so comfortable. His personality is so balanced for me. He's all the things I love in a person and ive never had that with anyone. He makes me laugh so much. We both have the same humour. But we can both talk seriously. He is affectionate but gives me abit of banter too.

I don't think this would ever happen again in this lifetime. I wonder whether some people ever find it. It just got me curious to what age were you when it finally clicked with someone?

I have realised my whole twenties I just settled and never found a real connection with anyone.

Sorry if this post is sickly. But I'd love to know when other people experienced a really strong click with someone and realised that it was the first time?

@calamityjam
That's such a shame and so sad. But wonderful you found that in this lifetime. How hard to be without him. It's lovely that you have a part of him forever in your son.

I understand the bursting into tears because you love him. I had a little cry last week in private because of how much he's rocked my world. I never expected to love anyone like this or get comfortable as I have.

I knew he was special when I called him at 9pm one night. At 1.30am we were both shocked at the time. We could have carried on but we went to bed.

He lost his mum years ago now and it broke his heart. He said to me that he thinks she's sent me to him to say look after her and be happy now. I just can't imagine anyone saying such lovely things to me again.

I hope he's the last man I ever am with.

17. We went out for 3 years before work took us in different directions. Then 20 years and 2 fuck ups each later our paths crossed again and we ended up married and happy.

The flush of a new romantic relationship isn't really what I'd call love, TBH. Infatuation, liking, sexual attraction. All of which might turn into love.

But love is work, at least if you stick with it.

I met DH when I was 21. That was 21 years ago 🙈

I was 18, he was 20.
It knocked me sideways.
Amazingly we’re now happily married 27 years later.

I'm 52 and I never have. I spent 30 years with an abuser, and have been healing from that.

But I feel there's still time, and I'm heading into 2021 with the intention of seeinf if the right person is indeed out there for me.

29 - zero doubt this is undeniable love.

Had a few shorter term or on-off again relationships before then but nothing felt right. This just feels right and i am happy. I wake up every day and am grateful i met him. even when the room stinks of his farts!

I was 23, he was 26. Still happily married 33 years later.

43 OP. And like you, I just knew. We spoke online and I fell for his internet persona, but was hesitant in case it wasn't the real him. We met and it was. He is the One. And it feels totally different to anything I have ever felt before, even in my previous marriage.

Luckily, he feels the same and we are getting married next year. So pleased for you OP

@TurquoiseDragon
Good luck for 2021 hope you find your soulmate 🌸

Got together at 24 after a one off dalliance at 16, he's made me smile and feel funny inside since the day I met him on the school bus aged 11 and we became best friends. Both had other relationships that never felt quite right. We've been through ups and downs together, and marriage isn't always rosy, but there's no-one else I could imagine being with

17 when we started dating but I probably didn’t know for the first year or 2 that it was undeniable love of the kind that would endure- we were so very young, but 16 years later and we have been through thick and thin together, I still think marrying him was the best thing that ever happened to me, we have deep and meaningful conversations, are a team, I wake up each morning feeling so lucky to be next to him. Our relationship isn’t always roses and sunshine and I don’t believe in “the One” but I do think there would be very few people out there who could be as good for me as he is.

Never. I'm 38 and only had a couple of pretty rubbish relationships, few flings. Pretty much given up on my 30's.

I'm hoping my 40's will produce something amazing!

25 and it was instantaneous, the second I laid eyes on him.
We've been married 15 years now.

I think you can have different types of love at different ages. I thought the love I felt for my first boyfriend as a teenager was the most intense form (and it probably was in many ways!).

I met my DP in my early 20s loved him very early on, I still very much do - more perhaps. It was different to my teenage love. And it feels different again in my 30s and after many years with him than it did at the start.

I'm 43, married for 15 years, been with "D"H for 20 years, and I've still not found "undeniable" love. More a cupboard love. I know it won't last. He adores me. I find him annoying.

