AIBU for wanting xmas to be over?

[user1506328491]

Tier 4 and all plans cancelled. Despite having children who will enjoy the day, AIBU for wanting it all to be over?

[quote namechangefail2020]@BrumBoo of course someone has to make a jibe about London. Ffs! [/quote]
Yup. The world has to stop when London does .

I'm always relieved when Christmas is over, it's not my favourite thing, although I always have a nice day, nice food, it's always fine- it's just I've never understood what's so special about it anyway? As children it was very exciting because we really did not have much money, so all gifts or presents or toys we ever got were channelled through birthdays and Christmas. It was unimaginable luxury for us. Christmas isn't like that for my older teens, they get what they want all year, have a lot of spare (for their age) money, I buy them things they need including computers/bikes or whatever as they need them. So, without that, and without any real religious significance, it's just a day to hang out, visit family (outside this year) which I do regularly every now and again, and that's it. Usually on Mumsnet Christmas Eve is full of people trying to travel, getting overwhelmed by present wrapping and generally having a nervous breakdown. It's notable that's not the case this year, so perhaps we have exchanged stress and overwhelming business for feeling a bit flat, but I'm not sure Christmas is 'ruined'.

I am feeling very Christmassy today and am now really looking forward to it. I'm far more cheerful since the spectre of NO DEAL has dissipated

YANBU- I feel much the same but am trying to make the best of it. We haven’t seen MIL and DS’s cousins since April. His cousins are desperate see him and now he is 1 he is much more interesting for them as he can interact with them. We couldn’t see MIL in the summer because they were under restrictions (greater Manchester) and now we can’t go up because we are in tier 4. For those saying well the north has been lockdown for months not to the extent we now are- you could at least meet in groups outside- we can’t do that. In fact I’m not even allowed to go to the next town over (6 miles away) to go for a walk with my grandmother as we would have to pass through a tier 2 area at least in the November lockdown I could do that! The previous restrictions up North have been crap- I know- we have lots of family there but they agree that this is tier 4 is a lot more isolating and particularly crap when you see others in the country not only allowed to mix on Xmas day but also in greater numbers and although not advisable no social distancing!

I couldn't give a monkeys about Christmas. I'm not christian I'm pagan so celebrated Yule a few days ago and will just enjoy my 4 days off now relaxing, cuddling with the cat and heating food up in the microwave.
I'm thankful I don't have to cook for anyone or stress over anything. Its the perfect christmas.

I am looking forward to the break from work, lots of time for reading and crocheting. Good food and alcohol, and spending time with the kids and my husband.

My mum and sister are coming round- I woke up feeling under the weather and hoping I am not coming down with covid as I am in a high risk job, so chances are quite high. I will be gutted if they can't come, but if they can't, ill still look forward to the lovely food and relaxing with my children and husband.

This year has been miserable, there is still enjoyment to be had though at Xmas for the vast majority of us. I don't want it to be over, because then it will be boring Jan. I intend to enjoy my family who I live with and make the best of it.

last year I spent Christmas with my parents and DD. This year both parents have gone and DD is stuck in tier 4....the sooner this Christmas is over the better as far as I'm concerned.

I was looking forward to it. But my dog died yesterday so Christmas can fuck off now tbh.

@MrsMiaWallis

I am feeling very Christmassy today and am now really looking forward to it. I'm far more cheerful since the spectre of NO DEAL has dissipated

Me too!!!

Due to distance & varying levels of lockdown I've seen my family once since March. Yesterday we drove a 3 hour trip each way to stand in my parents garden fro 45 mins in freezing conditions just to actually see them one of them has cancer. We were v happy to do it & it meant the world to them
I will spend Christmas with dh & 1 dc & I count myself incredibly lucky to have them. And lucky that so far we have not lost any family members to covid
I honestly think people who have partners & dc to spend the day with are being ridiculous moping about the place. It's still Christmas & t there's a LOT to be thankful for.
There are elderly people utterly alone & likely terrified of the virus. There are people who have lost a parent / partner/ child this year. There are countless women & children in refuges fleeing abusive partners etc etc
I really want to say try to stop being so self indulgent & do your best to make it a special day for your dc

@caperplips

Due to distance & varying levels of lockdown I've seen my family once since March. Yesterday we drove a 3 hour trip each way to stand in my parents garden fro 45 mins in freezing conditions just to actually see them one of them has cancer. We were v happy to do it & it meant the world to them I will spend Christmas with dh & 1 dc & I count myself incredibly lucky to have them. And lucky that so far we have not lost any family members to covid I honestly think people who have partners & dc to spend the day with are being ridiculous moping about the place. It's still Christmas & t there's a LOT to be thankful for. There are elderly people utterly alone & likely terrified of the virus. There are people who have lost a parent / partner/ child this year. There are countless women & children in refuges fleeing abusive partners etc etc I really want to say try to stop being so self indulgent & do your best to make it a special day for your dc

Cheers to that! Exactly what I've been trying to get at.

For those with close family and children, stamping feet and pouting is really distasteful when there are people out there genuinely having the worst Christmas of their lives. Or who have no choice but to not "do" Christmas because of health, poverty, so on and so forth. Choosing to be grumpy when you're surrounded by people you love and love you just seems so petty.

