Should I give my neighbours the heads up?

[SozzaBozza]

I've named changed because I'm admitting to breaking the laws of the land here

We are having our Xmas day today (as in having one other household over to celebrate and doing the whole Xmas day thing which we haven't done any other day).

The reason being we have a family child who is terminally ill and they have been in treatment for the last month - today is the only day we could have possibly done something. We are taking KS1 age and It will be their last Christmas.

Anyway I'm not particularly asking if we are being unreasonable to break the rules because honestly in this instance I just don't care, nor do her parents and this is what she wants.

What I want to know is if it would be better to let my neighbours know ahead of them arriving so they don't all think WTF or report us or whatever else.

We don't know the neighbours particularly well - we only moved in a year ago and due to all of the lockdowns we just haven't had much chance to meet.

Thoughts?

It's not their business but I would tell them - if only to see if doing so will save bother. They may still report but hopefully they won't. I hope you all have a really wonderful day.

@IveNameChangedAgain2020 that's what I was thinking but I don't know if someone knocked on my door to let me know their plans I'd think they were bonkers or accusing them of being busy bodies and thinking they were the type to report

I wouldn't even think to mention it to the neighbours, especially if I hardly ever saw them. Enjoy your day!

I would tell them, they would appreciate it. If not then they are neighbours not worth knowing.

I would tell them. If I was them then I'd be asking if there was anything I could do to help, if you wanted me to stick something in my oven or lend you chairs/ crockery to just ask.

So sorry for your situation. Hope you have a magical day

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson you sound like a fantastic neighbour.

We are going to have the best day, thank you all

I wouldnt say anything. They may not even notice and if they do they may not report you. It sounds as if you're happy to take the chance you might be fined. For which I dont blame you in the slightest considering the circumstances.

Anyway I think the christmas day mixing is very unfair to those who have to work Christmas day and would normally choose another day to see family, usually those in the NHS and carers who we have depended on throughout this crisis

I would tell them.

I can imagine them reporting you when they don't know the backstory but I don't think anyone who has a heart would report you if they knew your story.

I'd tell them. So sorry for this awful situation

I wouldn’t say anything.

Hope you have a lovely day

I think telling them could potentially cause more problems than it solves. This is none of their business and I doubt they will even care.

I wouldn't say anything, I doubt I would notice if my neighbours had people over and if I did I wouldn't say anything. Enjoy your Christmas. 🎄

I'm sure there is a special circumstance if one of the party is ' dying ' I'm so sorry for putting it so bluntly.
Enjoy your day making memories

I wouldn’t say anything. I doubt they’ll notice your guests arriving and if they do and are nosey then they can ask the next time you happen to see them.

I probably wouldn't say anything.
Hope you have a lovely day x

I think I would drop a note round - absolutely no one would begrudge you making this choice which is only a rule break due to the day you will be celebrating, rather than additional household mixing. It will ease an concerns you might have about being reported and help maintain/build good relations with the neighbours.

Hope you have a lovely and memorable day.

I'm torn on this one - they might not even notice and you might unnecessarily be drawing attention to yourselves, although anyone who felt the need to report you under those circumstances would be a heartless twat.

Have a lovely day and make some great memories.

My neighbours ended up in a position where they had to regularly break a lockdown rule earlier in the year, for very good reason. I wouldn't have said anything anyway but they did mention it and explain the inarguable circumstances when we bumped into them one day. It was nice to have confirmation that they weren't taking the piss but not essential - they are nice people and I knew they wouldn't have been doing it for the hell of it. Though I wouldn't have thought they were bonkers if they'd knocked on the door to tell us either, if doing that in advance would give you some peace of mind.

I hope your relative has a really lovely day.

I also wouldn't tell them. I think telling them would give them chance to stew it over, tell a relative and end up reporting it. There's many on this forum who'd do that.

Just go ahead with your day and if you are asked, it's a support visit.

I would tell them. There are so many busy body reporters out there

I’m so sorry about the child in question and hope you all have a wonderful day. X

I wouldn't say anything. It's none of their business. If they complain, then you tell them- but I wouldn't go into the whole terminal illness. Just say for various reasons that you couldn't hold a Christmas dinner on Christmas Day- and doing one now. Don't tell people, who you don't know, too much of your business.

So sorry, hope you enjoy your day.

Yes we are fully prepared and happy to pay any fines, I'd give my left arm to be able to spend today with them so that's fine either way.

DH has popped over to see our 2 direct neighbours (we are at the end of a turning circle so it's really only our 3 houses). He took wine

I wouldn't bother telling them, it's none of their business. If they report you then I'm sure the police would be understanding.

Sorry for your situation.

I wouldn't say anything. If anyone asks, just tell them the truth, a child in the family is dying, you couldn't do Christmas on Christmas day, so you're doing it today. Anyone who complains has got a swinging brick instead of a heart.