Should I give my neighbours the heads up?

[SozzaBozza]

I've named changed because I'm admitting to breaking the laws of the land here

We are having our Xmas day today (as in having one other household over to celebrate and doing the whole Xmas day thing which we haven't done any other day).

The reason being we have a family child who is terminally ill and they have been in treatment for the last month - today is the only day we could have possibly done something. We are taking KS1 age and It will be their last Christmas.

Anyway I'm not particularly asking if we are being unreasonable to break the rules because honestly in this instance I just don't care, nor do her parents and this is what she wants.

What I want to know is if it would be better to let my neighbours know ahead of them arriving so they don't all think WTF or report us or whatever else.

We don't know the neighbours particularly well - we only moved in a year ago and due to all of the lockdowns we just haven't had much chance to meet.

Thoughts?

I have always believed in telling neighbours as little about yourself as possible. Mine don't even know my surname and only one knows my first name because she was nosy enough to ask.

I’m a little baffled that anyone would see a downside in alerting the neighbours to the presence of guests. There may be a minutely raised risk that knowing about these guests will motivate them to report the gathering when they might otherwise not even have been aware it was happening, but I think the much higher possibility is that they feel sympathy for the family and want “in” on the “conspiracy” to bend the rules. And it wouldn’t even take bribing me with wine to feel that way!

Don’t tell the curtain twitchers. It’s none of their business. If police turn up (doubt it) then tell them they’re ruining a little child’s last Christmas.

How would you not notice if your neighbours were having a large gathering? Do you not go outside or have windows?

I wouldn't notice, the front half of our house is the entrance hall, inner hall and downstairs toilet, the main accommodation is all at the back so unless I am going out I never see out of the front of the house.

Difference between noticing and caring.

I might notice if my neighbours had visitors depending on whether I happened to be at that side of the house. But, it's none of my business and I wouldn't care unless they were making noise outside at 2 in the morning. That's the type of gathering you need to alert neighbours to, one that actually impacts them.

I probably wouldn't tell as I think most people wouldn't call the police or anyone.

However, I think if you're worried, it might be good just to tell them so you're not worried that's something they'll do. Plus they won't get the wrong idea and get annoyed at you.

I would tell them. If I was your neighbor I'd be really upset if I saw this happen, especially as I'd given up my Christmas with family. If I knew the circumstances I would be understanding and be fine with it. Tell them so there is no bad feelings and you can get on with your day without feeling guilty or judged.