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Original poster

To share or not to share Secret Santa Scratchcard Winnings

481 replies

WoolieLiberal · 23/12/2020 11:23

I was given a National Lottery Scratchcard as a Secret Santa gift. I thought this was a bit naff until I realised it was a winner.

I won a (low end) four figure sum. I got excited and told my colleagues.

Since then, the person who gave it to me sent me a message suggesting (in a lighthearted way) that I might want to give her half. I replied with a laugh emoji as I thought she was joking, but she has since messaged me to ask if I have decided whether I am going to do so or not!

I’ve also been asked by three other colleagues if I could “lend” them “small“ (three Figure) amounts “to help with Christmas”.

DH says I was daft to have told anyone, but it’s done now and is none of anyone else’s business. He says I should treat myself for a Change.

I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t won anything because if I respond to all requests I’ll have virtually nothing left, and if I don’t, then I’ll be thought badly of and stingy.

There’s a woman at work who works part time and is married to a very wealthy businessman (the job is more of a hobby/something to do) and they’re always jetting off on holidays to far flung destinations, having meals out, nice cars and jewellery etc. No one has ever (to my knowledge) asked her to share her wealth.

If I knew a colleague was genuinely struggling I would help but this feels like vultures are circling. DH, DD’s and I are not wealthy by any stretch but “managing”.

Thoughts welcome!!

OP posts:
HermioneKipper · 23/12/2020 14:13

Don’t let this nasty lot guilt you into giving them your money 😡 It’s yours - enjoy it! Or treat your family. Maybe if they hadn’t said anything I might’ve given the secret Santa giver a little treat, but she’s been so classless she shouldn’t get anything

fortifiedwithtea · 23/12/2020 14:13

Cheeky fuckers, the money is yours to enjoy.

I’d give each of the grabby bastards a scratch card and tell them you are sharing your luck.

Murinae · 23/12/2020 14:14

You’ll never please everyone with whatever you do so I would just keep it and maybe give the gifter £200.

LuckyNumberThirteen · 23/12/2020 14:14

The fact they are asking would make me not want to.

ClashCityRocker · 23/12/2020 14:14

Why on earth should OP have to pretend she's up to her eyeballs in debt and on the bones of her arse to keep the money that is rightfully hers?

OP, in that situation I'd have probably ordered pizzas as a treat lunch or bought in goodies for the team as an acknowledgement of my good luck. But nothing more than that and tbh I wouldn't be inclined to do so if I was being harassed.

It sounds like someone has bought you a pretty thoughtless secret santa present that has then backfired.

TheSpottedZebra · 23/12/2020 14:15

Really, just check it's real and not a joke first. All this could be worrying about nothing.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/12/2020 14:15

So your own DH, who could quite reasonably expect to benefit from the win as well, has told you that it's yours to do what you want with... but a bunch of randoms, with whom you happen to share a workspace, believe that they are entitled to share it out between themselves?!

Even if you do what you said, they will still resent you for keeping half of it for yourself and talk about you behind your back. They don't really see you as an individual person in your own right - just as the obstacle to them getting their hands on 'their share' of what they see as joint winnings.

Ask each of them personally to tell you, honestly, what they were planning to give you to make up for your disappointment in the 99+% likely event of you having received a worthless bit of paper instead of a nice present. Also ask them, now you all know it was a decent win, which of their own presents (not necessarily just their SS gifts - how about those from their spouses and families?) they're intending to share with you.

Supposing you'd had a financial loss or big bill of £2K, who would have been there and willing to share the cost/burden of it with you? Would your DH? Most certainly, I'm sure (if his reaction is anything to go on, he sounds a really decent sort). Would your colleagues? Not the flimsiest chance.

DuzzyFuck · 23/12/2020 14:16

Christ what a load of grabby fuckers you work with OP! I can sort of understand the gift-giver being a bit put out (although really that is the risk you take giving out lottery tickets) but the rest of the team asking you for money is absolutely absurd!! I can't fathom how any of them have got the brass neck??

Keep the money, enjoy it, and if you feel you really must share the wealth then take some nice chocolates into the office and slip the gift giver £100.

LH1987 · 23/12/2020 14:19

No way should you give her money. She gave you a gift, it’s yours.

MaryLeeOnHigh · 23/12/2020 14:21

Seriously, just tell them you were joking and you won nothing.

ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 23/12/2020 14:21

Buy everyone in your team a scratch card pray hope someone also wins and then the dilemma moves to that person Grin

I like your idea about splitting it but I would keep £1.5k saying you and split the £500

Lordamighty · 23/12/2020 14:21

@MaudHatter

Or buy them a scratch card each
That is a brilliant solution.
Notthe9oclocknewsathon · 23/12/2020 14:22

You’re under no obligation. If you can’t be arsed with the agro of saying no you could bend the truth and say “to be honest I have a relative who could really do with this so I’m afraid I’ve already gifted to them”... the relative being your family!

