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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for wanting xmas to be over?

106 replies

user1506328491 · 24/12/2020 09:35

Tier 4 and all plans cancelled. Despite having children who will enjoy the day, AIBU for wanting it all to be over?

OP posts:
Original poster
user1506328491 · 24/12/2020 10:20

@derelictwreck Y - fair comment

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 24/12/2020 10:21

YANBU

If it wasn’t for the kids I’d be ignoring it entirely. Christmas for me is nothing without people around.

Heyahun · 24/12/2020 10:21

Im not able to fly home to my family so stuck in London - but fuck it - it’s still a few days off work and lots of nice food, relaxing with my husband. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it being over at all!

AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:21

[quote user1506328491]@acornautumn I hear you- the reminiscing on the dearly departed gets wearing..... [/quote]
Thank you so much for saying that

Most people just think it’s evil for me to feel this way

I’ve lived in my local area a long time so people know me. Last night I even had supermarket staff say “oh, another Christmas without your dad, are you okay?” And I struggled not to say “it’s okay, I’m over it, i was over it ages ago, and given the other issues I'm worried about, it’s not anywhere near my mind”.

I hope I’ll be home by 3pm on Boxing Day and the whole shebang will be done.

No pigs in blankets either. Still, after the amount I’ve eaten this year, it will be a good exercise in self control.

BrumBoo · 24/12/2020 10:24

[quote user1506328491]@brumboo do you think its mainly from SE as that's where xmas is cancelled....? Others less miserable as have their day to enjoy? [/quote]
I think it's people in the SE that's been the most vocal about it. It's always the case that people don't seem to have a moanfest until it affects London. Other places in the UK tend to get on with it.

We're in T3, but most of our family is in T4 so can't see them regardless. We'll expect for my mother, who died this year so you know, won't be spending another Christmas with at all. Still, not going to be miserable for the sake of it. Its all a bit foot-stompy 'I'm not getting my own way' behaviour in my eyes, but there we go.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 24/12/2020 10:24

I have adopted the mindset that "Christmas" is cancelled. We have a tree and lights and presents but the thing that makes it special is family and they will not be here.

I realised that by taking the pressure off myself to stop feeling "Christmassy" (whatever that means) leaves me able to plan lunch and look forward to the day rather than thinking about what (or who) is missing. It's going to be very laid back with a roast dinner, lots of pud and doing everything I can to make it a great day for my mum.

AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:27

“ Its all a bit foot-stompy 'I'm not getting my own way' behaviour in my eyes, but there we go.”

It’s just people having a bit of solidarity online. I thank the OP for starting the thread. Though I do want pigs in blankets now....

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 24/12/2020 10:27

Doesn't really bother me. Im pregnant so i cant drink. Have to eat bland food or im sick. I will still have to walk the dog in the freezing cold morning and night. Plus working full days the 3 days following Xmas Day.
Will have a casual at home meal with my family (within the support bubble) which will be nice but other than that its just another day as far as I am concerned.

SingleWontMingle · 24/12/2020 10:28

If you read what other MNetters are going through right now you should be ashamed of yourself.

You have children who in your words will 'enjoy the day'. That's what life is all about and that's what they'll remember. They'll always be shit thrown at you - make their memories good ones.

AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:30

Single “ If you read what other MNetters are going through right now you should be ashamed of yourself”

Don’t be ridiculous. We all go through the terrible stuff. No one is ever spared.

BrumBoo · 24/12/2020 10:30

It’s just people having a bit of solidarity online.

There have been so many Christmas misery top trumps threads over the past few days. I mean MN is renowned for it anyway this time of year, but the many threads about T4 are getting tiresome. Most of them are completely 'first world problems' situations. I save my sympathy for those who are facing Christmas completely alone, or without a family member who should have been here if it wasn't for this hellish virus. Not someone who has family around them and yet are moaning anyway.

SingleWontMingle · 24/12/2020 10:32

Don’t be ridiculous. We all go through the terrible stuff. No one is ever spared.

That's my very point though isn't it? She has children who I assume she loves who she can give a great Christmas to despite how shitty she feels.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 24/12/2020 10:33

I’m certainly missing being able to be with family, esp. little Gdcs - haven’t had a Christmas with just me and dh for decades.

But I’m quite looking forward to it anyway - peaceful and relaxed, instead of being very busy as I usually would be, when catering for a crowd. I’ve always been happy to do it, though - I’m not one of your Christmas martyrs!

For once I shall be able to enjoy Carols from King’s with mulled wine and mince pies - but without a lot of noise/chatter, or anyone wanting to watch something else.

AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:33

@BrumBoo

It’s just people having a bit of solidarity online.

There have been so many Christmas misery top trumps threads over the past few days. I mean MN is renowned for it anyway this time of year, but the many threads about T4 are getting tiresome. Most of them are completely 'first world problems' situations. I save my sympathy for those who are facing Christmas completely alone, or without a family member who should have been here if it wasn't for this hellish virus. Not someone who has family around them and yet are moaning anyway.

