Santa’s not coming, awful behaviour

[Ginfizz2]

My 7 yo has been progressively worse over the last year. Covid has not helped for obvious reasons. I’m a front line hcp and single parent. Childcare has been a nightmare (previously my elderly parents would help out) he’s just become more feral as time has gone on. I’m mentally drained from work, life being generally shit and my mental health being a bit shit.
His behaviour today has been awful. I’ve spent most of the day shouting at him not to do this/that etc. He’s constantly winding up his older sister who IMO needs to grow the f up (she’s 18 and just hate everyone/thing atm).
I’ve just thrown the Santa key away and told him Santa isn’t coming.
I honestly don’t think he deserves anything is anyone else struggling like this tonight. I’m just sat crying as I feel awful for making him upset but I’ve just had enough. I honestly wish I had childcare so I could go to work tomorrow

*for context we are in a flat but I did take him out this evening to go walk round the nice houses with fairy lights

It’s been a shit year for everyone, including children who understand what is going on a lot less than we adults. So it’s understandable that his behaviour has deteriorated. I know you are out of patience, but suggest you go hug your son and take back what you said about Santa.
There is no sense in adding to the shit pile of 2020 by cancelling Christmas.

It's sounds so so hard. I agree with the pp. give him a hug, put a Christmas film in on and have a cuddle

@PlanDeRaccordement is right. It's up to you to rescue Christmas now. Give him a hug.

Is there something he can do to 'earn' the key back? Clean a mess he's made, write a letter to santa to say he's sorry and will be better behaved from now on if he changes his mind etc.

he's 7
he's an over excited little lad

i really appreciate how hard it can be and how tired you are and everything but he's 7

you need to pull yourself together, give him a hug and tell him you are sorry that you're talking nonsense. tell him that you are tired and grumpy and it makes you say silly things.

then you need to talk to your 18 year old about acting like an adult and being more supportive.

come on my lovely, chin up-you can do this

I'm having similar issues with my 6 year old son. I did consider hiding his presents tomorrow and let him watch his brothers open theirs and hope that he got the message that his behaviour needs to improve. But I'm not convinced that he would ever forgive me for it and I have visions of him telling the story to his kids years from now about the crap year with covid and then he didn't get any presents 😱🤦🏼‍♀️

This has been a shit year for both you and your son. You are in the most stressful role possible at the moment and he is probably slotting in around you (not your fault) around your work and not seeing the stability of his grandparents as much.

I find children's behaviour can be reactive and attention seeking a lot of the time. He knows he is getting attention by frankly being a little shit something he may have been lacking this year .( Again not your fault)

Don't cancel Christmas you'll only get one shot at it this year, it will only upset you all. Strategically ignore bad behaviour if you can and tell you 18yo the same.
Go easy on yourself. You deserve the tlc and new toys might keep him quiet for a while!

What a shit time you're having. Has your 7 year old gone to bed? Can you chill out with some telly and chocolate? Is there someone you could phone for a chat - your parents or a friend? I agree with Plan above - perhaps tomorrow you could retrieve the Santa key and try to have a happier day.

Hard year for everyone OP
Still time to turn this around.
Cut your kids some slack, forgive yourself and salvage what you can for the rest of tonight.
Then forget it, and have a good day tomorrow.

Agree with pps. He's probably bored and fed up, but with the anticipation of tomorrow creating a whole range of emotions he can't understand. So instead he's being a bit of an arse.

Give him the presents. They'll occupy him! Release them over the day if that would work for you.

Be kind to yourself.

My kids are as good as gold- genuinely, but they were even very excitable today and got rowdy. His probably excited.

Is he normally hard work? If not chalk it down to a rubbish year, pour yourself a drink, take it easy and read him a bedtime book. Times are hard, I feel for you and everyone at the moment.

Sorry to be harsh, but you need to pull yourself together, get a grip, and fix this. Don't do this to a 7 year old child.

Thank you I’ll go and give him a hug. I’m just so so tired. And yes the 18 yo needs to seriously get a grip, thank you x

you need to pull yourself together, give him a hug and tell him you are sorry that you're talking nonsense. tell him that you are tired and grumpy and it makes you say silly things

this

You need to be the adult and remember he is just a pain in the bum kid

Please don’t do that to a 7 year old.

Your 18 year old is an adult and should not be causing any issues. Your little boy is only 7. Maybe he is struggling. It has been a horrible year for everyone. There must be a way to salvage things.

And then get a mince pie, feet up and rest!

I think you’re just over tired and stressed op. You know this isn’t ok.

Say sorry and give him a cuddle.

Can you get him to write a letter to Santa?
Or you write one from santa to say that the presents were already on the sleigh and that he knows hes a good boy really and to try harder to be nice to mummy?
Please don't cancel Christmas, it won't make anything better or teach him the right lesson.
Is there anyone around to support you more going forward?
Where's his dad?
18yo needs a good talking to also.
Hope you can manage to have a good day tomorrow

Good on you for giving him a hug. I hope you all have a Happy Christmas.

Oh, bless you OP. I cross posted.
The vaccine is here. Things will get better.

Not a proportional response to a 7 year olds behaviour sorry. I can see that you are struggling but you are simply reacting like him in threatening this. Young children need to feel safe snd that they are heard snd understood. I would very much go the other way and making sure he feels very loved regardless of what he says and does. Figure out what boundaries there could be but more
Importantly how can you praise good behaviour and motivate that? It's not flipping easy I know. But give yourself a break. Easy food tomorrow and just try and enjoy the day tomorrow
With them. His behaviour is telling you something...

He’ll be wound up with overexcitement and tiredness too. Get him to bed at a reasonable time tomorrow and don’t fall into the trap of letting him stay up because ‘it’s the holidays’. A 7 year old should be in bed by 7-8pm, at the latest.

You sound at the end of your tether and that is completely understandable this year. Your son might have needed the shock to pull him out of his bad behaviour but go and fix it, speak to him as a person - say his behaviour affects you, it's been a hard year and you want Christmas to be good, but he needs to work with you. Hopefully that'll do the trick - but if it doesn't, just tell him he needs to go to bed and you'll try again tomorrow.

The 18 year old might benefit from a similar tactic - talk to them adult to adult, ask them to work with you. Don't be drawn into bollockings because an 18 year old will just start sulking like a toddler!

Good luck, merry Christmas, and thanks for being one of the people keeping us going this horrible year ❤️

I get it totally OP. No one can describe the sheer and utter burn out from this year.
And he’s probably feeding off that.
Deep breaths and go give him a cuddle.
Have you tried any of the phone support lines for HCPs?