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Original poster

DS came home drunk tonight

132 replies

DSCAMEHOMEDRUNK · 25/12/2020 00:13

I feel terrible. Like a fool I let him go out with his friends tonight and he has come home hammered. I can’t get much out of him as he is so out of it. He’s a mature 14 but hasn’t done anything like this before. What should I do?

OP posts:
SantasAnus · 25/12/2020 00:41

The fact that you "let him go out", is a situation in itself OP.

It intimates that he has acted like a twat on many an occasion, but you have conceded on this occasion to 'let him go out' against your better judgement.

What's the saying? Insanity is repeating something and expecting the outcome to be different.

That's paraphrasing, but you get the jist.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 25/12/2020 00:42

We have a very mature 14 year old... I can honestly imagine him within the next year coming home drink within the next year... not because I think that he’s that way inclined,need just going to experiment... it’s early I’d say but completely normal.

My sons a straight A student and very mature and sensible... but they are very young adults... who are open to exploring. Part and partial of growing up.

SantasAnus · 25/12/2020 00:43

Omg 🙈🙈🙈🙈 wish I could delete.

I read as 'DH'

So sorry OP.

At least he came home! He will be suffering in the morning. That will be punishment enough.

GlowingOrb · 25/12/2020 00:43

I’d focus less on punishment and more on loss of trust. He needs to provide you with more detail about his outings going forward and perhaps even check in more often. You can throw some grounding in there too, but really is focus on accountability.

jessstan1 · 25/12/2020 00:44

I remember mine doing the same. Plenty of water is the answer and obviously keep an eye on him. He will survive. Don't expect him to surface too early but he will enjoy his dinner when he does.

Happy Christmas.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 25/12/2020 00:44

Absolutely ignore that post Blush fat fingers, wine and no sleep Gin

DonLewis · 25/12/2020 00:49

Punish? Ha ha ha, spending Christmas day, hungover for the first time, while he has to smell the Christmas Dinner cooking all day when all he wants is a McDonald's breakfast to quell the nausea? No need. He's gonna suffer tomorrow! Punishment enough. Xmas Grin

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 00:51

@Tippexy

What tier are you in? Confused

2,509 per 100,000!!

Do we have to have this on every thread? DS could be in a different bloody country for all we know.

Op - don't punish. Educate.

Garby · 25/12/2020 00:51

Hopefully he’ll have a dreadful hangover in the morning to put him off doing it again!

In a similar situation my ex partner told their kid what a prat they’d been, suggested they thought twice about doing it again but reiterated that they would be there to pick up with no judgement in case of emergency etc. I’m not a parent so I don’t know how I’d behave but I always respected that attitude.

Sinful8 · 25/12/2020 00:52

@DSCAMEHOMEDRUNK

I feel terrible. Like a fool I let him go out with his friends tonight and he has come home hammered. I can’t get much out of him as he is so out of it. He’s a mature 14 but hasn’t done anything like this before. What should I do?
What would you have wanted your parents to do?

Or what did you first time you got drunn

SleepingStandingUp · 25/12/2020 00:54

@SantasAnus

Omg 🙈🙈🙈🙈 wish I could delete.

I read as 'DH'

So sorry OP.

At least he came home! He will be suffering in the morning. That will be punishment enough.

At least you realised before anyone commented and I read your retraction before replying
Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 00:54

@SantasAnus

The fact that you "let him go out", is a situation in itself OP.

It intimates that he has acted like a twat on many an occasion, but you have conceded on this occasion to 'let him go out' against your better judgement.

What's the saying? Insanity is repeating something and expecting the outcome to be different.

That's paraphrasing, but you get the jist.

Not necessarily.

It's a common expression -hes 14. OP means she agreed to him going.

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 00:55

@SantasAnus

Omg 🙈🙈🙈🙈 wish I could delete.

I read as 'DH'

So sorry OP.

At least he came home! He will be suffering in the morning. That will be punishment enough.

Oh also ignore my response then 😃 I should RTFT.
RedHelenB · 25/12/2020 00:56

I wouldn't bank on the hangover. Mine don't get them and I didn't either when I was younger Just make sure he knows to be sick in a bucket if he needs to be and glass of water by his bed.

Just reiterate the ways to drink sensibly after Christmas but don't spoil tomorrow.

Sweettea1 · 25/12/2020 00:58

Ahh to be 14 again without a care in the world. We've all done it well atleast I did anyway. let him sleep it off check on him a couple times making sure he ok then have a chat (good telling off) about underage drinking and safety then forget it an enjoy Christmas. Hopefully its a one off a he will learn his lesson.

dewisant2020 · 25/12/2020 01:02

Most off us have done it in our younger years, it's part off growing up. No doubt he'll be suffering in the morning. Let him be

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 01:11

@jessstan1

I remember mine doing the same. Plenty of water is the answer and obviously keep an eye on him. He will survive. Don't expect him to surface too early but he will enjoy his dinner when he does.

Happy Christmas.

You don't have children Confused starting to think based on your posts....Hmm
DramaAlpaca · 25/12/2020 01:12

DS1 did this at 14. God I was so worried, he couldn't stand up and was very, very sick. We got lots of water down him, put him to bed on his side with a strategically placed bucket. Neither DH nor I got much sleep as we checked on him every hour.

DS was very sad and sorry next day, with a stonking headache. We decided any form of punishment was unnecessary, as feeling so rough was punishment enough. He learned his lesson, I'm happy to say. He's grown up now and a bit more sensible.

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/12/2020 01:18

Water and keep a close eye.
Punishment is up to you but I didn't when Dd did it, she felt so ill and embarrassed that was punishment enough.

Don't beat yourself up either, lots of teens do it.

Einszwei · 25/12/2020 01:19

Don't punish him. I would rather a drunk child felt that they could come home safely rather than hide for fear of the consequences.
Many of us did similar things as kids. Maybe have a word with him about responsible drinking later on in the week.

Wheresmykimchi · 25/12/2020 01:20

@Einszwei

Don't punish him. I would rather a drunk child felt that they could come home safely rather than hide for fear of the consequences. Many of us did similar things as kids. Maybe have a word with him about responsible drinking later on in the week.
Absolutely. Totally agree.
londonscalling · 25/12/2020 01:23

I'm more interested to know why you let him out with mates during a pandemic!

Sparklfairy · 25/12/2020 01:25

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@jessstan1* do you have more than one person using your account ? I ask as I checked back through your posts as I was sure you have said many times you don't have children to find you are 40, 70, have no children yet a daughter and a son who is semi famous....@MNHQ* ??[/quote]
Do you AS everyone for the fun of it? Confused

Xmassprout · 25/12/2020 01:25

I wouldn't punish either. I agree with @Einszwei that it's good that he came home safely rather than hide.

I would have an open conversation about drinking safely with him as well. Obviously getting drunk at that age isn't ideal, but if he is going to do it he can at least do it safely without getting dangerously drunk or without getting into dangerous situations

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