Can you tell if someone is privately educated?

[bye2020]

Without knowing what school they went to?

I did not go to fee paying school but still managed a top university and now working as a surgeon. Many of my colleagues/peers went to private school but I think as you get older it’s less obvious. Basically any top profession forces you to have the confidence to sell yourself and have that self assurance but privately/publicly educated individuals have that from a much younger age.

See my husband studied Latin but he did not go to private school. Basically he took the time to study it during his phd (he actually is a medic) so no Latin doesn’t give away anything.

It's just that, when I am around women who seek to measure their success by comparing themselves to others and who need other people's validation to feel worthy, that to me is a very private school trait.

Isn't it just indicative of anxiety and low self-esteem? I'm like this and state educated.

No i cant tell unless they tell me.
I can tell who definitely didnt go to private school, but not who did.

I don't think you can at all, the boys who are DS's friends are just the same non speaking tall fluffy haired unshaven stinky teenagers whether they are at private or state schools. I mix them all up because they ate

DS is into rugby and cricket because he's natural good at them rather than the fact that he goes to private school.

@BlairCorneliaWaldorf

rugby = private, football = state

This is just not true. All the state schools in my local area played rugby. I know people who went to to boys private schools in Surrey who played football.

it’s not true in Wales either!

People who went to Welsh medium state schools are often quite confident as, as a pp said they get lots of opportunities to perform in drama and Eisteddfods if they want them.

Always. They are more entitled, less understanding of diversity and inclusion and less well rounded generally. Also lacking divergent thinking skills

Grobags where is it that you come across all these privately educated people?

I find they generally manage to let you know!

People quite often assume I went to private school, because of my job I think rather than my Latin skills! I didn’t.

You can tell off-the-bat when someone has been educated at a public school, not so the children educated at the merely private schools.
The manners, polish and accent give it away, qualities that most private schools very rarely are able to instill in their pupils.
Nowadays all sorts send their children to fee-paying schools thus diluting the usual contingent of middle- and UM offspring who have the aforementioned qualities instilled at home.
Aspirational parents from differing social stratum are sending juniors to fee-paying schools and doing so, they also send their often working-class or god-forfend, lower-middle-class customs and habits and so muddle the pool with 'toilets' and 'pardons' and flat vowels. Little Ruperts et al easily pick up such uncouth habits and so the decline begins.

You wouldn’t be able to tell I did, I don’t shout about it and people only know if they ask why we send DD to private school. I think she has a self confidence that has come from private education although she is only in her second year, i do think she has changed since going in a good way but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.

People often (correctly) assume that I went to one because of my accent even though everyone else sounded local at that school. The trouble is that it's never just an assumption about where you went to school, but also all kinds of other things. My accent is thanks to particular family circumstances that no one could ever guess. Some people are genuinely curious which I don't mind at all. Others point out my accent within seconds of meeting as though I've never noticed myself!

@starlight36

I find they generally manage to let you know!

All of them? Do you quiz everyone to see whether they have simply forgotten to let you know?

@starlight36

I find they generally manage to let you know!

That’s just not true. I went to private school on a scholarship. We were poor and my education cost my Mum nothing, due to my scholarship. I have never told anyone that I went to private school unless they specifically asked.

One thing for certain though - the people on this thread who are convinced they can always spot someone who is privately educated, are going to be people with chips on their shoulders about it. Because it simply isn’t true. You really can’t tell.

I’m so glad there are a few people on this thread saying private schools left them unhappy and lacking in confidence, because that was my experience. Whenever I read on here about how private schools have amazing facilities and give polish, shine, confidence and useful contacts which last a lifetime it’s so alien to my own experience. I only went to a private school between years 7 and 11, thank goodness it wasn’t my whole school life.

It was a terrible school, stuck in the 1950s, despite it being the 1980s. Awful level of teaching, not a sniff of pastoral care, barely any facilities beyond the basics, my bog standard state primary had better facilities. Because of that school I don’t have A levels, let alone a degree (although I hope to rectify this soon). Funnily enough the school doesn’t exist anymore. I envy people who went to decent comprehensives.

My mum’s experience in the 1960s at a very prestigious school has left her completely scarred about private education. To the point where she gets quite upset about the thought of any of her grandchildren going to one.

I'm familiar with some private schools which I'd say provide much less to pupils than a decent comprehensive. They can discourage initiative and independence. I know of a few of these which have closed down, after years, or maybe decades, of falling numbers.
I personally went to a girls' boarding school. It got rid of its careers advisor to save money, and replaced him with a member of staff who always gave the same advice. Academic girls were told to become librarians. Non-academic girls were told to become nursey school teachers. Sixth-formers were warned against working too hard and were told that it was almost impossible to get an A at A'level.

Many of the girls at my school had parents who were self employed & worked incredibly hard to afford the fees

Well obviously no one who's children go to a comp have hard working parents do they?

I hate the, "My parents work hard to send me here" attitude.

Always. They are more entitled, less understanding of diversity and inclusion and less well rounded generally.

OMG. After working in hospitals in Oxford you can spot the privately educated. No Mrs X can't leave her 4 children with, 'the nanny' she doesn't have one.

Why do yo want Y? I'm on call. Oh you thought that as Y has brown skin she could speak to your patient. What language does your patient speak?

I went to a private school and really don't discuss it with anyone. You wouldn't be able to tell. Very few of my ex classmates sent their kids to Private schools, nor would I if I had had the money.
I don't think I got a better education. My kids went to state schools and have done much better for themselves than I have.

The only way ive been able to tell is when school sports comes up

Private schools generally (im sure its not always) do a wider range of sports to a higher level

You most certainly can tell a privately educated person, because they or their parents bang on about it at every opportunity.

Doesn't make them more intelligent than if they weren't though. You can't buy intelligence, as we have seen with our Prime Minister.

It is not about being posh; but privately educated people often have an overwhelming self-confidence that singles them out.

They'll list their secondary school on LinkedIn. People who went to state school don't do this.

I don't think that having been to a private school, or sending your child to a private school, is anything to boast about.
I went to boarding school. I sent my DC to boarding school (on a scholarship). I don't mention either unless asked.

Well generally yes because of posh accents. My husband has a strong regional accent from north of England and went to private school - people are amazed if it comes up in conversation.