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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS came home drunk tonight

132 replies

DSCAMEHOMEDRUNK · 25/12/2020 00:13

I feel terrible. Like a fool I let him go out with his friends tonight and he has come home hammered. I can’t get much out of him as he is so out of it. He’s a mature 14 but hasn’t done anything like this before. What should I do?

OP posts:

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 01:26

@Sparklfairy course not. We all NC from time to time. But I vividly remember Jess's posts about being childless and how people judge them for it and being 70, we've come together on a few threads on that issue. I had to look to make sure I'd not made that up.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/12/2020 01:27

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BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 25/12/2020 01:28

Let him sleep it off and to him when he’s feeling better. It’s not the end of the world. Keep an eye on him in case he is sick. He’ll probably be feeling pretty dreadful tomorrow.
We let our son start drinking at home from about 15 as both our first experiences drinking any proper amounts were over the park at about 14/15. Our son is now 17 and pre covid drank sensibly with friends as he knows his limits.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 25/12/2020 01:29

talk to him

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 01:29

@londonscalling

I'm more interested to know why you let him out with mates during a pandemic!

Because depending on the tier it might be entirely permissable and within the rules? Because he's just spent god knows how many weeks in a classroom with the same kids without the SD or masks?

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 01:30

@SleepingStandingUp this isn't the point - sorry to derail - many of the positive cases I have known in schools came from kids socialising in the community because they socialise with some or all of the kids at school anyway.

FunkBus · 25/12/2020 01:31

I think it's a credit to you that he came home. When I went out drinking, I would hide and pretend I was sleeping at a friend's house but I'd often be in dodgy situations with older guys or out on the streets all night.

It's good he knows he can come back to you so don't be too harsh on him or you'll ruin the trust he feels.

clpsmum · 25/12/2020 01:34

I think the hangover will probably be punishment enough tbh especially on Christmas Day! He'll learn his lesson. Sending hugs. Don't waste your Christmas over it deal with it on boxing dat xx

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 01:35

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@SleepingStandingUp this isn't the point - sorry to derail - many of the positive cases I have known in schools came from kids socialising in the community because they socialise with some or all of the kids at school anyway.[/quote]
So how can you prove they got it within the community than at school? And my first point was that it was within the rules- so seeing Jay and Mat but keeping further apart than they are all day in class.
Obv before he got roaring drunk and snogged Mat for a dare and then held up Jays hair so he could vomit. This is why o never understood pubs opening so quick

Squeejit · 25/12/2020 01:37

The hangover should be punishment enough. I’d go for mild disapproval, while really looking after him. If you’ve raised him right so far, he’ll know he’s out of line, so let him be.

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 01:39

@SleepingStandingUp

All of the cases were transmitted during holidays /weekends and the positive pupil never returned.

But exactly what you say - we enforce some kind of distancing.

And how do any of us know he's only out with his school pals and whoever's home he's in I'm assuming other people love there...

Sobeyondthehills · 25/12/2020 02:02

As PP are posting, not great he is drunk, but great he felt safe enough to come home.

The hangover should be enough punishment, unless he is like me and didn't get hangovers till 30 shit they hurt

Depending on how he is tomorrow, I would say would depend on how you react, if he can barely open his eyes because it hurts, then just a conversation on trust.

If he is fine and dandy, I think there should be something more to make sure he doesn't do it again but its a thin line, because you are going to want him to keep coming home.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 25/12/2020 02:09

I hope you and your son are both okay. I remember getting very drunk at 14 - I’m still here, alive and happy. And close to my parents!

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 25/12/2020 02:46

The headache he had coming to him will be all the punishment he needs!!

Fwiw I've only ever been drunk once as a young teen. I was so ill it out me off for life and I've never repeated the experience (( Thunderbird. Go big or go home and all that ))

sbhydrogen · 25/12/2020 02:58

Oh, we all do it at least once.

When I was 15 I got really drunk at an incredibly posh dinner at a very swanky venue, as it was either wine or water (and the latter was boring). I spent most of the evening throwing up in the toilets,, and my mum was so mad she refused to sit near me on the tube home. I had the next day off school, and I didn't drink again, not red wine, for a very long time.

So I say drag him out of bed at a decent time and get him to bed early tomorrow. Good luck, and merry Christmas!

katy1213 · 25/12/2020 03:32

Those were the days. Fond memories!

Bonkerz · 25/12/2020 03:42

I caught dd15 sneaking a lot of baileys into her hot chocolate tonight and you are damn sure I made her drink it!! She may have a sore head in the morning. (Think half a mug!!)

Ooopsi · 25/12/2020 03:43

Suggest hair of the dog in the morning

It’s one of them things, been there done that. His likely to be embarrassed tomorrow. Brief chat re trust then be done with it.

We can all tell who the fun sponges are on this thread OP do ignore x

RandomUser18282 · 25/12/2020 03:44

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Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 03:47

@Bonkerz

I caught dd15 sneaking a lot of baileys into her hot chocolate tonight and you are damn sure I made her drink it!! She may have a sore head in the morning. (Think half a mug!!)

Love a mug of Bailey's

caringcarer · 25/12/2020 03:49

Get h to drink.s lint of water but don't give him painkillers, surely you want him to get a hangover so he does not do it again. I would tell him once is mistake twice will not be tolerated.

yawnsvillex · 25/12/2020 03:55

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/12/2020 04:01

The hangover will serve him right.

I would talk to him tomorrow, highlight the dangerous aspects like asking him if can actually remember the end of the night.

I would probably want to know where he got enough booze to get hammered, at only 14.

PhilCornwall1 · 25/12/2020 04:10

He could be one of those lucky ones that don't get hangovers!!!

Whilst I'm sure words will be had with him, don't make a massive deal out of it, as that just adds to the "mystery" of it and the urge to do it again. You can almost guarantee he's not had a skinful, at that age, sniffing an open bottle would be enough!!

babbafett · 25/12/2020 04:38

I echo what some pp have said by not focusing on punishment but open conversation about keeping safe and knowing when to come home.
You know your son and if this approach would work but it did for me - my mum said to call her at any hour of the night, it didnt matter what state I was in or what I had taken she would bring me home and would not judge me for it. I was a pretty sensible teen and did nothing stronger than alcohol but once or twice found myself in situations that were dangerous. I always rang my mum and she collected me. Including one time me and my friends drink were spiked and we were clearly out of it. So dangerous and if I felt too scared to go home god knows what could have happened. At the time there was a nasty trend of people sneaking vodka into the lads pints just to watch them make fools of themselves so not always for predatory reasons but dangerous none the less.
Some of my friends knew they would be in a world of trouble if parents found out so often put themselves in worse situations trying to hide it.

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