To think you don't let your kids stay up all night when you have company?

[GoToFuckingBed]

DB is visiting for the first time in 18 months with his two kids. We've been separated for a long time by borders and lockdowns. I was obviously very excited to see him, and my nephews too. We spend all day doing things with the kids, then have dinner and play a few games and usually (in the past) the kids would go to bed, and then we can have a bottle of wine, a grown up chat and watch some post watershed TV. Except every single night he has said to his kids they can stay up as late as they want, because it's Christmas. It's the fifth and final night they are with us, and I've just gone to bed before the kids again. They compete to try and make it to midnight and as a mum of a two year old, I can't even make it that late. I get one or two nights as a treat, but I'm annoyed we've had no time to chat about things that we can't say in front of the kids. Annoyed that we haven't got to watch any grown up TV. Just annoyed we've had no child free time! His kids are 7, 9 and 11. Their usual bedtime is 7.30/8pm. I really think they could of gone to bed on time atleast once, so we could catch up properly. I feel a bit sad. It just seems rude to me. AIBU?

or maybe he didn't want to "watch grown-up tv"

Unless you live in a studio flat, I am not sure how you don't manage to have a normal conversation whilst the kids are busy in another room!

Unless you live in a studio flat, I am not sure how you don't manage to have a normal conversation whilst the kids are busy in another room!

It's not that hard to imagine surely. Lots of houses have only one living room. With an extra 4 guests and a 3 person family, they probably don't have much extra space - perhaps one smallish bedroom being shared by all 3 children plus dad?

Am I the only one wondering what this adult TV is that the op can't cope with out for 5 days??

@AverageContents

Where are you? Not UK? I'm wondering where it's ok to have another household staying over?

Fgs shut up 😂

Lots of houses have only one living room. With an extra 4 guests and a 3 person family, they probably don't have much extra space

fine, but the kids don't all need a separate bedroom when they visit their aunt! Surely they are close enough in age that they can watch a movie or something. If you really want some adult time, it's not that difficult

Yabu, it is xmas and you expect a 11 year old to go to bed at 8pm? 😂

My 9 year old is still awake now - it’s Xmas.

@AverageContents

Where are you? Not UK? I'm wondering where it's ok to have another household staying over?

There’s always one covid angel on every thread 😂 yawwwwn.

To all the haters of the covid concious: when your loved ones have been hospitalised with covid , and when as a nurse you spend your days caring for covid patients and seeing / hearing things that most people could not even contemplate, and when you have colleagues developing long covid , and even dying, it becomes all consuming.

For some of us, especially in the NHS, covid is all consuming.
Just perhaps have a bit of compassion the next time you feel like being sweary at someone for being covid concious.

For many covid is worrying, it is very inconvenient, extremely stressful etc.

For some on a daily basis it is trauma both physically and mentally.

YANBU. Children totally change the dynamic. If you’ve been with them all day long, you’d think it would be nice to put them to bed and have some adult time together. I once arranged to meet a friend in a pub for Sunday lunch and she turned up with her 14 year old daughter without telling me so the three of us sat there and I couldn’t tell her half of the private stuff I’d wanted to.

@Charlie63849

Yabu, it is xmas and you expect a 11 year old to go to bed at 8pm? 😂

My 9 year old is still awake now - it’s Xmas.

Not just my 9yo who was awake past 10.30 then.

@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls

To all the haters of the covid concious: when your loved ones have been hospitalised with covid , and when as a nurse you spend your days caring for covid patients and seeing / hearing things that most people could not even contemplate, and when you have colleagues developing long covid , and even dying, it becomes all consuming.

For some of us, especially in the NHS, covid is all consuming.
Just perhaps have a bit of compassion the next time you feel like being sweary at someone for being covid concious.

For many covid is worrying, it is very inconvenient, extremely stressful etc.

For some on a daily basis it is trauma both physically and mentally.

Well, some of us are fed up with Covid being the only illness, or even topic, that seems to matter anymore. This thread isn't about bloody covid ffs.

Well, some of us are fed up with Covid being the only illness, or even topic, that seems to matter anymore.

too bad.

It's covid that is affecting us all.

@heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping

Well, some of us are fed up with Covid being the only illness, or even topic, that seems to matter anymore.

too bad.

It's covid that is affecting us all.

Yeah, well, it's not the only thing that's affecting us all.

@Couldbeouting77 too bad . We are in a pandemic.

I dont think the war effort consisted of people telling each other to shut up about the war . There was mutual support and empathy for the restrictions placed on peoples lives .

Some people are sacrificing their own wellbeing on the frontline to get us through this . And no most care workers, nhs workers or teachers did not sign up to work in a pandemic managed by a woefully shite Govt when we did our training years ago.

So just a bit of respect might help .

Grow up @Couldbeouting77 .

Lets hope it doesn't happen to you or your cherished ones . Karma has a habit of biting people on the arse . Good luck .

[quote IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls]@Couldbeouting77 too bad . We are in a pandemic.

I dont think the war effort consisted of people telling each other to shut up about the war . There was mutual support and empathy for the restrictions placed on peoples lives .

Some people are sacrificing their own wellbeing on the frontline to get us through this . And no most care workers, nhs workers or teachers did not sign up to work in a pandemic managed by a woefully shite Govt when we did our training years ago.

So just a bit of respect might help . [/quote]
The thread wasn't about coronavirus. Simple as that. People who can't help but steer every conversation towards covid can stick to the 'coronavirus' topic. 🙄

He's your brother, why couldn't you say something to him instead of serving in frustration and feeling the trip has been ruined?

@IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls

Grow up *@Couldbeouting77* .

Lets hope it doesn't happen to you or your cherished ones . Karma has a habit of biting people on the arse . Good luck .

Let's hope what doesn't happen to my loved ones? A deadly illness? Too late. Get your head out of your fucking arse, perhaps?

Tbh on the few days around Christmas, anything goes as far as bed times are concerned. I think your brother was being perfectly reasonable allowing them to stay up.

OP you're not unreasonable to want quiet adult time in the evenings. I totally understand why you want to talk privately.

You are unreasonable to expect a certain shape to the day without telling DB then get upset that he doesn't assume the same.

Have a chat to him about it! Suggest putting on a kids' film they can watch from 8-10pm each night so you can have a drink and talk.

I would chase them upstairs if they were mine, but people are different so I would either just crack on as normal and (nicely) ignore them after 7.30pm - or just say to your DB let’s have on or to kid free nights and send them upstairs for pizza and gaming/film

A poster suggested having a glass of wine in the kitchen... this is what most of us have to do!

The children are not tots they are old enough to entertain themselves for an hour so OP could have a chat with her brother.