To be annoyed that DP won’t let me have the electric blanket on?

[Strawberryfelineforever]

He says we don’t need it on because the storage heater is on and that I don’t pay the electricity so I don’t know how much it costs. I thought they were quite cheap to run. I get cold easily and he said I should put more clothes on instead of going to bed with next to nothing on. AIBU?

it's also very generous and she can buy something she truly wants.. 🌟

She wants a warm bed.

@Imiss2019

Not relevant but this thread reminded me of my youth and going clubbing with my friend. We’d always sleep ever at her Nan’s house and roll in at 3am to find the electric blankets warming our beds. Kind of wish our house got cold enough to need one now!

Ah so sweet! Mum used to put a hot water in my bed so when I got back from a night out inevitably wearing next to nothing and no coat I would warm up quickly

We've got those little plug In heat pads. Great for warming up parts of the bed or for putting on an ache after the gym, etc. How about getting one of those, as they don't affect each other if one wants heat and the other doesn't.

@Strawberryfelineforever

We are getting married next year. He says when we move in and I pay the electricity while he pays the mortgage then I can have whatever I want on lol

This isn't a good attitude - tight waddery and pettiness are deeply unpleasant traits and very unlikely to change - more likely he will get worse!

His priority should be you and your comfort not how many pence you spend round at his on a thimble full of electricity.

He's telling you who he is, believe me it will only deteriorate when you get married, so think again.

I agree with him. It's not "controlling" to not want to pay for electricity when you're not wrapped up enough.

@Strawberryfelineforever

We are getting married next year. He says when we move in and I pay the electricity while he pays the mortgage then I can have whatever I want on lol

So he’s in charge of the finances and he gets to decide what your financial contribution will be and whether you may spend some money etc.?

This is not good! He is already taking control over you and you’re accepting it like a good little girl.

Have you discussed having children and how you will manage your finances if you reduce your work hours? Will he feel entitled to spend money on his hobbies because he’s the one earning more money or will you be a partnership with equal spending power regardless of who earns the most?

Talk this through in much more detail so you know what you’re getting into before you get married. Don’t assume it will be fine.

We have dual controls on our electric blanket because DH likes it lukewarm and I like getting into a toasty bed in a cold room. Electric blankets are cheap to run and surely if he really loved you, he’d want you to be happy and comfortable when you stay over at his?

Honestly, his penny pinching ways do not spell out a happy future for you.

@MrsTerryPratchett

it's also very generous and she can buy something she truly wants.. 🌟

She wants a warm bed.

she can buy that in her new place when she ditches this fool 🎉

Mean with money, mean with love.

If he wasn't warm enough in bed, would you want him to feel comfortable? Then why do you deserve less?

My DPs who are very long divorced have always had opposing views on the heating. My DF who was raised on a farm in the arse end of Scotland now resides in a practically tropical utopia within his home due to the heat whacked up to the max (I get a sweat on visiting), vs my DM who was born in a hotter clime but swears by the cost saving virtues of her economy 7. If we put a coat back on she'll begrudgingly consent to the additional 'warming glow' of the electric fire switched on for a 3min burst. Better to find out you're incompatible now rather than later when it comes to 'heating war' OP 😉.

This does sound controlling as it's about the money from what you've said....

Tbh I’d be quite pissed off if DH came to bed naked and then complained about the cold. Put some iwarm pjs on! Also I get ridiculously hot in the night and I can’t think of anything worse than an electric blanket so no way would I allow one in the bed.

Take a sleeping bag when you stay over...

Marry this man at your peril. You've been warned!

Why do people on here assume so much?

Op hasn't said she sleeps naked and given she she feels the cold, the chances of her sleeping in the buff are slim.

And you shouldn't have to 'wrap up' warm in bed. Sleep hygiene advice is to wear loose clothes, not layer up!

Are there any other things you're not allowed to do, @Strawberryfelineforever?

@Eckhart

Are there any other things you're not allowed to do, *@Strawberryfelineforever*?

It's not a matter of what she's "allowed" to do. They don't live together, it's just that when she's a guest in his house he doesn't want an electric blanket in his bed. Seems fair enough to me.

Why would he give you five Hundred quid cash for cmas? That’s really unusual from a boyfriend, especially one who worries about his electricity bill.

Depends what you're wearing to bed and whether he has a lot of disposable income. If he cant actually afford it and you sleep in your pants then YABU, if he's just being tight and you already wear pyjamas and socks YANBU.

I thought you shouldn't have electric blankets on while you're asleep because of the fire risk.

@MaryLeeOnHigh

It's not a matter of what she's "allowed" to do

It might be or it might not. That's why I asked. You might be right, and for OP's sake, I hope so. But if you're wrong, it would be good for OP to identify that sooner rather than later.

He sounds a bit controlling, given that an electric blanket is so cheap and would provide OP with comfort. If he's not controlling, I would have thought his priority would be OP's comfort, rather than his few pence each time she stays with him.

To be honest I don’t really wear anything to bed so I can see how I’m being a bit daft Had a chat with him about it and I said if I were wearing PJs and a dressing gown would he feel different and put the blanket on? He said yes but that it doesn’t make sense to go to bed in next to nothing and then have both the heating and blanket on. For clarification it is his blanket, not mine and no he is generally not that tight, always gives me whatever I pick for my birthdays or Christmas or gives me money towards something I really want. He just doesn’t think blanket situation makes sense and that he thinks it is unnecessarily costing more on a prepaid top up card.

My nan had one. It caught fire with her in the bed and almost destroyed the house. She escaped thankfully

Usually pays for meals out and never wants petrol money when I offer in the 4 years we’ve been together. Granted I make less money but he always says to eat whatever I like from his cupboards or fridge etc, so it’s only really with the blanket. He doesn’t care if I have the telly on all day at his (which I wouldn’t anyway) which I assume uses more electricity

Reminds me of my tightarse step father. He used to count the sheets of toilet paper used and lecture accordingly. Then he would wake me up (yes wake me up - he worked nights) occasionally to tell me I'd opened the wrong milk or something (wrong date order). 🙈

Ok just seen last message he's not like the miser my mother married, be thankful OP :)

Don’t get married without living together first. That way madness lays

It worked for us. I moved in three days after we got married.

We also have an electric blanket with separate controls, right and left.