When people ask “what did you get?”

[CardoMondo]

I HATE this!! It’s so bloody grabby and presumptuous ... like Christmas is all about “what did you get?”. Do you ask people this after Christmas? It annoys me so much.
Do people ever stop to think that maybe the person they’re asking didn’t receive fuck all and now they feel awkward at having been asked about it?
In my family ... DH wanted a new tv so he ordered one and we said it was his Christmas present. He asked me what I wanted but I couldn’t be arsed to think of anything and he knows I’m not bothered about receiving anything so I got fuck all 😂 I’m going to tell him to order me a Fitbit thing for my dog as my present ... preferably in the sale. Now if anyone asks me “what did DH get you” I’d have to say “nothing” “what did you get DH?” “A £2k telly”

Sounds fucking terrible but it isn’t!!

I’m dreading people asking this stupid fucking question “what did you get!”

The correct response when asked what you would like for Christmas and you're not sure is "I'm not sure. How about you surprise me?" Don't let get away with being so lazy and selfish.

If I couldn’t think of a single thing that I wanted or needed, I wouldn’t want anyone else to waste their money trying to guess what might please me.

How is asking what someone got "grabby", unless of course the person then asks you to hand it over?!

FWIW I only ever ask this of children who I know, or think, still "believe", but I'm not sure how it's offensive?

People say it to my children but I've not had people ask me that as an adult.

The correct response when asked what you would like for Christmas and you're not sure is "I'm not sure. How about you surprise me?" Don't let get away with being so lazy and selfish

No it is not, this is a terrible response, and it is not lazy or selfish to not want to waste time and money on giving unwanted gifts, every single piece of research shows that the value of received presents are massively lower than the money spent.

Giving christmas presents is an extremely wasteful process, one of the ways to make it less wasteful is ask what people want.

If you really want a "surprise" make sure there's a 5 quid limit or something, your finances and the planet will appreciate it.

I am a grinch, I hate Christmas! As soon as I can get away with it I’m going to start spending Christmas abroad, away from all the shite! False smiles, ridiculous and selfish expectations, crap TV and utter bullshit that is “Christmas”

If I could go back to the Victorian times and experience a proper Christmas without all the grabby shit I would, but modern day Christmas with ridiculous mountains of presents all over Facebook and grown women boasting about receiving their 5th Lous Vouton (sp??) bag etc can do one!

@CardoMondo

I am a grinch, I hate Christmas! As soon as I can get away with it I’m going to start spending Christmas abroad, away from all the shite! False smiles, ridiculous and selfish expectations, crap TV and utter bullshit that is “Christmas”

If I could go back to the Victorian times and experience a proper Christmas without all the grabby shit I would, but modern day Christmas with ridiculous mountains of presents all over Facebook and grown women boasting about receiving their 5th Lous Vouton (sp??) bag etc can do one!

You need to chnage you friends and/or you FB

The only presents I've seen on my feed are very small children ripping off paper. I didn't see a single pile of beautifully wrapped presents and I haven't seen anything at all about adults' presents.

No idea what I got. DH and I were too busy working through the mound of DS's lovely presents from our very generous family. Our presents are still wrapped under the tree.

My Facebook has been full of it. I think my New Years resolution should be to come off Facebook because it just winds me up!

“Lots of lovely things” is my go-to response. If anyone enquired further I’d probably give them an in-depth list of each and every single thing, including some made-up stuff, to put them off asking again

@Shinylikeglass

I don't think it's a question that's often asked, but when it is it's very often asked by "loved up" women who have "perfect" partners who spend loads at Christmas to make up for being compmete shits the rest if the year. The women who spend a lot of time crying in the toilet at work.

For people in healthy adult relationships, the answer is "oh we don't bother much with presents for us".

What a load of shite. Yet another thing mumsnet is so weird about - along with weddings, proposals, being determined not to have friends.

It is absolutely fine and healthy and normal to be in a good relationship and buy one another presents. You’re not better people in more worthy relationships for not buying each other presents

I didn't want to start yet another thread on Christmas presents but just wanted to ask has anyone visited relatives on "the day" and been handed your present(s) without any wrapping paper? Nothing to do with them running out of the stuff as you can see in the corner of the room some rolls of it!

Surely half the fun of receiving a gift is to unwrap it?

If social media is your trigger then avoid it!

Unless you live in a part of the country that is in a very low tier, then this year it’s been possible to avoid the palaver. No Christmas markets, fairs, carol concerts, pantos etc.