Tingalingtortoise · 23/12/2020 14:23

There’s no way any of them would be receiving a penny! It’s the risk you take for giving that as a gift.

simonthedog · 23/12/2020 14:24

The only point of the gift you were given was the chance of winning. You won, don't share. If it weren't for that chance they were actually giving you nothing.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/12/2020 14:25

Those fake scratchcards are pure nasty. I don't think I could stay friends with somebody who thought that something like that was funny.

I remember seeing years ago, adverts in the back of magazines where you could prank call somebody - have them think it was a person calling them rather than just a recording. One of them was 'it's Camelot and you've won a million', another was 'my daughter's pregnant and you must be the father'; there were other life-changing events to choose from as well. I always wondered just what kind of 'friend' would do that.

If it were funny (and it isn't), surely the only theoretically-redeeming way around would be that something bad had supposedly happened and you're then relieved to find out that your house hasn't burned down after all or that you haven't been sacked for gross misconduct. Making somebody think that something amazingly happy has happened and then sending them crashing back down to earth with a thud is truly indefensible.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/12/2020 14:26

The only point of the gift you were given was the chance of winning. You won, don't share. If it weren't for that chance they were actually giving you nothing.

Yes, that's a very good and succinct way of rationalising it all.

20viona · 23/12/2020 14:27

Keep the money and give the gifter £50 or so To keep them
Happy.

Gingerwhinger0 · 23/12/2020 14:27

Those fake scratch cards are horrible. How mean spirited, or clueless would you have to be to give one.

pollysproggle · 23/12/2020 14:28

I won 5k on a scratch card that was the favour at a wedding.
They had planned for everyone to scratch them at the same time as part of the speeches so they'd been on the table for a while and had been knocked about.
The woman next to me (I didn't really know her, met once before on the hen) and my scratch card had possibly been jumbled up but possibly not and I'd asked which was which.
She claimed one and I took the other- her face when I won!
She went on to get upset and insist that it was actually her one after all. Cried, spoke to the bride to speak to me and make me give it to her, then talked about how that money would pay for HER dream wedding and was so sad. She then suggested we split it!
It was an insane reaction and she spoiled the wedding in a way.

I did say 'drinks on me!' And bought a round for all the guests and a bottle of champagne for the bride and groom (£400). She refused the drink offer and sulked for the rest of the day!

Imonlydoingwhatican · 23/12/2020 14:28

If its real heres your options

  1. Keep yourself as it was a gift
  1. Share with gifter
  2. Tell the rest you donated it to charity
  3. Keep majority but do something nice for the team, treats in breakroom for a week or something similar.
ancientgran · 23/12/2020 14:28

I think sharing equally with the team is a nice idea. It has been such a hard year and sharing out a bit of joy is a lovely thing to do.

lifein2020 · 23/12/2020 14:32

I really think it is a fake scratch card.
The fact that lots of them are asking you for money means they are in on the joke.
Check it's real before you do anything.
They are wanting to see your reactions and how you will 'spend' the money.

DeRigueurMortis · 23/12/2020 14:32

OP do not give anyone any money.

It will not address the issue.

Whatever you give will not be good enough.

If you spilt all the money with the team the gifter will whinge they should have got more.

If you share half the money you'll be told you should have shared all of it.

There's absolutely no point trying to appease people in this situation. You'll just have less money and people will still moan.

You also appreciate that if any of them had won they wouldn't give you anything? If they are cheeky enough to demand money from you then you can guarantee they wouldn't share it in return.

If you give a scratch card as a gift you are also giving potential winnings. There no other circumstances where it would be socially acceptable to demand part of a present back because it turned out to be more valuable than someone thought it was.

If you hadn't won would they have shared their SS gifts with you to compensate you from getting a piece of card?

So first steps are to make sure it's genuine and claim the money.

Then simply (and firmly) say no to all these requests. You don't need to give a reason.

bananaskinsnomnom · 23/12/2020 14:32

It’s amazing how many friends you make when money comes your way.

No, don’t give it to people “to help with Christmas” - you can probably tell who is in genuine need at Christmas. Are these people your close friends? Would they share with you?

You do t owe anyone an explanation. I think you’ve established sharing the info was a mistake and you don’t deserve a hard time for that. If anyone asks, you’ve put it towards some work on the house that needs doing. You’ve thrown it at the mortgage. You’re saving it for a holiday.

Then go and treat yourself or indeed save it for when the world opens up again.

I gave out scratch cards in cards at work one year. Everyone scratched them there and then and one person won £50. Ok so it’s not as much but I laughed and said trust me to give away the winner. That’s the risk with giving these things away.

I would be cautious of giving a token amount. I almost wonder if that would be worse. But maybe consider £100 or something. Definitely not half. No way. That’s just life, and the giver should have realised the (albeit small) risk of giving them out.

Enjoy it OP.

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