Saddest things a toddler has said this year.

[55larry]

My dgs is 3 years old and because of all the rules we need to live under because of COVID he has not been allowed into my house much this year. I do some childcare and on those days he asks his mother if he is allowed to come in our house and whether his mum can come in. On one occasion during the last lockdown I had to do emergency childcare and he thought he was going to have to stand outside my house all day.

What have we done to our grandchildren that he should even need to ask the question can I go inside granny’s house?

@BoxingDayTurkey great post thank you. @Hardbackwriter completely agree, “they won’t remember” might be something cheery we tell ourselves but it does not make it true.

I feel for you OP, of course children are impacted by this and comparisons to the blitz aren’t helpful as they are not comparable. I think there will be studies in years to come that will show how it affected children and some horrific stories will be in the news at some point about what some children endured. I lost someone this year ( not covid) but would possibly have been here a bit longer if covid hadn’t happened yet I wouldn’t belittle someone else’s experience as everyone has different feelings at different times and you can’t choose what to feel when despite people telling someone to get perspective.

Also as the poster above says, how many have parented young children through a pandemic? I have three of vastly different ages, my youngest is having a very different childhood currently to what my eldest had and of course it will impact them differently.

My 4 yr old wouldn't eat a piece of fruit I cut up because it had my germs on & would make her ill. Also when she was in self isolation after her teacher tested positive, when we tried to explain that she couldn't go out, she cried and said " I promise I dont have coronavirus " as if she had done something wrong what have we done to our children.....

I'm not saying that this is an argument against the restrictions or that the gain isn't bigger than the loss, but it seems so stupid and a bit unkind to claim that there isn't a loss,

Exactly. No-one would choose this way of living for their child if it wasn't forced on us. I look at my one year old grandchild's life and it's wrong. This is where she should be socialised and building loving relationships with her wider family and playing with other toddlers. She's 'lucky' that I live alone so she has one grandparent to bubble and build a bond with. The only thing I'm glad of is that she's one, and not three or four. So she isn't aware of what she's missing.

DD 2/3 would run after any other child aged 1 through about 10 and say "Hello my friend!". Just badly wanted social contact, having gone from nursery, swimming, playdates etc to nothing but me and her dad for months on end. Minor really but always upset me.

In general when my phone pipes up with "This time last year" and I see photos of her with other children here in our home/at the nativity service/at a cafe with friends I get incredibly sad.

I suppose it depends on what tier you were in. The children's centres, which we all agreed were a good thing, were opened to prevent isolation and enable socialisation, because they are both very important from 12 months. So why do you think that enforced isolation and a lack of socialisation won't be damaging?

All doctors/consultants/hcps were calling for services, including play parks to open for the under 10s. They say that the schools etc have seen a negative difference in the children. We've really done our young children a disservice. Pubs and gyms were open while soft play wasn't. That's beside medical and therapy appointments being limited or none existent.

The Royal society of Pediatricians and other early years specialists were lobbing the government against the restrictions because they decided that they were damaging, given that they have a national picture and they are the experts, I'll trust them when they say that there's been damage done.

Mummy put the mask on to keep your face warm?

At my daughter's 2 year check our health visitor confirmed what we suspected from the ages and stages questionnaire that she was significantly "behind" on social and emotional development, but said that virtually every child she had seen was behind in this area, and there's virtually nothing more we can do to improve things right now. She also commented that we just gave to wait to see as a society if there is a long-term impact on our current toddlers. I really hope she was just having a negative day, but I've gone from having a happy, confident child last March to one who is scared of new people and who (the childminder says) needs significant help and encouragement to engage with other children. She's a bit better when we're with her, but not much. 🙁

@Hardbackwriter
I agree with everything you've written.
We had lockdown, then tier 3, then lockdown and back into tier 3.
W
I think we had 3 weeks where visiting in a private garden was allowed with one week of horrendous rain and then a sudden tightening of rules with no warning.
My 15 month old is really confused when she sees my parents at the garden gate because she always just spoken to them on video calls.
Sure children adapt and will re adapt but there's definitely a significant amount of harm going on which we cannot see clearly at the moment

Why is this country's reference point always the blitz? I love and respect history but it was different times, different challenges. This can be tough to bear and the blitz was tough too. It's not either or.

