AIBU for wanting xmas to be over?

[user1506328491]

Tier 4 and all plans cancelled. Despite having children who will enjoy the day, AIBU for wanting it all to be over?

@AcornAutumn I totally understand what you're saying and why you'd want to FF it. I'm looking at what to be grateful for this year despite some stuff but last year Christmas Day was the worst of my life - and that's from someone who always looks to the positives. It's the OP I'd swap places with.

I do get why people are upset because of cancelled plans, but I think the whole Scrooge effect is a bit much.

Where I live there have been tight restrictions for ages. I haven't seen close friends and family since March - I'm heavily pregnant and after last Xmas's miscarriage did look forward to being able to share the joy at a big Xmas bash up. I can't, but ho hum, still better than last year when I was crying into my wine.

The year before that I lost my father. The year before that I lost my mother.

I'm healthy, DH is healthy, baby is healthy, what's the point in making it all worse for myself by grouching about because I can't have the plans I wanted?

We'll all do a big Zoom call, not exactly the same but it'll be a bloody good laugh.

I do feel for people who are on their own though. Especially at short notice. I think that's a very different kettle of fish. But I find myself feeling a bit impatient at married couples with kids saying that it's not the same. Of course it isn't, but you don't have to make it worse by wallowing.

YANBU. Christmas to both me and DP is about family. We both actually go and spend the day with our families separately normally, then I'll go to his parents' later in the evening (everyone at my gathering goes to sleep!!) and then we spend Twixmas together.

None of that this year, just us. Even DP's son is at his mum's this year, so there's nobody to make it special for.

We eat nice food and watch TV every day, so there's literally nothing different about today, so far as I can see.

@FolkyFoxFace just this!

For those of of us who are only affected by the COVID restrictions, surely we fall into the category of "all in this together" the sheer scale of which hasn't been seen since WW2 where frankly, as a nation, we were portrayed as having far more gumption that the shit we've witnessed with COVID.

BUT: For those who have the addition of real issues outside of COVID restrictions, this year will be so very difficult.

@user1506328491

For balance, I think part of the sadness is knowing older relatives won't always be around so missing a xmas seems harsh

Yes. My dad has cancer and while we hope he’s got a good long time left he might not, not least because his chemotherapy was cancelled because only Covid matters these days.

Just try and make the best of it. Life is too short. If you’ve got kids enjoy Christmas with them.

[quote user1506328491]@aprilx did you have plans cancelled or was it always going to be you and DH?[/quote]
We were supposed to be going to the Lake District for four days and we’re really looking forward to it, something we have done in previous years.

@madameblobby That is terrible. Hope he gets better and you have more years together to enjoy

[quote SingleWontMingle]@FolkyFoxFace just this!

For those of of us who are only affected by the COVID restrictions, surely we fall into the category of "all in this together" the sheer scale of which hasn't been seen since WW2 where frankly, as a nation, we were portrayed as having far more gumption that the shit we've witnessed with COVID.

BUT: For those who have the addition of real issues outside of COVID restrictions, this year will be so very difficult.[/quote]
Yes, absolutely agree! There will definitely be some people in really awful positions with thanks to Covid, and I totally understand the need to vent about it. I would never pull faces at people in those positions having a well deserved moan.

But for those who are otherwise healthy with close family at hand on the day, I find it a bit distasteful. If anything, Christmas should be an excuse to relax and be a little merry, in spite of everything!

Mull some wine, eat some chocolate, and be grateful for the good things - they are still there!

[quote user1506328491]@madameblobby That is terrible. Hope he gets better and you have more years together to enjoy [/quote]
Thanks very much. He’s only 73 so hopefully a few years in the old dog yet. Not worth risking seeing him this year with a vaccine so close.

Not looking forward to this year at all. Alongside Covid my mum died suddenly and unexpectedly a few months ago. We are in tier 4 (and one of my kids is self isolating) so I can't be with my dad or any of my siblings.

Will try to make the best of it - my kids are young and very excited - but it's going to be hard.

Roll on 1st January when I can throw myself into Dry January / health kick and get my house and life in order (although I assume I'll be homeschooling given we are in Central London and being battered by this new Covid variant) so I won't pin too much hope on January

To the people saying its selfish etc

People craved xmas this year more than ever, because of all of this year's loneliness and unhappiness.

