To think it doesn’t really matter how I hold my cutlery.

[Frosty2894]

With all the things going on in the world right now, I’m writing a post about how we hold cutlery.

I remember being told I’m cack handed by my grandmother when I was a child 🤨 she didn’t say it in a nasty way but said she was similar.

I’m right handed. I hold my fork in my right hand and knife in left. This is the way I’ve always done it and felt comfortable, was never told or taught the correct way.

For years my partner has joked about how I can’t hold a knife and fork properly and even mentioned trying it the other way. I’ve tried - it doesn’t feel right to me. He told me that his mother would probably tell me to switch hands as it’s her ‘pet gate’. We’ve been together for 9 years. He’s not mentioned it for a while (until tonight) and I’ve avoided eating in front of his mother as much as possible else I feel paranoid. Feel like I’m being watched!

Generally my table manners are okay I think. I’m not a complete slob when It comes to eating or anything!

Aibu to think it really doesn’t matter? Partner has mentioned it tonight and does it really bleddy matter?!

@froggywentacarolling

Honestly Sharonspoisonedpud and Janegrey333 I don't understand why you're getting so defensive. Some of the posts here come across as really quite unwordly, and with a certain degree of desperation to be accepted by "posh" people, when in reality this kind of petty squabbling over archaic etiquette is exactly the kind of thing the upper classes deride as "common." (Far more so than using the wrong cutlery.)

Regardless of the reason why this "rule" was originally invented, it simply has no bearing on modern life unless your table is too small, which is bad hosting. If your table is sufficient size then there's no risk of bumping elbows, so the rule no longer has any practical purpose and therefore is archaic.

Besides all these comments saying, "I promise posh people are secretly judging you!!" First, you've clearly not spent all that much time amongst those people. I have, and I've never seen such bad manners. Second, why do you care so much about impressing people who will never accept you and don't give a shit what you think about them? And realistically how often is anyone on this thread eating formal dinners with the aristocracy anyway?

(Lest I am coming across as a frightful snob, I am not. I don't judge anyone by their class, background, disability, or anything else. The upper class members of my own family don't even accept me, since my mum was in immigrant. Fortunately I also don't give a shit.)

Jolly good.

@Alwaysandforeverhere

I do love these threads for showing the I must be seen as posh vs those who may well actually be posh. Basically commoners and actual posh people give no fucks. Those in the middle wishing to not be seen as common give all the fucks.

Oh please! Not that old chestnut again. I’m surprised people actually believe this rot, these days.

@Janegrey333 How are people bumping elbows, or touching anyone else when eating? Apart from very small children I have never witnessed anyone who touches another person while eating.

You really think those who truly move in such circles give a dam about how Edward across the tables used his knife or fork? They really don’t.

It’s a class thing those trying to act above are those most het up about such etiquette while dining with friends.

Think of it as like xl television sets. Those who must have one and show it off really are not posh. Those who may have one in a proper cinema room do not show it off in their living rooms.

Oh please! Not that old chestnut again. I’m surprised people actually believe this rot, these days.

Well given that the circles you move in seem to be straight out the 19th century...

Maybe she’s confusing rich with posh. Very different types of people.

@Alwaysandforeverhere

You really think those who truly move in such circles give a dam about how Edward across the tables used his knife or fork? They really don’t.

It’s a class thing those trying to act above are those most het up about such etiquette while dining with friends.

Think of it as like xl television sets. Those who must have one and show it off really are not posh. Those who may have one in a proper cinema room do not show it off in their living rooms.

A comparable example is my MiL being aghast at the thought of people buying clothing from charity chops ('how sad can't they afford new clothes??') It's an attitude that almost certainly stems from her working class background, a history of poverty and insecurity that they've worked hard to overcome, and an overall sense that charity shop clothing is a sign of impoverishment.

This thread has made LadBible 🙈

www.ladbible.com/news/news-mum-sparks-cutlery-debate-after-admitting-she-holds-knife-in-left-hand-20201228?source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR21C_gXCh8zuIIgYTy4jUDTkcnnkWj0gG7oYnob9ecGTZcZ63YX8PqrJCc

So how do you know whether somebody is left-handed, and thus 'permitted' under your rules, or right-handed, and therefore a social pariah?

They check which hand the person tugs their forelock with.

@iklboo

So how do you know whether somebody is left-handed, and thus 'permitted' under your rules, or right-handed, and therefore a social pariah?

They check which hand the person tugs their forelock with.

Handwriting test administered to all dinner party attendees by a matronly mumsnetter. Result - 'left handed'/'right handed' - to be displayed on your place card.

He is BVU and I would probably throw it at him tell him

I’ve never seen anyone hold a knife like a pen. Some of you lot must have terrible pen grips.

Holding knife like a pen - It looks a bit like this

Longer jacket sleeve and nobody would be any the wiser

I just asked DP how one is supposed to hold cutlery. His answer?

With your hands.

I just asked DP how one is supposed to hold cutlery. His answer?

With your hands.

Surely the easiest solution is just to put everything on a slice of pizza, thereby removing any need for cutlery?

Vegetables? Whack them on a pizza.

Slice of cheese? Put it on a pizza.

Slice of toast? Put it on top of the pizza.

Trifle? Err... you could try?

@froggywentacarolling - oooh, or shove it all in a barm cake. Oh no. Can't do that. There'll be a new war about what a soft roll is supposed to be called.

[quote iklboo]**@froggywentacarolling* - oooh, or shove it all in a barm cake. Oh no. Can't do that. There'll be a new war about what a soft roll is supposed* to be called. [/quote]
Do what I do, stuff it into a roti with your bare hands.

I'm right handed, eat with my fork in my right hand and wear my running watch on right hand. Never been able to do this the other way around

@iklboo

Holding knife like a pen - It looks a bit like this

Ridiculously fey, in other words.

@verylittlepen

I’ve never seen anyone hold a knife like a pen. Some of you lot must have terrible pen grips.

Probably because people have learned it is poor table behaviour?

[quote LittleRa]This thread has made LadBible 🙈

www.ladbible.com/news/news-mum-sparks-cutlery-debate-after-admitting-she-holds-knife-in-left-hand-20201228?source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR21C_gXCh8zuIIgYTy4jUDTkcnnkWj0gG7oYnob9ecGTZcZ63YX8PqrJCc[/quote]
God, there must be a dearth of more titivating news.

It does matter in certain circumstances, you will be judged for it. I think correct manners are important socially. By all means do what you want at home but everyone needs to know how to eat when you are out and what forks and spoons to use when.

@iklboo

Holding knife like a pen - It looks a bit like this

Who holds a pen like that? Surely it would be at a weird angle to the paper or you would have to bend your wrist a lot.