MIL wants us to restrict movements so we can see her

[smburke123]

My MIL was meant to go to DH brother for Christmas, she goes there every year. she has never ever gone to any of her other DC. This year he uninvited her because he feels his kids have too many contacts, fair enough. DH's other sister is similar to us, young kids but in school. We have the least number of contacts.

She tells us she might come to us unless DH's sister won't take her. Which I think is rude tbh. Sister took her. She calls me up and says she is coming for a few nights after new year, so we need to restrict movements so we can see her safely.

Just in case people think we are wild. We are not going out much or seeing lots of people. Pretty much doing exactly as the government directs.

AIBU to be annoyed... she wants us to have an extra layer of restrictions so we can see her... even though we are her last resort.

Just say no? Surely she isn't supposed to be visiting anyways?

She can eff off cant she?! Urgh. The entitlement.

What Tier are you in-surely she shouldn’t be visiting each of her children and staying overnight?!

What tier are you / is she? Why does she get to dictate your movements? Why do you come bottom of the pile but still have to stand to attention when she decides it's your turn?

Hmmmm I was ready to say YABU but given the way she's treating you as a last resort I'm inclined to change my mind. I'd probably carry on as you are since you're not being particularly unsafe and just let her know what the risks are.

Just say no, for goodness sake.

If you want her to come just say she's welcome to come but you won't be restricting any movements beforehand.
Yes she's being cheeky by having you as last resort, whether its worth mentioning that only you know.

Where do you live that this is even allowed? If it’s support bubble related she can’t keep chopping and changing who she bubbles with.

Even in tier 2 you’re not supposed to meet indoors with people you don’t live with are you? And I don’t think there are any tier 1 areas left now. So SIBU to visit you in the first place unless outdoors the whole time.

SIBU to treat you as a last resort and expect you to change the way you live your lives to accommodate her. I normally agree people should isolate before seeing vulnerable older people but her attitude is shit so I would just say you can’t do as she asked so can’t see her.

Whats the problem with saying no?

Isn’t it strongly discouraged that whatever tier you’re in you shouldn’t stay overnight with people, especially various households? Even single people who can have a support bubble are only meant to have 1 of those with only 1 other household aren’t they?

Your MIL would annoy me too with this. How much more can you restrict yourself anyway?!

Seriously, say no. Are you her 1 designated support bubble? If not, this is a no brainer.

I am not hugely up on the restrictions as I have young kids not in school, so busy with the BAU. We were not travelling anywhere, going retail shopping or out to restaurants anyway. It is kind of not on my radar. We are tier 2 so can I opt out on a technicality???

She lives on her own so I believe she is allowed to join a bubble for Christmas? She has joined the sister now. The sister will lose the will to live if she has her for too long. Ordinarily I wouldn't shaft his sister.

@LagunaBubbles

We did invite her to stay with us for Christmas, I could tell by the way she said yes she was going to see if she got a better offer..... poor DH a thought she was going to come until his sister had to tell him. Which I feel was a bit unnecessary... she could have just been straight. We know we are bottom of the pile anyway.

I'm sure you aren't supposed to keep chopping and changing support bubbles. Tell her this.

Just say no. Unless she is part of your designated support bubble (doesn't sound like it) then she is simply not allowed to stay with you according to the government requirements. The Xmas bubble was permitted for one day only, that has now come and gone.

It also sounds very rude and as if you are the after-thought !

The Christmas bubbles were just for Christmas Day. She’s allowed a support bubble all the time if she lives alone but she can’t chop and change whenever she fancies. It would also mean you can’t join any other support bubble if you’re hers.

But you don’t have to agree if what she’s asking of you isn’t manageable. It sounds like she won’t want to see you when the kids are in school, so your family doesn’t sound like the right choice for her support bubble as you can’t pull the DC out of school for two weeks every time she visits.

The Christmas issue is separate. Are you her support bubble? Do you see her on a regular basis as though you are the same household? Does she see other people?

I have a feeling the whole of the UK will be in tier 4 very very soon, non of us really know so on those grounds I would say,

You are welcome to come but with a natinal tier 4 lock down looming I cannot possibly curtail the small freedoms we have at present for the sake of the dc.

You would be breaking the current rules to do any of this. Just say no. And do try and keep up ... it's important!

She can’t chop and change which household she is a bubble with, and Christmas day has been and gone anyway.

Just say she can’t come!

How can you not know what the rules are? This is literally life or death for people, it's so important that everyone knows the rules and restrictions.

Tier 2 Guidance for meeting indoors.

Meeting indoors
You can only meet socially with friends and family indoors who you either:
• live with
• have formed a support bubblee_ with
Unless a legal exemption applies.
‘Indoors’ means any indoor setting, including:
• private homes
• other indoor venues such as pubs and restaurants

Rules aside, you obviously aren’t keen for her to stay and to restrict your life in the run up. Just say no, but you’ll happily meet outside for a fun day out with the kids. If you are tier 2 I assume attractions are open, so go meet at a zoo or NT garden or something

SIBU you do not invite yourself and also impose further restrictions on others.
Also she does seem to be taking the Mickey out of "support" bubbles ( how long is she leaving between bubbles?).