Can you tell if someone is privately educated?

[bye2020]

Without knowing what school they went to?

Until they're about 25 I think you can tell ~80% of the time. After that it gets progressively trickier and depends on context and what sort of private school they went to.

My DC have very RP accents. partly as a result of having lived in a number of places and partly because me and DH are university educated. We all went to state schools (comps not grammars). But DC tho say that they lack the confidence of some of their less bright peers who were privately educated. My DC went to Durham and Cambridge and still feel less polished and confident! It makes me a little sad because everything else in their backgrounds suggests they should have utmost confidence. DD even said a few of her privately educated friends have been in awe at her exam performance, and yet they still have more confidence. The issue I suppose is whether this confidence gets the less able into positions of power and expertise which they do not deserve!

@GreenlandTheMovie

due to the lack of aspirations or sense of adventure to go and see the world, and slight chavviness. Heriots, Watsons, St George's - I'm looking at you.

I went to one of these schools and I completely agree!

I cannot fathom those people who say that privately educated people have all this self confidence and arrogance. We were all wracked with nerves and worried constantly about who we were and what our futures were supposed to be like. When I meet women who worry about other women's achievements and are really insecure about their own careers and status, that's how I know they went to private school.

The thing I think is most telling are the amount of people on these threads who know sufficient numbers of past pupils from Eton to be able to generalise. The school has an intake of 1300 per year and yet there are consistently handfuls of posters who state my experience of those who attended Eton is....

It's hilarious and along with the trite regarding Oxbridge I think is the single biggest porkie on here.

Public school-boys have a penchant for white sliced bread

@scentedgeranium

My DC have very RP accents. partly as a result of having lived in a number of places and partly because me and DH are university educated. We all went to state schools (comps not grammars). But DC tho say that they lack the confidence of some of their less bright peers who were privately educated. My DC went to Durham and Cambridge and still feel less polished and confident! It makes me a little sad because everything else in their backgrounds suggests they should have utmost confidence. DD even said a few of her privately educated friends have been in awe at her exam performance, and yet they still have more confidence. The issue I suppose is whether this confidence gets the less able into positions of power and expertise which they do not deserve!

IME, confidence definitely does get the less able into positions of power & expertise (see current cabinet etc). Seen it so many times in different industries - academia all well and good, but confidence/veneer is what people see.

I always confused people as I boarded til I was 14, and then went to the local comp. Retrospectively, I'm grateful for having been to both, although was tough at the time. I've got the RP which undoubtedly has helped my confidence but I've also got the bantz and I'm not scared to walk into a situation with people that didn't go to private school (I was v scared of this whilst at private school).

I notice as I get older that I have a "broader" education in some areas than DH, eg I can recite poems and know about Renaissance painters 🤣. But in general I'm not sure it's worth the £. We never countenanced a private education for our DC, but then are lucky they have great state options.

As pp said above, I think the older you get, the less easy it is to tell.

Not really - but it’s not really something I think of much as an adult. I think it was much more obvious at university, but then it was pretty much everyone else’s most recent experience. University is a great leveller though and I don’t think it’s so easy to tell my university peers apart by school now (except maybe the vair vair posh ones). I can, however, often tell amongst my colleagues those who went to different types of university/did different types of course. That could be industry specific, because our technical people would have done one general sort of degree, and in other areas they would have done others. I can also tell the ones who did a law degree usually by how particular they are when it comes to negotiation time.

[quote AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]@GreenlandTheMovie

due to the lack of aspirations or sense of adventure to go and see the world, and slight chavviness. Heriots, Watsons, St George's - I'm looking at you.

I went to one of these schools and I completely agree!

I cannot fathom those people who say that privately educated people have all this self confidence and arrogance. We were all wracked with nerves and worried constantly about who we were and what our futures were supposed to be like. When I meet women who worry about other women's achievements and are really insecure about their own careers and status, that's how I know they went to private school.[/quote]
Oh thank goodness it's not just me! Many exceptions of course but have so many female friends who went to those schools who lack confidence in their careers and have been messed around horribly by men they should have just told to FRO!