@MrsCremuel

Why is this country's reference point always the blitz? I love and respect history but it was different times, different challenges. This can be tough to bear and the blitz was tough too. It's not either or.

Quite irrelevant to anyone who was not in a big city during the war.

@flev my DS has SEN and is in a small PRU so about half the DCs have EHCPs but very few were in school during lockdown, so he was in part time with just him or one other child.
He was doing really well socialising before lockdown and had an APPALLING start to the autumn term, basically didn't want to share the adults. I'm petrified what he'll be like if they lock down again, I feel all the children in the PRU should be in but nobody can force them.
We're in the lowest transmission area of a Tier 3 county and have been low most weeks throughout but many parents are very cautious, some don't prioritise school (many weren't answering school calls for weeks).

Just engage your brain a little and realise not everyone views things the same way as you

Like you're engaging yours and realising the same? No, didn't think so.

Not a toddler but my 10 year old talking to her brother in May started saying "You remember when we used to go to school..."

It’s a bit like saying, ouch, I cut my arm. Oh well I broke my arm. Oh well my arm fell off. Oh well my arm burst into flames and then my whole body caught fire. You all have no reason to complain. It’s also a really dangerous argument with children, IMO. Like there are levels of damage. Oh your parents hit you? Well that’s nothing mine did x, y, or z. It is something we are ‘doing’ to our children as a society and I do think it’s important to talk about it so we can mitigate any negative impacts as much as possible. Obviously there are worse off situations we could be in, but that’s irrelevant. As a parent you do the best you can for your child and it’s important to think how recent events may be impacting them and act accordingly to make things as best as you possibly can.

My 3 year old was playing with a doll earlier this year and was 'playing' putting on hand sanitiser.

She also now tells me to put my mask on constantly as she just thinks it's 'normal' now for Mummy to wear a mask.

Right now there are children in other countries freezing to death, living in tents in sub-human condition. There are appeals for food and blankets.

I know I'll get slated but I find this thread in very poor taste.

My DS 5y.o is reminiscing old times when soft play was open.
It's closed since March.
He is obsessed with hand washing he is a rule follower it is not the worst habit to have he has a fit if anyone coughs in school.
It is awful but I'm confident he'll get on with it.

@stackemhigh Very true.

I totally disagree that we haven't done anything to our kids. We absolutely have. My two year old isn't at nursery yet, so he has been able to interact with another child once in almost a year. Whether he remembers that or not, it's tragic and I'd be astonished if is has no impact long term.

We also had a trip cancelled to our family overseas, in a country that is likely to keep borders closed for a very, very long time. This means he met his grandparents, uncles and aunts once at 4 months old, and is unlikely to see them until he's 3. That is just heartbreaking, for all of us.

All he's known for a year (almost), is his parents.

I have 3 children, and the oldest (10) and youngest (2) have handled it better than the middle one (6).

The 2yo just takes things as they come, she's always loved playing with water so she's loving all the extra opportunities to wash her hands. The 10yo understands things better but misses seeing her friends outside school - the ones who aren't in her class bubble who she can now only talk to online - we brought forward giving her a phone specifically because of this. But they've been fine on the whole and I don't feel sad for what the situation is doing to them.

The 6yo is a completely different matter. My heart did break for him during the first lockdown, when he was only 5.4 and burst into tears after a fairly minor disagreement with his little sister because "noone likes me, everyone thinks I'm stupid, noonr wants to play with me because I'm worthless". I've never felt sadder for any of my children, no 5yo should ever think that about themselves. We don't use words like that (people usually say that about swearing!) and it did make me sad to hear him have such a low opinion of himself. All because he was trapped in these four walls.

Right now there are children in other countries freezing to death, living in tents in sub-human condition. There are appeals for food and blankets.
Good grief. There's always someone worse off. By that logic we can never talk about our own experiences until we've ascertained that we are more hard done by than the rest of the world.

My 3yo looks out of the front window and sees the neighbour’s three kids playing in the street. “Ah, they’re friends” he says in a sad voice. Doesn’t even ask to go and play with them any more. It breaks my heart that he has nobody to play with.

My daughter is 4 and asks most days 'where are we going today?', ' when will the coronaviris be gone '..last night was the worst though as we fell out during the day. She was mean to her sister then overreacted. She asked me if she was too naughty for Santa and I almost cried. She's a lovely girl 99% of the time, but has massive raging tantrums.