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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Saddest things a toddler has said this year.

129 replies

55larry · 25/12/2020 22:55

My dgs is 3 years old and because of all the rules we need to live under because of COVID he has not been allowed into my house much this year. I do some childcare and on those days he asks his mother if he is allowed to come in our house and whether his mum can come in. On one occasion during the last lockdown I had to do emergency childcare and he thought he was going to have to stand outside my house all day.

What have we done to our grandchildren that he should even need to ask the question can I go inside granny’s house?

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 26/12/2020 00:08

They just said it was a bit sad.

No, they said the saddest thing on the world. It is not.

saraclara · 26/12/2020 00:10

@Cocomarine

I’m with *@MintyMabel* we haven’t “done” anything to them. That’s a weird way to look at it. It’s just a kid, understanding how to stay safe. 10 years ago when I was teaching my toddler to brush their own teeth to avoid gun disease, I didn’t wonder what I’d “done” to her..

Last week my 10yo and I were playing beauty salons. She led with, “Is it OK if I just take your temperature?” I just find it interesting, and quite sweet.

@designmama and @dugee I’m sorry for your losses 😕 this is quite different, and I do feel is very sad. We lost FIL to Covid earlier this year, but fortunately my two are old enough to understand.

Teaching her to clean her teeth didn't keep her from her wider family. Prevent her from being hugged by her granny, prevent her from going visiting in anyone's house or seeing her friends out of school (or at all, during lockdown). When she learned to clean her teeth, she didn't hear grown ups or newsreaders talking about how not cleaning your teeth could kill you (or worse, not cleaning your teeth could kill your granny) It's not even close to a logical comparison.

Of course we're damaging our children. But unfortunately, we don't have a choice in that. All we can do is be as careful as we can to explain things in a way that doesn't scare them too much.

MintyMabel · 26/12/2020 00:11

my DD asked if I could buy her the green hand sanitiser rather than the clear for her school bag as it would be more Christmassy.

Hand sanitizer was in DDs bag long before covid!

WeAllHaveWings · 26/12/2020 00:11

What have we done to our grandchildren...

We have hopefully used some temporary restrictions and protected, some of them, from a bereavement.

saraclara · 26/12/2020 00:12

@FenellaVelour

“Don’t worry Mummy, I didn’t hug Nanna.”
I seem to have something in my eye.
MintyMabel · 26/12/2020 00:13

When she learned to clean her teeth, she didn't hear grown ups or newsreaders talking about how not cleaning your teeth could kill you (or worse, not cleaning your teeth could kill your granny)
It's not even close to a logical comparison.

Keeping your young kids away from hearing the news being read is pretty easy.

MintyMabel · 26/12/2020 00:14

Of course we're damaging our children

Typical MN hyperbole. We're not damaging our kids. Not even remotely.

SofiaMichelle · 26/12/2020 00:19

@MintyMabel

Of course we're damaging our children

Typical MN hyperbole. We're not damaging our kids. Not even remotely.

This.

As quickly as they've learned new behaviours - by watching and copying - they will 'unlearn' them, or learn new behaviours, when normality returns.

OhDearMuriel · 26/12/2020 00:23

I wonder if you would ask such a ridiculous question if you were in ICU fighting for your life. I think not.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 26/12/2020 00:24

Of course it's sad not to see your children with their grandparents & friends, but luckily fir many it's only temporary and they'll forget this period in their lives as most of us do. I think it will have an impact on them irrespective of not remembering it, BUT. It's a pandemic, we aren't 'doing' anything to them! Yes they have restriction and for some it's difficult fir them to understand & the miss their family & friends, but if they feel loved at home they'll be fine.

MrsDiplo · 26/12/2020 00:38

At bedtime today my youngest (10) said he cant wait until he can use his brand new roller blades outside, once the virus is gone.

I was confused as he hadnt mentioned them all day and had happily played with other toys so it didnt occur to me, but he thought he was stuck inside as we were tier 4 (we arent, we are 3, hes got confused).

lcdododo · 26/12/2020 00:39

@MintyMabel

Not saddest thing in the world, the saddest thing this year.

Everyone has different perspectives on things, different lives and everyone is affected differently.