Be as Grinch like to your heart’s content but if you are on Facebook on Christmas Day then you need to take responsibility for fuelling your own misery.

i feel exactly the same op.
it feels so childish

i received the question last year at work,

One good thing about my Facebook yesterday was the amount of people who were out bright and early with their dog. Lovely to see videos of crisp fields and frosty breath ... much nicer than the people sat at home counting their presents 🤮

My facebook hasn't been full of it. I follow only people I like and people are like are similar to me with not posting bullshit and tacky crap.
Birds of the feather and all that.😁

@CardoMondo

I am a grinch, I hate Christmas! As soon as I can get away with it I’m going to start spending Christmas abroad, away from all the shite! False smiles, ridiculous and selfish expectations, crap TV and utter bullshit that is “Christmas”

If I could go back to the Victorian times and experience a proper Christmas without all the grabby shit I would, but modern day Christmas with ridiculous mountains of presents all over Facebook and grown women boasting about receiving their 5th Lous Vouton (sp??) bag etc can do one!

This sounds simple.

Remove social media aps from your phone and put it down for the day.

Engage with your family/ kids doing things you enjoy.

Pick a movie or two you love or want to watch instead of the shote tv.

It’s the same as any other day of the year it’s whatever you want to make it.

I honestly had the best day yesterday and got lovely practical presents from DH that i would never have splashed out on but will have for year but my most cherished is a cheap pair of earings the kids picked out!

Incidentally unless someone says - thats nice where did you get that I would never volunteer it was for Christmas or ask someone else.

I also would never post it on social media. I am sure there are millions like me.

You need to work out why you are feeling like this and eliminate the elements that make you feel negative.

Christmas abroad is great but everywhere we have been is just as Christmassy 🤷‍♀️

I don't think it's a big deal. It's just one of the things people say to make conversation after Christmas because most people do give and receive prezzies, like 'did u have a good break'. We don't do big prezzies in my family so I just brush it off

God people get so offended by everything. It's called small talk. They don't actually particularly care what you got for Christmas it's just something to say.

This reminds me of those precious pregnancy threads where women moan about people commenting on your bump - again, just small talk, I'm sure you'd feel much more offended if they passed no comment.

I have a friend who has asked this question every year since we were 17. And after everything I say she'd say "and...?" and seems genuinely disappointed that the list doesn't go on forever.

I just can't think of anything less interesting than hearing about other people's presents, so I never remember to ask. I'm sure she's as boggled that I never ask first as I am that she ever bothers.

@CardoMondo

One good thing about my Facebook yesterday was the amount of people who were out bright and early with their dog. Lovely to see videos of crisp fields and frosty breath ... much nicer than the people sat at home counting their presents 🤮

I also have a dog. He got a present too from the kids and they chose him a new dog bed.

Is this ok seeing as I did not post it on social media and it made them happy?

I think you need to realise that not everyone lives life by your rules and they do what makes them happy. If seeing it on social media makes you happy why not try a break from social media for January and see if you feel better?

@sixthtimelucky

God people get so offended by everything. It's called small talk. They don't actually particularly care what you got for Christmas it's just something to say.

This reminds me of those precious pregnancy threads where women moan about people commenting on your bump - again, just small talk, I'm sure you'd feel much more offended if they passed no comment.

I have no objection to smalltalk — that’s what the weather is for. But it’s not hard to make small talk that isn’t stupid, childish or doesn’t take into account that the person will have heard the same brilliantly ‘original’ comment a hundred times already.

I ask that all the time, I don't get presents myself and am quite comfortable saying that, I think it's just showing an interest in people and their Christmas

I think its different if the people dont have kids, when catching up with friends last night they have all got lots of alcohol and novelty gifts etc. My partner and I have a big difference in disposable income, I bought him a new gaming device, he spent a lot less on me but got practical gifts that were really thoughtful and lots of treats I wouldnt buy myself. However they would have sounded quite dull after hearing about my partners gift lol.

It’s very common amongst my family, we always ask each other “so did you get anything nice” what we mean is did you get the present you were asking for or did you get a nice surprise?
It’s a fun way of carrying on the conversation. Yesterday on FaceTime with my Cousin she asked “ooh did you get anything nice?” “Yes I did, would you believe I got an electric blanket! No more cold toes in bed!” Cue masses of laughter because my cold toes in bed is a much discussed problem in my family. Likewise I said to my cousin “did you get y?” “Oh my gosh, yes! Actually can you believe Nan bought it for me? I didn’t even know she knew about y” Cue discussion about Nan and her forgetfulness. It’s just a nice way of moving the conversation forward.