To think I shouldn't be made to let the in-laws take the credit.

[User3billion]

DH has just asked me what time I want him to arrange to video call the in-laws tomorrow so they can see the kids open their gifts from them.

I asked what they'd got them as not seen anything arrive in the post and husband has barely left the house for months (working from home).

His answer? Oh I'm just going to see what we have and say one of those is from them.

They do send over money to DH but that's not the point! Everything we've bought for the kids is things we've discussed and chosen for them - not once has he mentioned any of the gifts being from his parents.

Sounds like DH just couldn't be arsed and pocketed the cash himself. Where is the money? You pay from a joint account but that's for the presents under tree. Where is the money from the in laws?

So basically your bloke’s fucked up and you want his parents - who you clearly don’t like - to carry the can. I feel truly sorry for anyone so bloody petty and precious. Emotional load, my arse.

@VinylDetective

So basically your bloke’s fucked up and you want his parents - who you clearly don’t like - to carry the can. I feel truly sorry for anyone so bloody petty and precious. Emotional load, my arse.

Harsh but very true !

Just give them the money and they can choose their own.

@User3billion

Some of the gifts were delivered here & some I went out and bought. We have a joint account so money comes from that.

It's the complete lack of discussion from anyone.

Plus I actually resent the kids thinking that the in-laws got them something really thoughtful when in reality it's something I've chosen.

Oh dear! Somewhat missing in xmas spirit aren't we dear? 3rd world problems too.

It’s yours dh fault not your in laws they’ve sent money and he hasn’t got them anything.. it’s lies with him on them

You need to tell dh to get his finger out, not the ils fault at all.
If he doesn't want to buy for his parents he should tell them.
He sounds useless tbh.

Give them an envelope with money in and they can watch them open it.

you dh is wrong for not telling you or organising a present from them

So, did they not send money this year?

If they did, what happened to it if DH didn't go out and buy them gifts with it?

If it was combined with your & DH's money then yes, they should be 'credited' with a gift(s) in the value of their 'contribution'. If their money wasn't included then DH needs to cough it up and it gets given to the DC as cash. If they didn't send money this year then no, they get no 'credit'.

Stick the cash in cards & let the kids choose from Argos, have them delivered on Boxing day or the 27th.

I'd be annoyed at your dh tbh. He clearly couldn't be bothered buying his kids something.

So, the GPs gave their DS money, in good faith, to buy their GCs presents on their behalf?
He didn't do this.
And you're pissed off with them?
Okaaaay

I'm not sure if this has been asked buy would you feel the same if it were your parents and you'd forgotten?

The kids should receive the money in a card or something. My family live on the opposite end of the country to us. They often send us money to buy something for the kids and we wrap it from that relative. If the money has come through late we wrap up a card with the money in

Yanbu. Really irritates when in-laws ask what the dc want for Christmas, I give the ideas and they take the credit, I do it so the dc get something they like. Look at it that way.

Just put the cash in envelopes and tell the grandparents that you’ve done that so they can choose what they want.

It's your DH that's fucked up here.

What the actual f......! Put a stop to that pronto....bloody cheek

This isn't your in laws fault. They sent money which presumably went in your account and you used some of it to buy presents.
So even if you didn't know the money was from them they still technically brought them a present. So yeah I'd say one of the presents was from them.
Be pissed off at your partner but not your in laws.

Really it's your husbands fault. He agreed to buy a gift on their behalf and then didn't.

Have you actually told them you'd rather them choose something themselves?

I buy all the gifts and they all send money. It’s a lot of pressure and effort on my part though. I always did it so my DC wouldn’t just have money. Now they’re bigger I will let them have the money from relatives though and I will focus on our gifts to them and their stocking presents.

Either your husband forgot this year (understandable with everything going on) or possibly thought you'd spent enough, money's a bit tight this year, and the in laws money would go into the "Christmas pot". His mistake is forgetting to tell you.

I don't think it's a huge issue if that arrangement has worked every other year. Dh has messed up but then you also didn't notice there wasn't a gift bought from them. Understandable, you're grieving for your dad and trying to make Christmas nice for your three children. I would put it down to being stressed this year, everyone's a bit on edge and we're all human.

His suggestion to ear mark a present from the pile from the in laws seems the best solution, or explain you have saved the money for a future treat.

Agree with others, you can't be angry at in laws when this arrangement has been in place for years now and worked in the past.