43. Four years on and I love him more everyday. He is a very special and unique guy and I’m very lucky I got to marry him 😍

32, forth boyfriend (now husband).
Thought I was in love with no. 3 though

I'm a fussy bugger and quite happy with my own company. In my late teens/early 20s I was quite secure, no hangups/baggage /knew my own mind/good judge of character/didn't suffer fools (well, unsuitable men) gladly, unlike some of my friends who never seemed to be happy unless they had a boyfriend on their arm, no matter how unsuitable. and I didn't really care if I never met anyone serious at that point, I was just happy playing the field and exploring what was on offer! I had fun but it just convinced me all the more that I'd be happier on my own in terms of serious relationships.

Then I met DH at 23 and wham! I didn't know what had hit me. I don't think he had either. It sounds totally ridiculous now but there was just a compulsion to see each other when dating. Unbeknown to the other till years later when we were chatting on an anniversary, we used to literally run from the bus stop we got off at to our meeting point in town as we were so looking forward to see each other. We deliberately didn't jump into bed with each other for a few months as wanted to just take it slowly and appreciate the delicious build up and just enjoy the all the snogging and the dating and getting to know each other. God, it sounds so old-fashioned, considering it was the late 90s, but it was proper "courting" in the old fashioned sense, I suppose.

All the daft stuff like in the movies happened. If his hand brushed my leg accidentally when we were having a drink in the pub on a date I would get shivers and the raging fanny gallops . He used to look at me all soppy with puppy dog eyes and tell me my hair smelled so nice etc. (this is very funny thinking back cos he really is not at all soppy like that or very complimentary by nature, he was just clearly smitten). I used to be so very interested in his very boring job.

It wasn't just a sexual attraction either. On our first date we talked for hours, and it seemed like we just thought the same about everything. He just "got" me, and I know that I got him.

My mum said a year later when we got engaged: "I knew he was the one, you dropped him into conversation every chance you could!" A year doesn't seem that long to me but she knew I was sensible and if I was putting up with one bloke for that length of time he must have been very special ha ha

We have been together 23 years and if this time next year he wasn't in my life anymore I would not bother dating ever again. I think he was my one chance at a life partner, I just could not be arsed with any other bloke I don't think.

[quote Wiglio]@TurquoiseDragon
Good luck for 2021 hope you find your soulmate 🌸[/quote]
Thank you, fingers crossed. I met ex very early on, so never really dated, either, so it's going to be a whole new experience.

@Sandyshores13

Thanks for starting this thread. Reading about yours and others' experiences brings back happy memories of the falling in love stage. I get nostalgic for it as obviously it's a deep comfortable kind of love that we have for each other now 20 odd years and 2 kids later rather than the love you have when you first get together for the first 6-7 years or so. But I can't understand someone chasing that feeling and not appreciating deep and settled love as you risk so much.

Perhaps true love is what is there when the first flush of passion and chemistry has left.

I thought I loved my best friend of 7 years (let's call him 1) but after a short time actually being a couple he totally broke my heart when I was 18 and I decided to have a break from any kind of relationships.

Then at 19 I met the most wonderful person (let's call him 2), we spoke once and I just knew. Not long after we met 1 asked to get back with me but I told him I'd met someone amazing (2) (even though he was in a relationship - yes I'm that girl and I'll always feel bad about it). It took three weeks of talking and 2 left his long term girlfriend for me because he felt the same.

We are now happily married with two daughters, been together six years and I cherish every moment - if you know, you know!

19. Early on you wouldn't have thought it.. he was a typical 18 year old guy, and we had a couple of hiccups in our first year together, but it was my first relationship and I was besotted. 10 (nearly 11) years on, we have been married 3 years and couldn't be happier. I knew then and I still do.

18 lol. Me and my dh met in college. My parents and a few other family member's didn’t think it would last but here we are almost 20 years later and we love each other just as much as we did back then.

Loving these stories.

It's a wonderful feeling. He's on my mind 247 and the reason I smile at least half the day.i just wish I had met him a few years earlier.