People like you minimising others feelings doesn't help

AlohaMolly · 26/12/2020 00:42

DS, DP and I live 300 miles away from my mum, but pre Covid we tried to meet every 2/3 months or so. Ds turned 4 during lockdown and had a FaceTime birthday, but sometimes he cries because he misses my mum. In June/July ish, when he hadnt seen her since Christmas 2019 He said to me at bedtime - ‘mummy, I not seen Granny X for a weally wong time. I guess we just don’t wove each ovva anymore?’

It made me cry. I had tried to shield him from the news etc but that made me realise I had to explain things a bit better, because he thought my mum just didn’t want to see him.

MintyMabel · 26/12/2020 00:44

Not saddest thing in the world, the saddest thing this year.

With everything that had happened it doesn't even qualify for the saddest thing this year. It isn't minimising, it is adding perspective.

MessAllOver · 26/12/2020 00:49

It's really annoying when people hijack threads intended to let people vent and have a bit of a moan with a mixture of "Stop fussing, you stupid idiots, it was worse in the war", "Stfu, there are lots of people who have it worse than you" and "Don't you know we're living in a pandemic?"

SRYnegative · 26/12/2020 00:51

Some people just don't get it OP. The number of babies and infants battered to death in the home has increased significantly during lockdown, but, hey, we're not harming the kids at all.

GrandTheftWalrus · 26/12/2020 00:51

Dd was 3.5 when her nursery closed and she lives with her dad and me. So obviously didn't see any other children from March etc. So when she saw children on TV or on posters she would say they are her friends. I could tell the poor wee thing was lonely. She'd only been at nursery 4 months when it closed and she didn't understand it closing either.

Shes been back since they reopened in August and apart from missing days in August and Sept due to our work she hasn't missed a day and again even though she is now 4 she still doesn't understand holidays she thinks it's not going to open again.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/12/2020 00:59

"When she learned to clean her teeth, she didn't hear grown ups or newsreaders talking about how not cleaning your teeth could kill you"

What was she told about crossing the road?

Comtesse · 26/12/2020 00:59

I think we do ourselves and our children a profound disservice when we say our feelings and their feelings don’t matter, don’t be silly, this is nothing, other people have it worse. I bet they said it in WW2 and it was wrong then and it’s wrong now. It IS sad, we are not designed to live like this, of course people are feeling pretty low about it. YANBU OP.

SRYnegative · 26/12/2020 01:00

“My mum and dad hit me and my younger brother today. Since lockdown my mum and dad have been getting angry with each other and then they end up hitting us. They have punched and hit us on our legs, arms and sometimes our faces. I have got some bruises and marks. It hardly ever happened before lockdown. Nobody else knows about it and my parents have threatened that things will get worse if we tell anyone. I am finding it really hard."

Boy aged 9, Childline

SRYnegative · 26/12/2020 01:08

Well that is quite a sad thing for a child to say. To those on here saying we should get some perspective: we are not talking about your children, tucked up in bed, with maybe one parent working from home, or one in a an office, accessed by car, we are talking about kids where their parents were just about coping, but now they are not, as unemployment/failure of business/ being cooped up in a tiny flat all have had an impact on mental health. No, parents should never abuse their children, but when schools are closed and teachers don't see kids, when parents' mental health plummets and poverty hits, more child abuse will occur, it shouldn't but it does.

Get some perspective.

Londonwriter · 26/12/2020 01:20

A fortnight after his nursery closed in March, my DS (then aged 3.5) said: “Nursery is closed because of the bad bug. I will never have friends again.”

He also reminds me to wear a mask whenever I get ready to go out.

EndemicPanda · 26/12/2020 02:33

Around May I was out in the woods with DS who is 1 year old and thankfully too young to understand what's going on. We came across a girl aged about 3 and her family. She said in an incredibly sad voice:

"Mummy, that boy is like me but I'm not allowed to play with him."

😢

user1473878824 · 26/12/2020 03:02

“What have we done to our grandchildren”
Kept them alive?
Kept their grandparents alive?

1forAll74 · 26/12/2020 03:58

It's not damaging to children, to go through something like this,but they will remember all the odd things that have been happening. Much the same as I can remember saying to my Mum in the war years, can I sleep in my bed tonight,or will we have to sleep in the tin shelter on the floor or a chair, and will we have to wear our gas masks, so cant have a drink till we come back.I remember saying to my Mum at these times. can I have a little blanket to wrap Tibby in,in the shelter, (our cat at the time)

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