To have xmas cancelled underscores just how serious - and worsening - the situation is. Ie. we are not going to be escaping all the bad stuff anytime soon.

@crunchymum that's bound to be a tough xmas without mum - sympathies

We’re in tier 1 area and I have absolutely no festive cheer this year - if I could cancel I would. I’ve gone through the motions of buying presents and wrapping them, putting up the tree (but not bothered putting a single decoration on it) and buying the food go a traditional Christmas dinner; we have DMiL here as we’re her support bubble and she would otherwise have been on her own so we’re doing it for her and the DCs but they’ve no concept of what Christmas is as too young so,
If it wasn’t for DMiL, I could have ignored it totally.

But Christmas hasn't been cancelled! As I said above, for those who are alone or deeply affected by health/loss because of Covid, I understand.

But speaking as someone who is vulnerable, spent since March only virtually communicating with friends and extended family, and who knows that I'll probably be spending most of my maternity leave doing the same thing...I still can't find it in myself to grouch about and make myself feel worse.

My brother is stuck in London. He's single and lives alone. Even he isn't grouching - he's got himself some nice bits in and we'll be on Zoom for most of the day. I appreciate most people wouldn't take that route (I'd be very lonely, hence my gripes are aimed at people with immediate families at home), but I admire him for making the most of a holiday.

I'm looking forward to having a day off. Drinking eating and sleeping then back in work Saturday

Christmas AREN'T cancelled.
They are just different. Maybe if people stop claiming Christmas are cancelled, they might see taht it's not all taht bad...

@folky was that level of isolation your choice? Thought all shielders had had a break over summer? I could be wrong

My point being some have embraced isolation and online comms and others miss IRL interaction

YANBU I feel the same this year. I can't see my partner as he lives in a tier 4 area. My son is isolating as he had a positive case in his class at school. I feel miserable.

Cancelled to the extent that food drink presents are just that- stuff

When enjoyed with the people we like or love, they become special and christmassy

Well you live with people you love, I would assume... Juat have fun with your family, like most people do

[quote user1506328491]@folky was that level of isolation your choice? Thought all shielders had had a break over summer? I could be wrong

My point being some have embraced isolation and online comms and others miss IRL interaction [/quote]
Not entirely by choice, no. I was high risk to begin with, but then with being pregnant my midwife advised I be very careful. I live in a very busy city with very high Covid numbers, where no one has been social distancing really, and the ones who do want to can't. It's virtually impossible. It wasn't worth the risk - but I wouldn't call it a "choice". I've not enjoyed being apart from people at all.

Zoom calls really aren't the same, it's been lonely, but I've had to make the best of a bad situation. I know that these are weird times so things just have to be done differently. There's no point in me moaning about it. It'll just drag me down into a bog of misery and all for something I can't change.

For the people who make the best of it, do you fake it and then feel happier?

Yes.
I look at my mum this year. She (and all my family) are in Australia. This was supposed to be her big magical Christmas with all her grandkids together - the first one where all her kids have children. Eldest grandchild is 9, youngest just turned one.

We accepted months ago that we wouldn’t be able to go - we’ve only been once before with the kids, as it’s so expensive this time of year. My brother and his pair now have tummy bugs.

And so it’s my parents, my other brother and their one year old. My mum could wallow in the loss of having all her family together, on top of not seeing us potentially for years (usually it’s a every six months and never more than a year).

But she’s not. She’s allowed herself to be a bit sad but has decided to make the most of what she’s got, rather than focusing on what she doesn’t.

I’m following her example and throwing myself into it. Am I sad the kids won’t see any wider family this Christmas? Of course, I’m gutted for them and for us. I’ve never found it harder to be an immigrant far from home this year. It would be terribly easy to give in and wallow and it’s had to be a conscious effort not to. But I’m finding joy in little traditions and the children’s excitement and it’s worth it.

@schrodingers Yea think its about seeing the immediate family as 'enough'

Made harder though when DPs / ILs are sad and not being very stoical.... anyone else's the same?

@BrumBoo of course someone has to make a jibe about London. Ffs!