MIL wants us to restrict movements so we can see her

[smburke123]

My MIL was meant to go to DH brother for Christmas, she goes there every year. she has never ever gone to any of her other DC. This year he uninvited her because he feels his kids have too many contacts, fair enough. DH's other sister is similar to us, young kids but in school. We have the least number of contacts.

She tells us she might come to us unless DH's sister won't take her. Which I think is rude tbh. Sister took her. She calls me up and says she is coming for a few nights after new year, so we need to restrict movements so we can see her safely.

Just in case people think we are wild. We are not going out much or seeing lots of people. Pretty much doing exactly as the government directs.

AIBU to be annoyed... she wants us to have an extra layer of restrictions so we can see her... even though we are her last resort.

*Oh crikey MIL, I’m so sorry but you chose X to be your support bubble, none of us are allowed more than one. Hopefully we’ll be able to get together when the restrictions are lifted.’
Or just tell her you’re not feeling too great...

Just tell her straight the rules don't allow her to come and stay.

Just tell her she can't keep chopping and changing bubbles because there's a bloody global pandemic going on!!! Silly woman!
MIL not you!

Pretty much doing exactly as the government directs

I wonder how you are doing this when you don't even seem to know what the rules are?

@Goodbye2020Hello2021

*Oh crikey MIL, I’m so sorry but you chose X to be your support bubble, none of us are allowed more than one. Hopefully we’ll be able to get together when the restrictions are lifted.’ Or just tell her you’re not feeling too great...

I would say the first bit in your post.

I wouldn’t lie about being unwell when there’s a perfectly legitimate reason not to have her come and stay.

First of all, clarify in your own mind what the rules are.

Then quite simply, tell her you’d love to see her, but you are sticking to the rules and that they are there to protect her. Tell her you will love to see her again once it is allowed.

Simples.

@yoyo1234

SIBU you do not invite yourself and also impose further restrictions on others. Also she does seem to be taking the Mickey out of "support" bubbles ( how long is she leaving between bubbles?).

This^^.

If you let her stay, YOU will get fined if the government discovers it, as it's your home. Say no.

She isn't allowed to switch between families she bubbles with. If she has already bubbled with SiL then sadly that means she can't come to you. Even in tier 2 and you can only meet up with her outdoors with no more than 6 persons present (in tier3 this can be in a private garden. If either you or she normally lives in a tier3 area then it can't be a private garden and must be in a public park or similar. Tier4 and no meet ups allowed)

She cannot come and stay with you.

Your MIL is actually putting you and your children at risk as she has been with 2 other households and now wants to come to you? She is very cheeky to expose you to extra risk and then ask you to restrict your movements!

You can’t keep switching bubbles it doesn’t work like that so that can be your reason.

Just tell her you’ve been in contact with someone who has tested positive and you have to self isolate. That should put her off.

She isn't allowed to. End of.

@unicornparty

How can you not know what the rules are? This is literally life or death for people, it's so important that everyone knows the rules and restrictions.

This. There is no excuse for every NT adult in the UK. YANBU to tell her no.

On LBC the other day their “expert” on the Covid rules said you can change your support bubble but have to isolate for 10 days between each bubble - so there wouldn’t be enough time between xmas and new year to do this. Sending sympathy though, I have very pushy in-laws who keep trying for overnight visits and we have to point out the rules every time!!

Legally there should be at least 10 days between changing bubbles and she does seem to be abusing the concept.

Is she isolating to protect you?

She sounds awful.

"I am not hugely up on the restrictions...It is kind of not on my radar."

SIBU but so are you not to even find out what the rules are. Very selfish attitude IMO.

Juat say no . The cheistmas period ends on the 28th anyway, so ahe cant come and stay, and she isnt in your support bubble which is not supposed to change like the weather

@Flapjak

Juat say no . The cheistmas period ends on the 28th anyway, so ahe cant come and stay, and she isnt in your support bubble which is not supposed to change like the weather

The Christmas period ending on 28th got cancelled. It was Christmas Day only?!

It sounds as though by the time she would be allowed to stay with you, your young children would be back in school, so your opportunities to isolate will be limited?

If they aren't in school it will be because concerns about virus spread have increased, and she really should be staying at home.

Honestly this is why we can't get a proper grip on this virus. The OP apparently follows the government's rules but doesnt actually know what they are and other posters still think we had a Christmas period of relaxed restrictions up to the 28th when it was huge national news that it was reduced to one day only. What hope is there for us!

Sorry confused - I see your children aren't yet school age.

I don't think it is selfish to not know restrictions that came in on the 20th, when you have absolutely nothing planned apart from minding 3 dc under 5 and 2 dogs.

I thought reading the restrictions would make me judgemental of others, which must be exhausting?

@Bunnybigears Exactly! No hope whatsoever.

@Flapjak

Juat say no . The cheistmas period ends on the 28th anyway, so ahe cant come and stay, and she isnt in your support bubble which is not supposed to change like the weather

@Flapjak how did you miss that change?!!! Sounds like you’re in your own kind of special bubble!!