The obligatory Bayliss and Harding...

[XmasGridlock]

Have recieved two sets this year. One from FIL and one from DH's Aunt. Also had another smelly set from DSIL. I have severe Eczema and can't use any of these types of sets. No shame in saying all will be going to the charity shops in the New Year.

FIL gave DH a bunch of cash, some new clothes, chocolate bits, etc. I got a Bayliss and Harding Set I can't even use.

Anyone else get the obligatory Bayliss and Harding set? Or maybe some other unthoughtful gifts from the in laws?

i used to get these not this year though

i got 2 diaries from the same person and a talking cat toy from my aunt

im 45

Perhaps I should have titled this thread 'The Obligatory Christmas Smelly Sets'rsther than single out Bayliss and Harding in particular. They all suck regardless of cost. But as I said, just so happens it was Bayliss and Harding I opened this year.

dont blame you op its thoughtless really if they claim to know you well

Again, complaining about Kiel’s threads don’t tend to be a thing on here. I wonder why?

OP why don’t you just tell the in-laws yourself that you can’t use any toiletries. If they don’t listen, return the next gift until it sinks in.

Ffs people are being obtuse.

Regardless of price and/or ‘snob factor’ this is a really shit present for OP who has severe eczema. Her IL’s know she had severe eczema. They get her DH a range of nice presents but can’t be bothered to be thoughtful toward and considerate of OP, who incidentally does all the work of finding, buying and wrapping presents for them.

I’m serious @XmasGridlock - from now on it should be your DH’s responsibility to sort gifts for his family.

I'm with OP. I would so much rather have nothing than something that will be given to a charity shop the first week in January. I also have eczema and allergies that mean the 'fall back' gifts of toiletries, candles and chocolates are usually wasted on me.

Stop buying gifts for his family, that’s a no brainier.

I literally have no idea what Kiel's is.

Yes, I should probably tell FIL at least but I hate drama and wouldn't want to make him feel bad. I'm a suffer in silence and moan in private person. And by moan in private, I mean moan on MN.

not this year.
but usually I keep the set to use as wool detergent and the lotion to clean hands after fixing the bikes or gardening.

And they are all aware of my eczema. They've clearly just forgotten.

@XmasGridlock

If I'd been given three Nivea sets then I'd be on here moaning about them. As it happens it was three Bayliss and Harding sets. I cannot use any smelly sets, even if they're super expensive and luxurious. I can only use the special dermalogical stuff. So any smelly sets regardless of price is a shit gift for me.

But don't you know, OP, there's an entire production line at the B+H factory, just to produce smelly sets so that MNers can come on here to moan about them.

You doing a fantastic service in supporting U.K. industry

My in laws do even get me a birthday card anymore. I used to get a present and card then one year nothing ever again.

I think it’s because dh didn’t always send then their birthday cards. Then the same crept in with is mil. Dh didn’t keep up with cards gifts or communication with his parents, I was and always have been blamed dispite the fact that I sort our friends, our kids and my family.

Much easier now as I don’t get involved with sorting dhs family out and they as a result get nothing.

It’s not my fault, it’s dhs and we are just very dysfunctional. You are lucky your presence is acknowledged.

Families are weird.

@HollyandIvyandallthingsYule

Ffs people are being obtuse.

Regardless of price and/or ‘snob factor’ this is a really shit present for OP who has severe eczema. Her IL’s know she had severe eczema. They get her DH a range of nice presents but can’t be bothered to be thoughtful toward and considerate of OP, who incidentally does all the work of finding, buying and wrapping presents for them.

I’m serious @XmasGridlock - from now on it should be your DH’s responsibility to sort gifts for his family.

Her bloke knows though. What he got to say about it all? Is he taking on the gift giving from now on if they can't put any thought into his wife?

Soz wrong quote. I clearly have enjoyed that glass of fizz.

*Oh stop moaning after such a shit year just be grateful for what you have

Regift them that will save you sone money

You are the daughter in law, not the daughter. He will buy more for his own child*

What a low bar you have that someone with a severe skin condition isn’t happy with a gift that flares it up is considered moaning especially when family members after such a length of time should know what to give.

My mum suffers from a skin condition that she needs prescribed creams for and had done for years and my sons had eczema that they have thankfully grown out of for the most part. It was a struggle to find the right products for them especially my youngest who had it more severe. I was applying cream on him every nappy change. He even had prescribed creams for awhile.

It doesn’t take much to be considerate when giving a gift nor should one be expected to be grateful when it is a thoughtless gift because someone somewhere else is having a s**t year. A gift should be about the recipient not the the giver. What’s the point of a gift if it isn’t something that the recipient likes, wants or can use?

Yes, I should probably tell FIL at least but I hate drama and wouldn't want to make him feel bad.

It really isn’t drama to gently say that you can’t use toiletries because you have eczema and suggest similarly priced easy alternatives.

Just don’t single out the brand as that sounds snobbish whether you mean it to or not.

I think the thing with B&H is that yes, you can get them in Sainsburys/Tesco Locals, as well as supermarkets. On Boxing Day, they are always reduced to a couple of quid and I've seen people buying tons, presumably for their 'gift cupboard'. It's the ultimate 'that'll do'.

To be fair to DH I sort the presents out for everyone because I'm at home whilst DH works full time and I enjoy doing it. He does help with the wrapping of an evening after work if ask him too as well. He's also cooking the Christmas Dinner today for us. So he does help and contribute and it works for us.He did also say earlier he might text FIL after we opened our presents but I've always got the sense he's a tad scared of him and hates to upset or disappoint him. So I doubt he will actually mention it.

@Kay1341

Happens with better brands too - Last year MIL got me a Molton Brown bath product, but it was Brandy scented. I mean, who really wants their whole body to smell like that??

It's not actually brandy scented. It's lush and woody with a hint of brandy. I love it.

They are knock-off Milton Brown. Other toiletries don’t attract the hate because they’re not pretending to be something they’re not

But still it’s a gift set with no thought, no matter who makes it. Or do they only count as Ok if more money is spent on them?

There are plenty of cheap knock offs of premium brands.

On the unthoughtful from the in laws...red wine and port. I never was a big drinker but now shoudn't for medical reasons. And I did like a nice port....

It's the ultimate 'that'll do'

And this is the issue. Firstly I think there’s too much present buying to begin with - not FIL, MIL obviously but buying for your friends husband? The problem with this brand is it’s highly scented and unless you know the persons taste well it’s a big gamble ( I love citrus but hate vanilla). With regards cheaper brands I would like Simple or something like a goats milk soap from TK Maxx. One smaller good quality thing is better than a big cheap thing imo.

My fav thoughtless gift from PIL was some bog standard ASDA underwear in the size MIL thought I should be, as opposed to the size I actually am.

DH received a football annual from them the same year. He is mid forties.

My problem is not the gift, but the thought put into it. We try for ages to think what would be appreciated by them and discuss with BIL and SIL. They have never returned the thought. I feel terrible for DH as my parents are incredibly thoughtful and love to spoil him.

You can’t expect everyone to know you have eczema.

I have eczema too, one of my friends has given me a lovely bath bomb that I probably won’t be able to use but I will probability just put it in my bedroom to make my room smell nice. My mum usually buys me smellies too but this year she’s given me some lip balm that I can use. Also been gifted body shop hand cream which is one of the few things I can use 😁. I’m grateful for what ever I get even if I can’t use it.

I have a relative that uses all the smellies she doesn’t like on her dog, her dog always smells amazing 🤣

I didn't get any it's a Christmas Miracle my mum usually obliges.