Can you tell if someone is privately educated?

[bye2020]

Without knowing what school they went to?

My friends who went to public school all seem to keep their school friends way into adulthood. And talk about school incessantly when they meet up.

My friends who went to state school on the other hand, tend not to hang out with people they went to school with and rarely mention their schooldays.

They'll tell you 9 times out of 10

You must be joking. It’s like a dirty secret to be hidden at all costs.

DH went to a famous boys school in London and hated it. He managed to persuade his parents to let him quit and went to the local comp instead.
DS has rowed against the lads from Eton several times and I have to say they are the politest kids. Happy to let others into the queue for food at Dorney ("after you") and just really helpful.

Yes, because of the confidence they have.

@Calmandmeasured1

I went to buy a jacket from mountain Warehouse recently and, I don't know how but, by the time we left I knew which private school the duty manager went to, how much it cost per term and that his brother was also now at the school.

I agree that you can usually tell because the privately-educated will let you know.

In my case, (apart from what I’m about to type!!) I rarely ever mention the fact I went to a private school, as I’m hugely embarrassed by it. When I started in the world of work and got chatting to colleagues, the topic of schools would come up (you know how it is when you’re all a lot younger) and when asked, I would be deliberately vague and just name the town my school was in and then quickly change the subject.

People pretty much always assume I went to an independent school. I didn’t.

No lol. Some people? Yes, obviously. But DH was privately educated. You wouldn’t guess he or at least 8/10 of his friends were. They’re all “normal” average houses, average earners.

At my age (44) it doesn’t show so much but at university and just after it was extremely obvious. I went to a uni where most students were from private schools while I went to a “mixed demographic” state school.

I think many people don’t realise that there is a huge range of private schools, they’re not all like Eton. I was privately educated but you’d never know. Many of the girls at my school had parents who were self employed & worked incredibly hard to afford the fees or had grandparents who helped, some had their fees paid by charities or religious organisations. People can be very judgemental about private education but don’t know the reality.

Agree bobby81 I dont recognise either my school or the DCs from the description of Private schools and/or pupils

I think many people don’t realise that there is a huge range of private schools, they’re not all like Eton

Exactly. I bet most people haven't heard of 99.9% of private schools. Lots of private schools are orthodox religious schools e.g. Jewish schools near me. They aren't posh, they aren't academically any good, but they fulfil a religious need.

No

I suffer from reverse snobbery and no, I wish I found it funny or knew how to cure it but I can't help but ignore posh sounding people. It is like I just hear 'blah blah blah, money money money' when they talk. Even if they were saying something great like they just saved a litter of puppies from a fire...I would still be like STFU already. And I love animals!

some had their fees paid by charities or religious organisations

Mine were paid by the Govt.

The difference between private school and public school is much greater than that between private and state school IMO

It’s fairly easy to spot in my generation (late 40s), the women who call their mum “mummy” and the men who call breasts “boobies” and rugby “ruggers” are dead public school giveaways... just some random examples , as well as having a weird fondness of bland (nursery) food and getting excited still at the thought of chips and sausages for tea , and even them just asking “where did you go to school?” As I have never been asked this question by a state school educated person

Sometimes, but definitely not always. Intelligence can mask background. Plenty of my bright, witty friends with fantastic careers went to state school (followed by top universities). You’d never guess they went to very average secondaries. And I say that as someone who went to a private school.

I agree with a pp that it’s sometimes easier to spot someone who boarded, rather than a day pupil.

From their linkedin profile.

Vates you'd hate my friend, sounds pish as fuck but was brought up in a 1 bed high-rise council flat and her parents worked in a chip shop. Her dad insisted on elocution lessons. They paid off though, she sounds so pish people assume she is rich and it's opened doors for her.

*posh not pish. No idea what autocorrect was thinking there.

The children quite often have a self assured manner and are very confident talking to adults. I often wonder how the private schools do it. Somebody said lots of opportunities for public speaking and drama.

@LobotheBotanist

The difference between private school and public school is much greater than that between private and state school IMO

It’s fairly easy to spot in my generation (late 40s), the women who call their mum “mummy” and the men who call breasts “boobies” and rugby “ruggers” are dead public school giveaways... just some random examples , as well as having a weird fondness of bland (nursery) food and getting excited still at the thought of chips and sausages for tea , and even them just asking “where did you go to school?” As I have never been asked this question by a state school educated person

DH and his 4 siblings went to public school and none of them has ever done any of these things.

No. My kids do, I didn't. But I did live in an affluent area where the state schools were excellent. So i think it's more socioeconomic background that makes people seem different, not whether they went to a fee paying school.
One of my friends sounds posher than royalty, was featured in Country Life when she got engaged, but went to a state school. Bet no one would guess that though.

Often yes - if they have that confidence and sense of entitlement private school seems to create, plus a posh accent.

But it's probable I have met some who don't have those "tells", so I don't think I can always spot them!

No.
Dh and I were frequently met with 😮 when we worked in the City and it came up which schools we attended!

I used to think that but recently met some really confident and articulate young people who went to state schools. They looked and sounded 100pc privately educated but weren't.

It was great.

My DC are state educated FWIW and I hope they turn out as confident as these women I met.