Can you tell if someone is privately educated?

[bye2020]

Without knowing what school they went to?

I can’t tell who has, but I can often tell who hasn’t....

@Calmate

P.S. I believe Camilla Parker Bowles went to an exclusive girls' school, and do you know she's never worked? It's on her 1st and 2nd marriage certificate: Bride's occupation= blank space. I thought this type of aristo belonged to the 18th century. Surely we should all have done a job of work, meaning a paid job of some kind, no matter what background we are from? No gags, now, no gags !

wow, that's an achievement. To have NEVER worked. She's 70 now so she is unlikely to get a job now!

I know she has been a patron with womens aid recently though so I'm not knocking her actually.

Usually, yes. They often have a certain accent, along with an air of confidence that tips over into arrogance, especially when they think they're scoring a point over someone.

My experience is those who went to private schools are on the whole very unlikely to tell you that as they immediately get judged. If it does come up in conversation they're more likely to apologise about it than boast.
In fact the only private school boaster I know of, boasts about everything and the kitchen sink (hers will be bigger, cleaner and most definitely more expensive), but her siblings, who went to the same school I've never heard boast about anything.

You realise that there are plenty of different private schools. Yes, you get the Eton/Harrow type ones. But you also get the boarding schools with army brats (and not just officer ones, very few state boarding schools), the tiny private ones, the ones that focus on SEN, the one that focuses on something non-academic, the one that tends to end up with the 11+failures etc.

Claiming you can always tell is about as broad a spectrum as being able to tell whether someone is an only child or not. Some fit the stereotype, most do not.

My boys go to private schools and in some ways I think people can tell (increasingly so as they get older).
It’s not so much the way they speak or their confidence as people have said above, but more their interests and experiences are increasingly different to friends’ dc who don’t go to private school.
It’s hard to explain but it was not noticeable wen they were younger.

*when not wen!

If they speak in RP or a very, very weakened local accent and are not from the home counties that's a big clue.

I've met people who went to the less posh private schools and kept their regional accents and with them I was surprised.

@Blackitty

I can’t tell who has, but I can often tell who hasn’t....

Pretty easy to identify 90% of the population isn't it?

@Gwenhwyfar I went to quite a posh school and I had posh friends but I’ve still got a slight regional accent about which I am pleased about.

I went to an all girls private school back in the 80's. I hated the final 2 yrs, they told me I wouldn't get good marks and fail my exams. Failed all of them, once I went to college i did better.

You wouldn't think I had gone to a private school, I'm common as muck now lol.

"rugby = private, football = state

This is just not true. All the state schools in my local area played rugby. I know people who went to to boys private schools in Surrey who played football."

Totally not true in Wales either.
If someone has played lacrosse, however... (unless they're Canadian!)

I was going to say similar to @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland - any mention of Latin, DofE, Ccf...
I'd add a knowledge of classics /mythology to that list as well - IME that's uncommon in state schools.
Having school houses, and also being a completely unfussy eater (due to terrible school dinners) can be indicators but not as reliable!

Ooh and lacrosse!!

@OxfordwillsaveusbyFebruary

Generally - can they read Latin.

Yes, for people my age (40s), but if they're older this doesn't work.

At university, absolutely. Not 100% hit rate, but pretty good. I’m early 50s now - and though a couple of people are really obvious, I’d say no.

@BlairCorneliaWaldorf

Yes it’s old fashioned manners. In a similar vein I have a male friend who when we are eating together never closes his knife and fork until I’ve finished eating. I thought it was really odd the first few times then I realised it must be a manners thing, as in you don’t leave your dining companion eating alone type thing.

I have a friend with really awful table manners. I don't mean no etiquette - I have bad etiquette, blow on my food, etc. I mean really eating a bit like a pig and he went private for sixth form! Maybe he was too old by then :)

@JustAnotherUserinParadise
That’s the kind of thing I was talking about with regard to my own sons. They aren’t posh but they are increasingly noticeably different to friends’ dc. It is things like DofE, still being cool/acceptable to play multiple instruments and sing even as an older boy, singing choral music, orchestra, lots of traditional concerts, CCF is compulsory, big classics department etc. They are of course not exclusive to private school but appear to not be as common among their friends from state schools.

My DD came home and said they had a lesson in lacrosse. I quizzed her - are you sure it wasn't hockey? No, lacrosse, like the famous five books. This is a state secondary school that often has regular visits from the police and its fair share of kids on free school meals.

Well, but of a reverse situation but I found out that one of my colleagues wasn't privately educated and I was hugely surprised.

You'd swear he was. He has confidence, poise, he screams privately educated. But no, went to a comp.

The accent might make me question whether they attended private school, but for no other reason than observation.

Saying that though, plenty of people speak with RP accents that don’t attend private school.

"I was going to say similar to @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland - any mention of Latin, DofE, Ccf...
I'd add a knowledge of classics /mythology to that list as well - IME that's uncommon in state schools."

DoE is presumably Duke of Edinburgh. What's Ccf? Yes, classics goes with Latin in my mind and mainly taught at private schools these days.

" He has confidence, poise, he screams privately educated. But no, went to a comp."

One of my friends speaks in RP, did Latin, etc. I had to ask him many times what kind of school he went to. The thing is if you go to a comprehensive in a posh area, it won't really be 'comprehensive'. It will only reflect the population of that area so my instinct that he went to a posh school was still correct.

In my previous employment, I was once asked which private school I attended . they was quite taken back when they found out I came from a chavvy little council estate up north... because my accent was like "theirs"

I honestly don't have a clue, lived down south for ten years and most people don't think I have an accent at all, I must have subconsciously adapted lmao.

So I think it's an accent thing a lot of the time

"Saying that though, plenty of people speak with RP accents that don’t attend private school"

Depends where you live.

I'd never assume.
I've been on the recieving end a few times and it was odd to be pigeonholed.