When people ask “what did you get?”

[CardoMondo]

I HATE this!! It’s so bloody grabby and presumptuous ... like Christmas is all about “what did you get?”. Do you ask people this after Christmas? It annoys me so much.
Do people ever stop to think that maybe the person they’re asking didn’t receive fuck all and now they feel awkward at having been asked about it?
In my family ... DH wanted a new tv so he ordered one and we said it was his Christmas present. He asked me what I wanted but I couldn’t be arsed to think of anything and he knows I’m not bothered about receiving anything so I got fuck all 😂 I’m going to tell him to order me a Fitbit thing for my dog as my present ... preferably in the sale. Now if anyone asks me “what did DH get you” I’d have to say “nothing” “what did you get DH?” “A £2k telly”

Sounds fucking terrible but it isn’t!!

I’m dreading people asking this stupid fucking question “what did you get!”

I get asked by the same woman at work every year. Her dp buys her nothing every year as she says she can have what she wants all year round , except she doesn't . She lives very frugally as if she has no money yet I know they have plenty. I don't know why she asks , it's like she's torturing herself . Quite sad really.

@CardoMondo

I am a grinch, I hate Christmas! As soon as I can get away with it I’m going to start spending Christmas abroad, away from all the shite! False smiles, ridiculous and selfish expectations, crap TV and utter bullshit that is “Christmas”

If I could go back to the Victorian times and experience a proper Christmas without all the grabby shit I would, but modern day Christmas with ridiculous mountains of presents all over Facebook and grown women boasting about receiving their 5th Lous Vouton (sp??) bag etc can do one!

What about a Victorian Christmas do you want?

Poverty, disease, death?

Not one person posted a picture of a present on FB these past two days! The only pics were of landscape, walks, the odd Christmas dinner/homemade food, perhaps their animals, kids unwrapping presents (but not what they got). You have really odd friends.

My friend text me at 8.30 to ask, 'did you get loads of nice things'? I hadn't even got out of bed! She does this with every occasion, even Easter and it makes me stabby.

@Meowchickameowmeow aren't you just tempted to reply 'no'! If anyone asks me I just say bits and bobs or just little things, no big presents, I don't actually detail to them the hand cream, chocolates or whatever!

Fat, i got fat!

If using social media add a photo of a fat cat.

Not that I do get asked but a breezy, "oh nothing, we don't do presents for adults" would work. I'm not embarrassed by having received nothing nor does it need to sound judgemental of anyone who has had lots of things. What works for people is different.

But then my Facebook has none of this either. Maybe a few pictures of children with a few presents but nearly all the Xmas related posts have just been about family and spending time with those they are allowed to.

Mumsnet at its weird finest again this morning:

For people in healthy adult relationships, the answer is "oh we don't bother much with presents for us".

😂 "No no we don't buy gifts to show our love and appreciation for one another that's for dysfunctional relationships" hahaha.

OP - I'm with you, think it's really weird when people ask (surely they just want to talk about what they got?) and my OH and I didn't do gifts this year for various reasons, so I'm tempted to make people feel really awkward by saying "Nothing, because it was that or food!".

But whoever posted that only people in unhealthy relationships make an effort with gifts - you're being very odd. Mumsnet competitive relationship shitness is odd. "No my OH and I try and only speak once a week and NO laughter, anything else is excessive and unhealthy. Oh, no we never hold hands, that's for people pretending to be happy."

[quote Poppingnostopping]@Meowchickameowmeow aren't you just tempted to reply 'no'! If anyone asks me I just say bits and bobs or just little things, no big presents, I don't actually detail to them the hand cream, chocolates or whatever![/quote]
I should do really, just 'no'! and no further explanations
I did text her back later to tell her what I'd got (which I was very happy with) and she sent back 'aww, sending you a big hug luv'. She obviously wasn't impressed!
I just think she equates receiving loads of stuff with being loved where as I don't.

*What about a Victorian Christmas do you want?

Poverty, disease, death?*

Well. That foes sound like 2020...

You just sounding raging that your DH didn't buy you anything. I'd be upset too if he put no thought into it whatsoever.

It's not grabby. Get a grip.

It always amuses me when people say they hate the Facebook bragging but can't seem to understand that Facebook is not mandatory. I've never used Facebook ... I still manage to have a perfectly normal life, meet friends and enjoy social occasions (pre Covid obviously).

My Christmas is probably quite 'old fashioned' to use the OP's terminology - Christmas service, lovely meal, board games, walks and modest gifts ... it's a really easy to avoid the over commercialisation if you want to.

I hate this too op,and me and DH always get gifts for each other. I think it's fine to ask little kids but weird to ask adults. My mum does it as a way of segueing into telling you what she got. And every year she says "and some underwear but we don't talk about that". Don't bloody mention it then. It's like she needs us to know. It's wierd.

My grandma still asks me if Santa was good to me 😂😂 I'm 44.

Another vote for stepping away from social media. I deleted Facebook years ago when I realised I was being jealous of the “perfect” lives of others when really I was only seeing the edited version.

As for “what did you get”, the question doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’ve never been asked by someone who was being a knob and using the question as an excuse to brag about their presents though.

Answering “I got DH a £2k tv and he got me nothing” just sounds like you want people to think badly of him

Why wouldn’t you just say, we didn’t do adult presents, or - we got a new tv for the family.

Anyway, I don’t mind the question and I’m also interested in what my family and friends got.

I think the way to answer is to mention one or two items. My sister, OTOH, will list every single thing in an effort to show me how wonderful and popular she is. I just laugh!

My sister asks every year knowing full well we've either been too skint to do presents or husband isn't very good at picking them.

Not sure why.

Although she does enjoying listing all the presents she had...

Saying that I don't want any clutter in my house!!

I just read my post back and realised this stems from competitiveness that really, sadly defines our relationship. Wish she'd just give it a rest 😪

Totally agree. I'm not five years old!

It sits in the same eye roll pool as adults telling me it's their birthday, or doing some sort of self celebration/attention seeking thing on social media. You're not five years old!

OP, I honestly think you need to change your friends.

I've never asked anyone that question, or been asked it.

You can have a special Christmas whilst rejecting rampant consumerism, it's not hard at all. Lots of people favour smaller, thoughtful gifts or set modest budgets when they buy gifts for other people.

Tbh it sounds like the most annoying thing for you is seeing other people bragging about gifts while you received none. If you were happy and content with your choice, this wouldn't bother you. You would smile indulgently (because they're your friends) at their wastefulness, relish telling people that you and dh have decided against consumerism and just get on with enjoying your own sort of Christmas.

Dh and i don’t buy gifts for each other. Been together 25 yrs and its not an issue. Even the kids don’t buy us gifts. We’ve told then not to. I actually hate receiving them.

People find it weird but it suits us and I can’t see why it should bother anyone else .

I got loads of presents yesterday including money and vouchers ( quite a lot ) but my favourite present was £25 from Amazon and is a canvas of a picture I’ve wanted forever-lunch on a skyscraper- which shows men eating lunch on a steel beam during the build of the Rockerfeller Centre in NY.
That meant more to me than money and vouchers.

I know the types you mean op, one of the reasons I’ve stayed off FB lately and may delete it altogether. Full of braggers and those who live pretend their lives are perfect.

*You can have a special Christmas whilst rejecting rampant consumerism, it's not hard at all. Lots of people favour smaller, thoughtful gifts or set modest budgets when they buy gifts for other people.

Tbh it sounds like the most annoying thing for you is seeing other people bragging about gifts while you received none. If you were happy and content with your choice, this wouldn't bother you.*

Well said