And quite a few men who have no careers to speak off, either leaving without (m)any qualifications or dropping out of their career and living off a pittance but in a lovely flat with the mortgage paid off by daddy! The male spinning class instructors/PTs/massage therapists of Scotland must be almost exclusively privately educated!

@Aethelthryth

Public school-boys have a penchant for white sliced bread

Don't we all? Not sure it's indicative of much.

When I meet women who worry about other women's achievements and are really insecure about their own careers and status, that's how I know they went to private school

Don't you think that ridiculous judgement might be a teensy bit coloured by your own miserable school days?

The only thing I noticed is a sense of entitlement I’ve managed to partially beat out of him.

@Marchitectmummy

The thing I think is most telling are the amount of people on these threads who know sufficient numbers of past pupils from Eton to be able to generalise. The school has an intake of 1300 per year and yet there are consistently handfuls of posters who state my experience of those who attended Eton is....

It's hilarious and along with the trite regarding Oxbridge I think is the single biggest porkie on here.

Absolutely! Along with all the private school students who did appallingly in their exams and now earn far less than their state school counterparts, and known personally to the poster of course.

@MrsMiaWallis

Haha yes that too. It's hard to understand why there is such a big push to reduce the privileges associated with private education when the majority who attend private school work in a shop, failed their exams, lack confidence, or rises to the top but are useless and on and on!

I went to private school but none of my colleagues have ever guessed it. I think I've lost my 'posh' accent over the years.

I found out two close friends went to private school as kids and I had no idea. It came up in secondary school conversations. Both are sending their kids to local state schools.

A person who likes to tell you they went private isn’t very classy surely?

[quote Marchitectmummy]@MrsMiaWallis

Haha yes that too. It's hard to understand why there is such a big push to reduce the privileges associated with private education when the majority who attend private school work in a shop, failed their exams, lack confidence, or rises to the top but are useless and on and on![/quote]
Yes, this!

Yes, at work I THINK I can tell, don’t know for sure S it’s rare for colleagues to mention schools. Eg confidence and how the colleagues communicate.

Always. They are more entitled, less understanding of diversity and inclusion and less well rounded generally. Also lacking divergent thinking skills.

There’s so many arsey comments on this thread, that smack of bitterness or jealousy. So many people deride private schooling while at the same time seeming to long to have been sent to one.

Being privately educated in a standard school fee payer really does not magically open doors to promotions and secret clubs. Eton might, admittedly. But they do seem to provide a sense of confidence though.

@Grobagsforever

Always. They are more entitled, less understanding of diversity and inclusion and less well rounded generally. Also lacking divergent thinking skills.

Do you ask everyone you meet whether they were privately educated?

@Grobagsforever illustrates my point nicely. 🙄

Pretty easy to tell.

Private school people will have a quiet confidence, whereas state school are underconfident in many situations.

State school people often feel like they have to prove their worth by "acting posh", which can come across as rather desperate. If you're confident in yourself you don't need to try and impress others.

A basic background in Latin is also a giveaway.

Grammar school pupils end up somewhere near the middle, but more toward the private school end of the spectrum. Posh boarding school pupils also end up quite different to academic day-school pupils, even though they're all lumped together as "private".

@MrsMiaWallis

Don't you think that ridiculous judgement might be a teensy bit coloured by your own miserable school days?

Absolutely! I'm not saying that all girls are like this - obviously that would be hugely judgemental. It's just that, when I am around women who seek to measure their success by comparing themselves to others and who need other people's validation to feel worthy, that to me is a very private school trait.

A basic background in Latin is also a giveaway.

My inner city deprived state primary teaches the kids Latin- I wouldn't rely on that too much as an indicator.

I also think the confidence thing is over stated on this thread- I've seen a great deal of self-doubt from private school grads.

A basic background in Latin is also a giveaway.

It really isn't 😂😂