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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When people ask “what did you get?”

83 replies

CardoMondo · 26/12/2020 08:17

I HATE this!! It’s so bloody grabby and presumptuous ... like Christmas is all about “what did you get?”. Do you ask people this after Christmas? It annoys me so much.
Do people ever stop to think that maybe the person they’re asking didn’t receive fuck all and now they feel awkward at having been asked about it?
In my family ... DH wanted a new tv so he ordered one and we said it was his Christmas present. He asked me what I wanted but I couldn’t be arsed to think of anything and he knows I’m not bothered about receiving anything so I got fuck all 😂 I’m going to tell him to order me a Fitbit thing for my dog as my present ... preferably in the sale. Now if anyone asks me “what did DH get you” I’d have to say “nothing” “what did you get DH?” “A £2k telly”

Sounds fucking terrible but it isn’t!!

I’m dreading people asking this stupid fucking question “what did you get!”

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 26/12/2020 08:21

I always think it's a really odd question for an adult to ask another adult. As kids we used to ask each other this which is fair enough, they were often more exciting gifts!

Buzzthedragon · 26/12/2020 08:22

Can’t imagine ever being asked that tbh?
I’ve never once been asked that I don’t think!

FippertyGibbett · 26/12/2020 08:23

I think it’s a reasonable question to ask given the time of year.
You could always say that you had a joint present of a TV, as I assume you watch it too.

Nicolastuffedone · 26/12/2020 08:23

Say you got a Fitbit thing for your dog....l

Tanfastic · 26/12/2020 08:24

Just say bits and bobs. That's my
Standard answer.

I don't think
It's an odd question to ask!

zigaziga · 26/12/2020 08:25

Socks here.

I really like them. Grin They’re wool and they’re keeping my feet warm.

I was asked this by wider family when we made the obligatory phone call. I do find it a bit weird when it’s a grown adult but then many, many MN threads here have taught me that the country is filled with adults who have very precise views about what they want for Christmas so..

TheRuleofStix · 26/12/2020 08:25

You sound very angry - I would assume that you’re pissed off that you’re pissed off that your shift didn’t buy you anything! Just make something up. I couldn’t get that worked up about someone just making conversation Confused.

TheRuleofStix · 26/12/2020 08:26

Omg! Dh not shift - bloody autocorrect!

JamieLeesCurtains · 26/12/2020 08:27

I have honestly never been asked that since I left school.

Who is asking you??

Sally872 · 26/12/2020 08:27

It is just making conversation, so while I would be offended by the question it never comes up with the adults I know. If someone got something particularly special they might mention it.

Don't dread the question either though it is just fixing a lull in conversation or someone excited to tell you what they got. So "we haven't bothered this year/we treated ourselves to a TV and a fitbit. What did you get?"

Sally872 · 26/12/2020 08:28

Wouldn't be offended

OverTheRainbow88 · 26/12/2020 08:28

Maybe people are trying to make polite small talk

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 26/12/2020 08:32

It's a pretty standard question.
Lots of people are happy to say, if you're nit just say something like 'we decided to get the TV between us'. 'The kids got me a box of chocolates' or whatever, it really doesn't matter, stop seething - it's not worth the angst. It's no more offensive than talk about the weather.

Djouce · 26/12/2020 08:33

@JamieLeesCurtains

I have honestly never been asked that since I left school.

Who is asking you??

This. And primary school.
OrangeGinLemonFanta · 26/12/2020 08:34

Nobody really cares what you got, they're making polite conversation and showing an interest in your life.

topcat2014 · 26/12/2020 08:34

Well I got slippers. And chocs from dd.
#happy with that

Oysterbabe · 26/12/2020 08:35

Just tell the truth Confused No one actually cares, they're just making conversation.

Shinylikeglass · 26/12/2020 08:36

I don't think it's a question that's often asked, but when it is it's very often asked by "loved up" women who have "perfect" partners who spend loads at Christmas to make up for being compmete shits the rest if the year. The women who spend a lot of time crying in the toilet at work.

For people in healthy adult relationships, the answer is "oh we don't bother much with presents for us".

LePatissier · 26/12/2020 08:37

I generally answer nosy/grabby questions like these in a roundabout way that discourages ppl from wanting to ask further...

"I got to spend quality time with the people I love most -nothing could top that!"

"What I really cherished were peaceful days that allowed for meaningful conversation/connection with my family/pet/book."

You may receive a pained smile or irritated huff/eyeroll in response, but you will have successfully shut down that type of quizzing (hopefully for good).

If they want to start telling you about all the awesome BIG expensive presents THEY got, you can also just shut them down and ask them what MEANINGFUL encounters they experienced over the Christmas break...

the shocked silence that will follow should give you enough time to allow you to make your exit/hang up/hit them over the head with a shovel.

YMMV
I still recommend giving it a try.
And enjoy the ensuing serenity...

BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler · 26/12/2020 08:41

You say you are not bothered about receiving anything, so it seems a bit strange that you are so bothered about people asking what you have received.

anameIcallmyself · 26/12/2020 08:42

@CardoMondo

I HATE this!! It’s so bloody grabby and presumptuous ... like Christmas is all about “what did you get?”. Do you ask people this after Christmas? It annoys me so much. Do people ever stop to think that maybe the person they’re asking didn’t receive fuck all and now they feel awkward at having been asked about it? In my family ... DH wanted a new tv so he ordered one and we said it was his Christmas present. He asked me what I wanted but I couldn’t be arsed to think of anything and he knows I’m not bothered about receiving anything so I got fuck all 😂 I’m going to tell him to order me a Fitbit thing for my dog as my present ... preferably in the sale. Now if anyone asks me “what did DH get you” I’d have to say “nothing” “what did you get DH?” “A £2k telly”

Sounds fucking terrible but it isn’t!!

I’m dreading people asking this stupid fucking question “what did you get!”

The correct response when asked what you would like for Christmas and you're not sure is "I'm not sure. How about you surprise me?" Don't let get away with being so lazy and selfish.
plannit · 26/12/2020 08:43

You sound like a proper Grinch!

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 26/12/2020 08:45

So much judgement here! I don't ask what people got because frankly it's none of my business and I don't actually care, but I think some people do as small talk, it's the kind of thing I might be asked by a colleague next week, did you have a nice Christmas? Her anything nice? Etc.
To say only people with horrendous relationships get given gifts from their partner at Christmas to compensate for shit year round behaviour and those in healthy relationships don't bother is laughable. I have a husband who pulls his weight all year round, supports my career and aspirations, recognises our child is as much his responsibility as mine and buys me thoughtful Christmas gifts, he's not a bloody miracle just a normal human being who isn't a complete bastard or cocklodger.....

Coffeeandcocopops · 26/12/2020 08:56

I was asked exactly that question last night by text by my friend. My boyfriend and I limit the £ we spend as we don’t need anything and are using the £ to go away for a nice weekend. I just answered odds and sods but it dies feel grabby. As an adult I don’t have a large family so don’t actually get many presents. So I have always found it awkward.

Shinylikeglass · 26/12/2020 09:00

Ok, I'll clarify, not everyone who gets good presents is in a terrible relationship, but the people who want to tell you about them are IMO and IME, the people who ask are really only doing it so they can tell you how much their "wonderful" husband spent on them

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