@JaceLancs

I thought I was ok until this morning - I just can’t face getting out of bed I need to put clean sheets on, do food prep, get the wet n dry vac out for dining room (carpet soaked due to roof leak) Deliver some Xmas presents to family who we are not allowed to meet up with Feed cats including neighbours who are away When I can’t even face getting dressed

Totally understand. I hit the wall on Monday, my card bounced and we hadn’t even done the present shop yet. Now Wales is locked down we can’t anyway. Spent most of the day in work crying.

No decs up, no presents to wrap, just me and DH and we both feel ill. Great.

@butterycooler

I was looking forward to it. But my dog died yesterday so Christmas can fuck off now tbh.

I’m so sorry lost 2 of ours during the first lockdown. They were both very elderly, and they had a lovely life but 😭

Me too.
My elderly Dad is in hospital with Covid, very little hope he will recover. My mum and I both tested positive. We can not go and be with him. We FaceTime d but it was so traumatic. My mum is very weak and she has several health issues.

I'm very sorry for people who have posted here who are ill or have v ill family members or who have lost family members this year.
The rest, for the greater part, is irrelevant.
If you have some one to keep you company, if you have roof over your head & food to out on the table you are lucky & have much to be thankful for imo

Genuinely sorry to the people on here with sick family. I'm really not insensitive to that.

I don't think acknowledging disappointment is pouting or distasteful. We all have feelings and feelings aren't relative.

Aknowledging our sadness and making time to feel it, rather than forbidding ourselves to feel sad, can help a wee bit.

I do thing there's a difference between feeling a bit sad and disappointed, and some of the posts I've read on MN over the past few days. People with homes, food, and children, acting like their world has come crashing down.

Acknowledging those feelings are fine, but it's distasteful in that so many people out there are dreadfully affected by COVID and would give anything to be in that position - immediate families, food, and warmth.

Last year I had an awful Christmas even though I was surrounded by family and friends, my job was safe, and so was DH's.

This year it's just me and DH and things are precarious - but we've got each other, a baby, and food and a home. Things being different doesn't mean they have to be bad.

I'd have a thousand Christmas times like this over last year's grief.

I really feel people need some perspective sometimes.

Anyway, I hope everyone does manage a good Xmas - and the ones who don't want to try do decide to at least give it a go.

I voted YANBU becuase there's no denying its a tough one this year (im still looking forward to it personally but i know not everyone is). Try to make the best of it for the kids but when you are feeling low remember it's just 1 day.

Perspective is everything and there is absolutely always a silver lining. You just have to look for it.

@butterycooler

I was looking forward to it. But my dog died yesterday so Christmas can fuck off now tbh.

Oh no :( I’m so sorry x

It's fine to be disappointed and feel flat and not in the mood to celebrate.

For me, Christmas is about a pause to catch up with family. Normally a quiet Christmas Day would be punctated by going to church and celebrating in their community, preceeded by things like the DCs' Christmas events and seeing extended family and friends in the days between Christmas and New Year. This year has been reduced to buying the DCs more stuff than usual and filling the fridge.
Having DCs means there is an expectation to go through the motions in an imitation of normality. You can't just do what you want, and it 100% falls on you, no external input to add a bit of excitement.

Far worse Christmases are avaliable. I've had Christmases in grief, and I do feel for people in challenging circumstances who've had their coping mechanisms stripped away. Likewise there are families that don't know this year is the last and are some time away from being able to enjoy Christmas in future years.

I just want to fast forward until the daffodills come out. Everyone else is entitled to their own feelings about their own circumstances. Just don't dictate how others should feel.

Yabu, it is what you make it. Plans may have changed and you may not be able to see everyone but people need to seriously start looking for the best instead of constantly harping on about how awful everything is. Yes its shit, but frankly their is a killer virus one year we need to scale back plans, try and make it the best you can, if you're determined to be miserable you will be

Personally I think we're all allowed to feel sad that we're missing our "normal" Christmas, it's been a long shitty year! But I also think that maybe look at what you do have rather than what you are missing. If you aren't on your own then fake a smile, have a drink and throw yourself into making the very best of it - as just maybe it'll work out better than you expected.
To anyone alone or who has lost someone, I hope you are ok

Bog “I just want to fast forward until the daffodills come out. Everyone else is entitled to their own feelings about their own circumstances. Just don't dictate how others should feel.“

In a way, yes, but I’ll be relieved to get home so looking forward to that.

One neighbour just blatantly invited us for a drink this evening, I’d have gone for it especially as she’s recently widowed, but mum wasn’t having any of it.

It’s quite annoying to think there was actually a fun option for this evening after all! The lady has another friend round too. Glad to see people saying fuck it. That said, she is recently widowed so if the police do knock, there’s a valid reason.

I thought I was ok with all Xmas plans being cancelled (Tier 4) but this morning I felt a bit low. However now it's dark, the lights are on the Xmas tree, Carols from Kings and a gin and tonic in hand, I feel quite Christmassy.

We're very lucky that these days we have things like FaceTime and Zoom to make things so much easier. And none of my family are ill.

I'm in my 50s and had a serious health scare earlier this year so I think I've realised that I can't afford to waste a Xmas. I just need to understand it's different and enjoy it for what it is.