When is a "normal" age to lose your virginity?

[goosefats]

Name changed because this is something I would not like to follow me around on here, if you please

I was having a little Xmas Zoom call with one of my female friends this evening and we got a little drunk on our (individual) Pinot Grigios, and things started getting a little personal. We began talking about our first times, to which I told her I had sex for the first time at 15. She immediately had a " Oh my GOD, Goosefats!" response which I thought was a little mad as I figured that was a normal age.
According to her, it was far too young and I'm wondering what the general consensus is?

Obviously it's a personal choice, just to preface! I'm just curious as to what age you think is appropriate and what age you'd have a strong response to Relatively light-hearted thread, and please be kind to my friend, she's salt of the Earth but relatively sheltered (bless her heart!). x

Average age was for a long time 17 years and something like 8 months. Now it's over 18. Thankfully kids are seeing they have prospects and many more things than sex to get their 'highs'. The later you can delay sexual activity the reduced risks. For example you are far less likely to get STI's or an unwanted pregnancy if you can delay age at first sexual experience to 18 instead of 15. I was part of a GUM and sexual health care team for many years that won many awards for it's work with populations least likely to engage in health care services.

Among my friends who had no religious or other reasons to wait it was 19. Having said that some were well into their 20's and I think the youngest was 16 but they weren't the norm.

Both from personal and professional experience I don't think 15 is the norm except in particular more vulnerable populations.

I was 15

Both from personal and professional experience I don't think 15 is the norm except in particular more vulnerable populations.

Wrong.

And narrow minded

I went to a rather posh, selective girl’s school in a well to do area. Definitely not vulnerable (well not in the socio-economic sense anyway) and as I said before, starting to have sex at around age 14/15 was not at all unusual. Not saying it’s a good thing, but I’d certainly question the assumption that it is only certain groups of girls that have sex early.

Teen pregnancies were also very common - I can think of 4 amongst my friendship group from school. None of them continued with the pregnancy though.

15 is obviously under the age of consent but not unusual tbh. Many of my friends did at that age.

I was a little later. I was 17/nearly 18! He was a couple years older than me and had lost his virginity several years before at 14 🤨

At my age I felt like the last person to lose it but realistically it wasn’t that bad! I wish I had waited though!

I agree Horehound. If average was 17 then there must have been plenty of kids age 15 and 16 having sex, I don't think it is that common for it to be over 19 for someone's first time. I only know one person who was pregnant at 15, her sister was also pregnant at 16. Their mum was similar age when she had her eldest. Most of my friends were in Y11 so 15/16. They certainly don't fit Irisheyes description, definitely not vulnerable.

I was 14 and felt ready.

I was 18, first term at uni. Seemed normal in my group :)

I was 14. About 3 months away from turning 15. My friends at the time were around the 14/15 age range.

I was just turned 17

I was 18, and really genuinely thought I was some kind of aged spinster and everyone else was getting it on and there was something wrong with me :(

It was certainly my impression at the time that between 14-16 was the norm.

In hindsight, I wasn't really ready at 18 - I was probably in my early 20s by the time I was really ready but I kept pushing ahead from about 16 to do sexual things because I thought that's what boys expected/wanted and they wouldn't like me otherwise. God, my sex education must have been terrible!!

I was around 19/20 and away from home at uni. All of my friends were late teens or early 20s having sex for the first time. I only know a two who were under 16.

Just turned 16, he had just turned 18. Both our first time. Absolutely no regrets about it.

I know a friend who waiting for marriage but eventually lost it pre marriage at age 21, and regretted it.

I know a friend who sex under 16 who has no regrets, and one who is full of regrets about it.

I think most of the regrets come from regretting not waiting on the right person, nothing to do with the actual act of engaging in sex.

@Irisheyesrsmiling

Average age was for a long time 17 years and something like 8 months. Now it's over 18. Thankfully kids are seeing they have prospects and many more things than sex to get their 'highs'. The later you can delay sexual activity the reduced risks. For example you are far less likely to get STI's or an unwanted pregnancy if you can delay age at first sexual experience to 18 instead of 15. I was part of a GUM and sexual health care team for many years that won many awards for it's work with populations least likely to engage in health care services.