No one’s asking for sympathy.

OP has started this great thread which I’m grateful for.

I have to set off shortly OP so thank you and best wishes for it going quickly! 😂🥂

Original poster
user1506328491 · 24/12/2020 10:34

For balance, I think part of the sadness is knowing older relatives won't always be around so missing a xmas seems harsh

OP posts:
DisappointedOfNorfolk · 24/12/2020 10:36

@user1506328491

I find a pig in blanket doesn't really compare to seeing family.

Tbh I prefer a pig in blanket to most of my family Grin!

I do appreciate it must be hard for those who pinned all their hopes on seeing family after the shite show of a year we've all just had though. I feel sorry for those who had plans that they were looking forward to, even though I personally think they were crazy for making plans to meet two other families, indoors, in the middle of a pandemic!

We had already decided in November that we wouldn't be seeing family indoors over the 'Christmas bubble' period even if 'allowed' as we didn't think it was sensible and have been being really cautious since January/February time when all this started, and s being back at school, plus dh being at work throughout was enough of a risk for us...

So we had a socially distanced present exchange and chat over coffee in (our own) insulated travel cups and waterproof coats yesterday in the garden and we will FaceTime tomorrow, and try and make the best of it for the dc Smile.

I was a bit upset yesterday evening that that was 'it' for seeing my Dad over Christmas but I'd rather he was safe and well and hopefully we'll get many more Christmases together.

I hope you manage to enjoy your day, even if it wasn't what you'd planned or hoped for, and that hopefully the vaccines will be rolled out soon and we can all start to rebuild our lives after this, frankly, shit year.

JaceLancs · 24/12/2020 10:38

I thought I was ok until this morning - I just can’t face getting out of bed
I need to put clean sheets on, do food prep, get the wet n dry vac out for dining room (carpet soaked due to roof leak)
Deliver some Xmas presents to family who we are not allowed to meet up with
Feed cats including neighbours who are away
When I can’t even face getting dressed

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 24/12/2020 10:41

Life is far too short for wanting to erase or fast forward a Christmas because of a change of plans Hmm

It's not ideal, but FFS, the drama. It's so insensitive towards people who have GENUINE problems, and people who had horrendous Christmas in the past. It's not a misery competition, but what exactly happened?

Delaying meeting family? Supermarket replacing your turkey by another cut of turkey?

Christmas is not cancelled in any shape or form, it's different.

It does absolutely suck to have cancelled birthday parties for a December child, pantos, grottos, all the fun stuff, but it's so unfair to bring the misery on the kids even more when you can find other things to do instead at home. Making smore and eating popcorn in front of movie at home might not have been the plan, but it's seriously not that bad.

AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:43

“ It's not ideal, but FFS, the drama.”

Haven’t seen any dramatic statements.

SingleWontMingle · 24/12/2020 10:43

I can totally understand how some posters want to fast forward Christmas...just not the OP.

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 24/12/2020 10:43

All these people in a state of "despair" because they can't see relatives.. how much effort do you make throughout the year to see them?

The country hasn't been on lockdown or Tier 4 constantly, there were occasion to meet, did you take them?

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 24/12/2020 10:47

@AcornAutumn

“ It's not ideal, but FFS, the drama.”

Haven’t seen any dramatic statements.

I have seen plenty.

Frankly, I am making the most of Christmas now. I have no idea what kind of Christmas I will have in the future, and it would be such a shame to bitterly regretting this Christmas because some real problem happened to put it into perspective, but too late.

It's not a competitive "it could be worst, people have been burglared, had a housefire, are flooded, dying .. right now", it's trying to make the most of Christmas that is not cancelled because of a few change of plans.

That's what this pandemic should have taught us surely? If you had been waiting for years to have a holiday and THIS year was the year, wouldn't you be gutted to have wasted all this time? Same thing.

AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:48

@heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping

All these people in a state of "despair" because they can't see relatives.. how much effort do you make throughout the year to see them?

The country hasn't been on lockdown or Tier 4 constantly, there were occasion to meet, did you take them?

My cousins up north have been in local lockdown pretty much constantly.
Original poster
user1506328491 · 24/12/2020 10:49

@heseesyouwhenyouresleeping yes

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 24/12/2020 10:50

“ it's trying to make the most of Christmas that is not cancelled because of a few change of plans.

That's what this pandemic should have taught us surely? If you had been waiting for years to have a holiday and THIS year was the year, wouldn't you be gutted to have wasted all this time? Same thing.”

I definitely don’t understand how that applies to some of us. If you have any suggestions to make the next two days better, I’d love to hear them. Bear in mind mum doesn’t like to have much food in the house, has kittens if I step out into the garden when it’s cold, and there’s not much booze. She won’t play a game either.