Among my friends who had no religious or other reasons to wait it was 19. Having said that some were well into their 20's and I think the youngest was 16 but they weren't the norm.

Both from personal and professional experience I don't think 15 is the norm except in particular more vulnerable populations.

Bullshit.

Although @Irisheyesrsmiling please educate me on other ways to get highs?

And ps. 13 year old me wasn’t vulnerable, neither did as the area I lived in. And he wasn’t some 20 year old creep or whatever you want to think but my age.

Both from personal and professional experience I don't think 15 is the norm except in particular more vulnerable populations.

I went to a very naice all girls school in the home counties. Lots of shagging around underage. My first time was with a teen of my own age who went to an all boys school down the road. I don't know if we were "ready", whatever that means, but went out together for two years, had a lot of fun, thought we were madly in love and it generally left me with positive feelings about sex and relationships.

I think it is about when you are ready, comfortable, feel safe and want to. For me I was 17.5, it was with a boy that I had been seeing for a few weeks who had had two serious (for a 17 year old he had been with them a few months each) girlfriends who he had had slept with. I wanted someone who wasn't totally new to it but who hadn't been with loads of people. I didn't love him, but I liked him and I fancied him and I have no regrets.

The youngest of my friends was 14 (she was in year 10 at that point with a boyfriend she had been with since year 7) and I have one friend who is nearly 30 who has not slept with anyone.

It honestly depends on the person, some people in the my friendship group were still very much children at 15 whereas others were much 'older'.

I was 20 but very late compared to my friends. I had a family member who was nearly 13 (so officially 12!)

I think in my friendship group at the time 14-17 was the norm.

16 for me. He was 18.

It wasn’t the best experience, but I don’t regret it.

I was 18. For some reason I feel ashamed at saying 18 as it seems so old compared to people I know. I was definitely one of the last few in my school year to do it.

I did other things at 14 though. I wasn't really bothered but my bf at the time was a horny 15 year old. I wasn't ready for sex at that point.

I was probably ready at 16 but didn't want it to be a ONS, I wanted to be in a relationship and that didn't happen until I was 18. He was ten years older and we were together for almost 4 years. He was 14 his first time.

I didn't really feel like I had a first time. Obviously I did, but after my relationship at 14 I started exploring my own body and as I got older I watched videos online (I hate admitting that now but it's all learning I guess) so by the time I actually had sex I felt like I knew what I was doing.

That was long sorry!

I was 19 and at university, it seemed a kind of average age.

When I was at school, I remember that there were girls who were having sex in year 10 & 11 ( so aged 14 & 15, 15 &16) and they would talk loudly about it at the back of the class, talking about blow job techniques etc.

Dunno, maybe I was just a spod, I was much more interested in doing sport, especially in teams, and working hard at school work.

We did have around 3 teenage pregnancies in my year, coming back after the summer going into year 10 (first year of GCSEs) & at other points pre GCSE. Me & our friends found it quite shocking, none of us were sexually active at the point, of course we were curious, but getting pregnant was just a total shocker to hear about fellow pupils.

Just to add, I went to the local state school in SE London.

I had just turned 15

18 and a half. I do regret it as I do think I was not ready and I do admit it was not very nice.

@grisen of course that doesn't mean every 13 year old having sex is vulnerable, it means on the balance of probability a higher percentage of vulnerable 12/13 year olds are having sex than their non-vulnerable peers. Always exceptions. Thats how statistics work. A bit like those who don't wear a seatbelt are more likely to come to harm in an accident, doesn't mean every time you don't wear a seatbelt something will happen etc., nor does it mean if you do wear one you will be 100% safe. And of course not all 13 year olds are having sex with older men either. I'm glad to hear you were safe!

@Remxhah126 - so true! I remember a v elite girls school and hearing most of the year 9's are sexually active in more unsafe ways (at parties with multiple shared activities in sex games) and when I see the school mentioned with people vying for spots (very very expensive sought after spots!) I always wonder what these parents would think if they knew!

22, lack of opportunities before, and eventually just went for it with some guy I didn't fancy because no one I actually wanted to sleep with was offering.

Was fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ - split up soon after because I felt bad leading him on. He assumed I'd got some hangups about sex because it didn't even cross his mind I just didn't want to sleep with him ...